[quankanne]

visited my dad over the weekend, who, as usual, filled me in on those former classmates of mine that he runs into from time to time.

one of the girls is C, who divorced her high school sweetheart a couple of years back and is raising her three kids as a single mom. I've not seen her since my mom's funeral, so we really hadn't had a chance to catch up. I imagine, however, conversation with her wouldn't have changed much from when she was married, when she'd talk about how so-and-so's mother told her that her son never married because of C, and how C was the one who "got away." I realize that to some degree, we all fantasize about how much better we could have had it with someone else when we're having problems with our significant others, but something at the back of our minds pointedly remind us that it's just fantasy, after all ...

anyhow, my dad tells me that he met a boy who was a year ahead of C and I in school, who is living in the country with his mom, working as a welder (he did work for Dad, which is how they met) and is divorced with a little girl. He tells dad that he ran into C, who invited him to go to an upcoming festival with her.

now, even before C divorced her husband, she all she could talk about was "the one who got away," so when the marriage was legally over, she began dating this man, who moved back home to be near her. My dad tells me that it didn't work out, that C is looking for a husband, which is why she asked M out.

nothing unusual, but it occurs to me that C is one of these people who seem to think that the person she's got her eye on holds the magic answer to her problems, that things will automatically get better if she hooks up with them, but in reality, nothing changes. She's still an unhappy divorcée looking for answers in places that really don't need to be revisited.

is this unusual behavior, going back to your past to try to reshape your present situation? Do people honestly believe that the answer can be found in someone they have a grand illusion of? My personal thought is that she can never be happy until she fixes what's inside, but I don't think she will ever quite see it that way ...

am curious about your thoughts on this