[maine2]

I'm currently 17 going on 18. Last year was my first year in a mixed school since primary school. I found my new friends, of both genders, and now they're one of my best friends. In particular, I was very close to one of the guys in my class. He had a rough time in secondary school, and no one really knew about all his stuff. After three months, somehow we found that we could open up to each other, and we got really close. Now, he's one of the closest people in my life, and almost no one else knows as much about me as him.

When we're around each other, we always feel like we can act like ourselves, not the facade we put up for the world. However, last year, he was attached up till March, and I had a crush on someone else, so we didn't really do anything or suspect that there was anything more than friendship. Many people around us did suspect we were together, though, due to our very obvious closeness with each other. Sometimes, I did feel a spark around him, but I always pushed it back simply because he was my best friend, and I felt it was really wrong for me to look for someone else. Part of me was also afraid admitting it would change our close friendship, and it was something I couldn't take a gamble with, especially since I never thought he would like me.

Last October, late one night, we were chatting, and somehow the possibility of us having a mutual attraction towards each other came up. From there, we freaked (since we were just supposed to be best friends), talked for 4 hours, thought for one day, and we finally admitted we were in love. Then, we got together, and we've been together ever since.

However, sometimes I am in doubt of our relationship. The problem is, I am a very insecure person and especially towards relationships even though I have never been in one before. (Yup, he's my first boyfriend.) Sometimes I doubt that he could like me, and I don't dare let myself love him too much, for fear he'd leave one day and I'd be left looking stupid and heartbroken and all that. It's not irrational either, because he's had 7 exes before, and many people have warned me to be careful of him cos he girl-hops. That said though, I do really trust him even with his past - and it's one of the reasons why we're so comfortable with each other. Am I wrong to be so in doubt about myself and him and our relationship? And should I just let go and love him and not care about the consequences, even if it means I could be heartbroken when he leaves? Because once I love someone, it's hard for me to change that, and I sense that's the kind of love I have for him.

Also, ever since we've been in this relationship, our friendship has been rather strained. Somehow, whenever we're in class (we're classmates, remember) sometimes I can't talk to him as much or as freely anymore. And sometimes I just feel so seperate from him, or just upset for no reason, and even I can't really be sure why. And the problem is, when I get upset, I push myself away from him, and we don't really talk. I think this really could be a potential relationship and friendship breaker.

Last thing. Since we were so comfortable physically with each other, we've actually gone to french kissing, even though we've only been attached for three months. Sometimes, I do feel that we might be moving too fast, and I'm afraid it's only the hormones acting. Should we slow down? Or how do I decide if I'm ready for this step (since I've never even kissed before til this) or whether I'm mature enough? I want to be sure that it's not just hormones in our relationship.

[SuperFantastico]

Last thing. Since we were so comfortable physically with each other, we've actually gone to french kissing, even though we've only been attached for three months.

That gave me a good laugh. I guess im just a dirty old man. HA HA HA

Nevermind honey you are young, ignore my humour. Anyways umm ok had to
re-read. I think you should just let go and experience love in its full glory. Your insecurities(which may or maynot be valid. Fear has no ryme or reason.) will only ruin this relationship for you. When people are in highschool, especially guys, they date alot. Now this is the end of highschool, this is when the first long term relationships start. So you are in a good position to have a long relationship.

You have to remember, the difference between you and those othergirls is that
he didnt know them, probably thought they were hot dated them, mess around a bit, and dumped them before getting to know them. REAL intimacy
is based around a strong friendship which you have PLUS you jumped the 'just friends' boundaries into a relationship. The two biggest problems in relationships YOU'VE ALREADY SOLVED!

If in doubt, just talk to him. You could before,whats the difference now? What kissing?! Kissing dosnt stop talking...
unless you try to talk while kissing then it comes out like 'mhph mehrmm'

[flubby]

Originally Posted by SuperFantastico

That gave me a good laugh. I guess im just a dirty old man. HA HA HA

Hahaha nah, it's just cos where I am in asia, stuff happen a lot slower and later than you guys from wherever you are I guess..

Heh anyway, thanks for the advice, I was wondering when or if anyone would even bother..

I went to talk to him today, and it worked out pretty fine. Oh yeah and the kissing with talking thing happened.. Coincidences.

[SuperFantastico]

Lol, good for you. I hate to see a 0 reply post. I think that you have a pretty normal problem, and people on this board are use to much more screwed up stuff :P.

All the best to ya honey. Goodluck