[sporteguy03]

Hey Everyone,
I recently was communicating with a girl through a personals site....She lives an 1.5 hours from me...She was going to be in my area and wanted to hang out with me if possible. She gave me her phone number and email in an email she sent to me.(we had very little background info on each other, other than our profiles). I called her up asked questions about her to get to know her better but she was aleady in my area, I went on to tell her I don't tend to meet people until I establish a connection, and feel safe to meet them, I told her that her intentions were good and it made sense, I'd probably do the same thing if I was in her area since it is a distance! I was not ready to meet yet, I wanted to know who I was meeting and see a better picture of her. I told her I would email her some questions to answer, before we finished she said " I know this sounds cheesy but we have many similarities." She has not replied to my email and according to my mail program deleted my message...Should I call her back on the phone? Forget Her? Was my answer to her a safe response to say to an online dater or did I not show enough interest??? Thanks for the help!

[LN8840K]

What are you hiding?

pictures not up to date, not quite like your description, don't want your wife to know ...

she probably thinks you're playing games and not serious in meeting her

no offense but I would expect the I dont feel safe response from a woman ..hmmm

I would say stick a fork in it ..it's done

[curiousnycgirl]

I met my boyfriend online, and before him I went out with lots of guys I met online. I found that going back and forth in emails or even im chat were a total waste of time. You realy have no clue who your are dealing with until you meet them in person.

To my way of thinking there is no harm in meeting up for a cup of coffee once a connection is established and it cuts out a lot of wasted time.

Personally I think you are being too cautious. Chalk this one up to a learning experience, I doubt she'll be back in touch - and move on.

[sporteguy03]

Wow, some replies....I must say that your reactions are very different from what I read in books....I had one email to her before she came out and told me she was in my area. I do not just randomly go out with someone until yes I feel comfortable, so are you guys saying you would quickly go out with someone without really getting to know them? That sounds kinda desperate to me. But thanks for the advice

[LN8840K]

I would go pretty quickly unless I was hiding something , but to each their own.

I would not call it desperation, I would look at it more like a time saving measure

because lets face it, you can be whoever you want behind the keyboard and if I were internet dating I would not really be looking for a pen pal but a real
relationship.

whats this damn rabbit doing anyway

[EnigmaXOXO]

I do not just randomly go out with someone until yes I feel comfortable,

Totally understandable. And females REALLY need to apply more caution in this area than do males.

But here's something you may not have considered…

Women who are brave enough to post online personals are often FLOODED with responses from overly eager guys. Some of them are sincere, some of them are half-hearted gestures of curiosity (people seeking pen-pals), and a good majority are just creepy pervs looking for kinky cyber sex.

Chances are, you're not the only guy she's corresponding with. The good news is that she actually thought you had some potential, otherwise she would have "deleted" you like the others. But because online personals give people more options than they might otherwise have if meeting singles in the traditional way, it's all too easy to just move on to the "next" potential candidate rather than waste too much time and energy on someone who may (or may not) show enough interest.

Continue to exercise as much caution as you see fit. But if you're concerned about meeting someone in person you're not yet comfortable with, then I would suggest giving her your phone number so the two of you can talk one-on-one, first. This might give you a better "feel" for who that person is on the other side of that monitor and help relieve some of those "jitters" before you actually meet in person.

Good Luck!

[Outcast]

You don't have to go on an actual date but meeting for coffee at a mall or something isn't that big a deal.