[lisa345]

I have been very depressed to the point I couldn't get out of bed, I have been called all kinds of bad names and I dont understand how I let this happen to me but My heart has been broken and im not sure what I need to do. I know that I don't trust anymore and I am very confused about him. Well let me tell you what happened then maybe you can tell me what you think I should do about him or if I should believe him ever. One day I was at his home, he had a 15 year old girl and her boyfriend working for him, she had a drug problem and I figure it might be good for her to work and be busy so I allowed it. well I let that day at 5 and went home, I get an email from her from his home at 2:00 in the morning saying she would never do anything to screw me over and don't tell chuck, well I didn't get the email until 7 in the morning and called him and said what was she doing in your home at 2 in the morning, he got quit, I told him she sent me an email, he said she came by to use the phone, she locked her keys in the house and needed to make a call. Then I questioned her she said she needed some money and came to ask him, then he tell me that he took her 2 streets over to pick up the drug "sex drugs ok" and then he said she went home. well the next day I was going through the computer and pulled up a pic of her nude that was saved on there, then I went off, I ask her she told me he took more than one, when I ask him about the pic he said she flashed her breast as so he took the pic and nothing else happened that he never touch that girl and she didn't touch him, then he went to crying and begging me to believe him, and I didn't believe him, he lied to me and I just don't know what to believe, but I feel in my heart that something happened and he's lying to me, its like he would tell the truth about one thing to cover up something that might have happened. Anyway the lady across the street said the she came to her to talk and said that she didn't sleep with him but there were pics and the he pulled his thing and tried to put it in her mouth, I ask him he said that she's a liar, and promised that he didn't do anything with her. So I need help I am going crazy trying to figure if he's lying, which I think in my heart something happened. and that sad thing is , is that I loved him. So please just be honest with me be up front with me on what you think, because I want this over so I can move on, and I am ready if you say anything negative, and if you think that's he lying, it will help me because im confused. He was so sweet to me when we first met and then its like he got control of my head and my heart and I was trapped in his abuse and his physical abuse and thought he might change. He said he would never cheat on me. so what do you guys think? I am trying very hard to break away, so I need your help. Also I ask him why would he do this to me, or treat me the way he does and he said to me that it is all my fault, that I should have been there with him and that I caused it all, and that if he would have been living with me it would have never happened, but me not being there caused all the problems and so I need to look my self in the mirror and see who the blame for it all.
Thanks
Lisa