In Search Of...Having a hard time forming friendships or finding companions, lovers, or associates? Is someone pursuing an unwelcome relationship with you? Talk about your experiences here.
I was in two long-term relationships through online sites. One guy was a narcisscist, and the other was a commitment-phobic emotional cripple. It would be a very long time before I considered online dating again....I think it attracts the wrong type of men.
Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 6th February 2006 at 5:40 AM..
You could be right Jen. My mother became a widow five years ago and has been doing the online dating thing for about 4 years. She's giving up on it saying to me "After all, would (insert name of her deceased H) have done that or would (insert name of my H) ever do that if he were single?
Thanks for your response to my post "can you guys tell me why men do this?" That guy that I was referring to was actually someone I met online. Let me tell you, I have had my FAIR SHARE of bad dates but then I've had some that lasted more than a couple of months. I think that with anything, you have to take it with a grain of salt. I say go for it, it will expand upon your dating pool.
Thanks for your response to my post "can you guys tell me why men do this?" That guy that I was referring to was actually someone I met online. Let me tell you, I have had my FAIR SHARE of bad dates but then I've had some that lasted more than a couple of months. I think that with anything, you have to take it with a grain of salt. I say go for it, it will expand upon your dating pool.
OMG! Are you sure you're not dating my ex? I also met Mr. I'm-too-overwhelmed-with-work-to-call-or-see-you-or-be-emotionally-invested-in-our-relationship online.
Holy cow - as a man looking for something genuine I decided to try onlne dating. My biggest battle is convincing the women that I am NOT one of the fruitcakes/nutcases/perverts/MM in disguise etc. etc. out there.
In fact, given the couple of dates I've been on, I have to ask, are there any genuine women out there.
I guess the answer is - YMMV - from day to day, but at least, you have half a chance of making some friends.
My experience with on and offline dating agencies (and I have some insider perspective) is that the men are looking for someone attractive, slim and preferably a little younger and the women are looking for a well groomed, financially stable professional. Honestly, both are kinda rare amongst the ranks of those needing to use a dating service. In fact, I'd go as far as to say many folks who are looking online are doing so because their expectations far exceed what they are capable of finding in the "real world".
That's not to say that online dating doesn't work. I know people who have met and found love etc etc etc. But they were folks who were realistic about their desires and single minded and practical in their determination to get married and start breeding. As far as casual dating goes, it just seems to create a lot of frustration.
Well from my point of view, I have used it in the past. However, I met all of my "ex's" in the real world. go figure...
Cygny, if you are who say you are, from the other posts, give me a howler...
These are my experience:
My personal tastes are older intelligent beautiful alpha women (alpha in moderation) which are not easy finding online.
Yes there are many women out there that just have to high of expectations. Some have preconceived notions before replying. Also there are more males doing online dating than women.
Some of my friends that have tried it had women who are too clingy and needy; plus younger than him. I said to him, his expectations are a little to high, as in 85+% compatibility before saying hi.
I've done it a few times, and while it's always fun at first - women get lots of attention on those sites, it tends to lose its appeal fast one loser after another. There are some good guys on there, but you have to weed through some strange ones first. Many people on there are socially inept or bitter from past relationships.
I keep the profiles (2) up as a kind of 'experiment'.
It keeps me informed of what (who's) out there and what new games they are playing.
There are always games, which I, personally, detest.
None of my experiences with online dating have been favorable.
Even the ones I thought might be a little less deceitful turned out to just be better, more creative 'players'.
And it's true what posters here are saying: there are scads of commitment phobes in online dating.
It seems they flock to it because of the increased opportunity for switching off immediately to another person when they are quite finished with the one they are 'dating'.
If you try to use it seriously to find a 'someone special', your chances are slim-to-none in finding him/her, and it may actually turn out to be, at the least, a disheartening attempt at finding a date, mate, or even a decent friend, -and at the worst, a nightmarish one.
But it does help me stay on top of the creative new twists in the old, and rather distasteful games of liars, cheaters, hope killers, and flesh eaters who are out there by the thousands, trolling the internet dating sites for fresh, new 'meat' every day.
(sigh)
-Rio
Last edited by riobikini; 5th February 2006 at 12:14 PM..
10% fruitcakes
20% perverts
30% MM in disguise
50% nutcases
100% commitmentphobes
I'd say there's a waaay higher percentage of perverts. Like, at least 99%.
I'd never pay for an online dating service, but I went on a free one more oriented at young people just for fun (okcupid), and I met some cool people there. Pretty much, as a female, you just sit back and watch the guys fawn over you.
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(BTW alpha, have you checked that profile recently or did you take it down???)
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