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To trust or not to trust. How do I resolve this ?


Infidelity In an affair or suspect your significant other? Share your experiences and concerns here.

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Old 30th January 2006, 8:28 PM   #1
benditlikebeckham
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 12
To trust or not to trust. How do I resolve this ?

I have been happily married for 8 years. About a year ago, I logged into my husband's email and found some emails from this girl who lives in U.K. She sent him 2 or 3 emails with photos of her. Random pics. A few were her head shots and others were of her home town. Her photos were some with and others without any clothes on. Her head shots taken in her bedroom. There was also an email with a large attachment. It was her personal video mpeg of her showing her body and touching her private areas, lying in her bed naked. At the end of the video, she blows a kiss and says "I love you sweetheart." Bear in mind (the girl is pretty ugly and fat). Even my husband admits this !

I found these emails and confronted my husband. He was obviously very guilty at first and then apologised to me. He told me he emailed the girl a last time and told her that she basically ruined our marriage and that he was going to have no contact with her ever again. He closed all various email accounts etc. In my after conversations with my husband - he says the following :-

MY HUSBAND'S VERSION OF WHAT HAPPENED***********************************
The girl and him have been talking for many years online, from even before my hubby met me and married me. They were okay friends. He says she was actually pretty decent person until she sent him all this stuff. He was shocked when he received the naked photos and video, but he continued talking to her via chat for months onwards. Just as friends. Ignoring and not discussing the emails she sent him. Nothing more than "hi" "hellos" exchanged afterwards and they tlked about other general things. My husband promises me that he never encouraged this kind of foul behaviour or led her to believe he wanted any explict material. He says she just kept insisting over the year that she had something to show him and then finally one day sent those emails. He says that at first she wasn't even sure that she wanted to send him that stuff but then later she did email them. He says she is disturbed and comes from a broken home and rebellious and may have been interested in him at one point. Its possible she was doing this to seek his attention and move from a platonic relationship to something more. He insists that it was ALL from HER END.

I am extremely unhappy about this whole deal but trying to maintain my calm and re-build our relationship. Only because my husband keeps saying he wants nothing of that world, and only thing he wants is me and our family. I know he loves me very much. No doubt. But, I am also not hoping to be fooled.

AFTER THE NUDE VIDEO EVENT (6-9 months later)
A few weeks ago, I found out that the girl my husband was chatting with online turns out to be related to my cousin's husband. She's his far relative.

This is PURE SHOCKING REVELATION !!!

My QUESTION IS :- Now that I know shes part of my distant family, should I confront her and report all to her family and make her shameful.

b) Should I consider this as cheating by my husband ?
c) Should I trust my husband and his words ?

I have also emailed the girl and told her how disgusted I am with her beahviour and she has never replied to me. She also doesn't know that my cousin is married to her cousin !!

PLEASE PLEASE HELP !! How should I resolve this issue ??
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