I love my wife. We just had a baby. Why did I cheat with a prositute?
I have been very very happily married for 3+ years. I got out of a bad relationship with a cheating wife prior to meeting my dream woman. Everything was perfect, great life, great career, great home and to top it off we just had our beautiful baby girl 2 months ago! I am the happiest man on the planet, love my family and love my wife with every ounce of my soul!
For some reason I went out and found a prostitute! Not only did I find a prostitute but I planned this encounter for a week, got a disposable cell phone made an afternoon appointment and booked the hotel room. I had this encounter with this prostitute and got caught due to some sloppy web surfing at home. I tried to lie my way out of it but ended up confessing the whole thing. After the encounter I felt like I had just ripped apart the foundation to my life. I made a promise to myself at that time that I would never cheat on my wife again. I felt empty.
My question is why do men feel the need to do this? I have just ruined my life and the life of the person that I love the most in this world! Our relationship will never be the same & I will not be able to be present at all of my daughters milestones, if this goes the way that I expect. I had it all and I can't even explain to myself why I let this happen much less explain it to my wife. I will try to do what I can to keep this together but my wife will not be able to forget, forgive maybe but not forget!
Her first husband passed away and left her with a special needs son (who I love dearly) and our newborn baby girl Why did I do this? How much can a woman go through in her life. I never meant to hurt her, I am a very good person. Why did I do this and just ruin her life and everything we had built together? Why Why Why???
Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 4th December 2005 at 3:07 PM..
cuz you're an idiot? You did it because you thought you'd get away with it. You're only sorry because you got caught, and you deserve everything that's coming your way right now.
Are you posting this so you can find the perfect excuse to give your wife?
Now thats a good question, and I wondered that myself. Are you wanting others to answer for you why you did what you did , so it will seem a justifiable excuse in your wife's eyes? Only YOU know why you did what you did. No one else can answer that for you.
Jade
__________________
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
*you wanted immediate gratification and felt entitled to it
* you thought you could get away with it
* you probably feel, on some level, that 'all men' are the same way and that you 'couldn't help' it.
In other words, you did it because you were not mature enough to think of the possibe repercussions.
Would you have felt this tearing remorse had you NOT gotten caught? Little food for thought there.
Anyway, the only thing you can probably tell your wife is that you want to go to marriage counseling and try to figure out why you did such a f***d up thing to her.
I suspect theres some kind of reason you did this. A lot of men get jealous when thier wife has a baby because thats where the attention is focused. Sometimes men feel they have no major role anymore as the mum seems to be the most important person in the house. So you went out to prove your worth as a man and your virility.
Stiil that was probrably a physical response to the situation. If you actually loved this woman that much and knew how much shed been through you never would have done something that could possibly hurt her.
Maybe you have communication problems or something if its not the baby thing. Also sometimes men find it hard to look at their wifes in a sexual way after the birth so you could be trying to seperate your sexual life and family life because you want to give your wife the respect she deserves as a mother.
Was it worth it! I hope that was the best sex you ever had to make up for what youve lost.
The poster hasn't come back...I wonder if he will come face the music? Not that he owes US anything, but it would be nice to read what he thinks right now.
The poster hasn't come back...I wonder if he will come face the music? Not that he owes US anything, but it would be nice to read what he thinks right now.
I was thinking the same thing. OP where are you?? Nobody gave him a justifiable excuse for him to tell his wife I guess.
My God................I haven't a clue as to why you did this. She deserves better.
Me either guess he thought he could get away good thing she found out !! yES she deserves better!!! I can't believe you planned and plotted to do it that is plain sick to do that your wife and new baby!! Didn't you think how this would affect your child?
A lot of people do unproductive things due to issues they have. It isn't helpful to abuse them, particularly when they themselves are questioning their own motives. I scarcely think it is reasonable to expect him to come back when most of the answers were 'you're a jerk'.
You might want to read up on the Madonna/Whore syndrome. It's a genuine problem that people need help to overcome.
There's not one soul on this board who hasn't issues of his or her own, from anxiety to insecurity, etc etc etc yet when someone who has a different sort of issue posts, everyone hastens to jump down his throat.
Our subconscious still makes us do things that seem irrational, illogical, or bad. That isn't fixed when people insult us. What's necessary in situations like this is that the person who has behaved against his own wishes seek help to find out why he's done what he's done.
It's a real pity that psychology isn't a required course in school since the old philosophy of not judging people 'until you've walked a mile in his shoes' seems to have fallen out of favour.
Outcast, I see your point, but honestly, giving someone "harsh" advice is OK. I didn't bash him or call him a jerk. I think that he is probably doing a good job realizing this on his own.
Also, the man asked US why he did what he did - So he must have expected some sort of fallout/reaction to his awful behaviour towards his wife and child.
Last edited by whichwayisup; 17th November 2005 at 1:02 PM..
Don't say "My question is why do men feel the need to do this" ask yourself why you decided to do this!
Seems you obviously have some issues. Consider talking to a therapist one on one as well as going to marriage counselling with your wife. Midlife crisis? Bordem? Wanting to see how far you could go and get away with, without being caught? Needing something to spice up your life?
Get yourself checked by a doctor to be sure you didn't pick up any STD's - Not only for your sake, but your wife's sake too.
I can only imagine right now how *****ty, hurt and pissed off your wife feels towards you. If you want her to forgive you - Be prepared to work your ass off and be completely honest with her and never cheat again!
If you are posting the WHY question to get sympathy you came to the wrong forum........ Cheaters that get caught usually want to be caught.
You need a shrink, you need a serious foot in your A$$, and your wife needs a partner in life that is worthwhile. I doubt this is the first time you have done this.....maybe not with a hooker.... damn man you premeditated the whole thing... that is deeply dark.
Nice job dickweed! Tell your wife about this site so we can offer her some support during this hellish ordeal you have created.
a4a
Last edited by a4a; 14th November 2005 at 3:21 PM..
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
Hybrid Mode
