Cheating, Flirting, and JealousyBeing unfaithful to your significant other or suspect them of the same? Can't stand the way they flirt? Jealous? Discuss your experiences here.
If you did cheat in the past, whether it was once or more often, when do you tell the new person you are seeing?
I don't abide by the "once a cheater always a cheater" mentality, and it seems so detrimental to talk about cheating early in getting to know someone when they don't know a lot about you yet.
I always advocate honesty. I would say that telling about it early on may give the other person time to see if you still exhibit that kind of behaviour.
It may of course just make them run away.
I think its different if you are asked an outright question. I wouldn't have a problem with a girl not telling me something I had never asked about.
However if I found out that it had occured from someone else I would probably be a little 'something', don't know the right word for it really, a mixture of unease/worry. Would cause me to take a closer look at what had happened between us up to that point.
If she had told me herself and given a little background I would have been in a better position to take it into account.
I know for me it would be a bit of an issue, but not a killer. It would probably colour my perception for a little while.
If her behaviour gave me no cause for concern then I would not be concerned.
I agree that it is not the case once/always. If she had cheated on every bf that would be a red flag that stopped the race.
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All I know for sure is that I know nothing.
Ok, am I missing something? Where is it written that you have to disclose everything that every happened in your past to a potential mate? Because I have a lot of ***** in my past, upon the advice of therapists, I've forgone that sharing part for many things because it seems unnecessary in the face of a new relationship.
Ok, am I missing something? Where is it written that you have to disclose everything that every happened in your past to a potential mate? Because I have a lot of ***** in my past, upon the advice of therapists, I've forgone that sharing part for many things because it seems unnecessary in the face of a new relationship.
And that is certainly another, and equally valid, view. I most certainly understand it and respect it, now anyway.
I agree with Otter on this one. It is one thing to be honest when asked a specific question but there is no reason you have to disclose every little dirty short coming from you past.
If you did cheat in the past, whether it was once or more often, when do you tell the new person you are seeing?
If they asked me withing the first 6 months of dating I'd say that is my business. If they asked me after the first 6 months of dating I'd still say that it is my business. If they asked me after we were married then I'd tell them.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
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