I love my wife. We just had a baby. Why did I cheat with a prositute?
I have been very very happily married for 3+ years. I got out of a bad relationship with a cheating wife prior to meeting my dream woman. Everything was perfect, great life, great career, great home and to top it off we just had our beautiful baby girl 2 months ago! I am the happiest man on the planet, love my family and love my wife with every ounce of my soul!
For some reason I went out and found a prostitute! Not only did I find a prostitute but I planned this encounter for a week, got a disposable cell phone made an afternoon appointment and booked the hotel room. I had this encounter with this prostitute and got caught due to some sloppy web surfing at home. I tried to lie my way out of it but ended up confessing the whole thing. After the encounter I felt like I had just ripped apart the foundation to my life. I made a promise to myself at that time that I would never cheat on my wife again. I felt empty.
My question is why do men feel the need to do this? I have just ruined my life and the life of the person that I love the most in this world! Our relationship will never be the same & I will not be able to be present at all of my daughters milestones, if this goes the way that I expect. I had it all and I can't even explain to myself why I let this happen much less explain it to my wife. I will try to do what I can to keep this together but my wife will not be able to forget, forgive maybe but not forget!
Her first husband passed away and left her with a special needs son (who I love dearly) and our newborn baby girl Why did I do this? How much can a woman go through in her life. I never meant to hurt her, I am a very good person. Why did I do this and just ruin her life and everything we had built together? Why Why Why???
Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 4th December 2005 at 2:07 PM..
cuz you're an idiot? You did it because you thought you'd get away with it. You're only sorry because you got caught, and you deserve everything that's coming your way right now.
If you are posting the WHY question to get sympathy you came to the wrong forum........ Cheaters that get caught usually want to be caught.
You need a shrink, you need a serious foot in your A$$, and your wife needs a partner in life that is worthwhile. I doubt this is the first time you have done this.....maybe not with a hooker.... damn man you premeditated the whole thing... that is deeply dark.
Nice job dickweed! Tell your wife about this site so we can offer her some support during this hellish ordeal you have created.
a4a
Last edited by a4a; 14th November 2005 at 2:21 PM..
Some men have issues arising from heaven knows what that cause them to freak out when their wives become mothers. Apparently it has something to do with equating their wives with their mothers and mothers aren't supposed to be 'dirty' and like sex. Google 'madonna - whore complex'. Then get to a shrink.
Why? Why? Why do people INSIST on ****ing up their lives? I've seen this with people. It's as if when it gets too good they just can't handle it or maybe they just don't think they deserve it all so they make sure to **** it up just like you did.
Why do YOU think you did it. It wasn't an accident. You planned it all out. What were you thinking? I'd leave you. You don't deserve her. Your actions speak of someone with no class who is weak. I feel so sorry for your wife. Too bad she didn't have better judgement.
That`s a good question....why. This does seem to happen to some married men that have a child for the first time. And everything is great in their marriage. So, I have never been in this situation but I suspect it has to do with a certain loss of freedom.
I have felt that feeling when in a relationship. The desire to escape, to run away and be free. Having a child is overwhelming and some times the flight and fight response in some good men goes into the flight part of it.
Really, it has the most to do with accepting responsibility. In short, you are running from responsibility in a most destructive way.
sometimes we tend to forget how it feels like to get hurt. Being that you have been hurt before, you of all people must do what it takes to ensure that it never happens ever again. You second marriage is very delicate. You are supposed to be wiser now that you know what marriage is all about.
As far as why you did what you did? Well, perhaps you have some emotional issues that you are not addressing with your wife. You probably felt neglected because of the new addition to your family. Perhaps you needed your sexual needs met. Perhaps you felt added responsibility....regardless of the reason the bottomline is that it was very selfish of you.
Your wife had your child. Every time a woman has a baby, she risks her well being. No woman is guaranteed life after they give birth. Anything could have gone wrong with her. You must worship the ground she walks on for not only giving you a child, but for being there with you and the children.
What you need to do is really work on your marriage and not only with words. You have to pay the price for what you have done. You will have to help with the children, clean the house, spend weekends at home, cook for her, shower her with gifts, give her massages: DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO WIN HER TRUST BACK and this might take a long long time.
You have opened up a can of worms because if I were her, I would wait until the day that I can do to you, what you have done to me and then walk away from the marriage.
Don't say "My question is why do men feel the need to do this" ask yourself why you decided to do this!
Seems you obviously have some issues. Consider talking to a therapist one on one as well as going to marriage counselling with your wife. Midlife crisis? Bordem? Wanting to see how far you could go and get away with, without being caught? Needing something to spice up your life?
Get yourself checked by a doctor to be sure you didn't pick up any STD's - Not only for your sake, but your wife's sake too.
I can only imagine right now how *****ty, hurt and pissed off your wife feels towards you. If you want her to forgive you - Be prepared to work your ass off and be completely honest with her and never cheat again!
Are you posting this so you can find the perfect excuse to give your wife?
Now thats a good question, and I wondered that myself. Are you wanting others to answer for you why you did what you did , so it will seem a justifiable excuse in your wife's eyes? Only YOU know why you did what you did. No one else can answer that for you.
*you wanted immediate gratification and felt entitled to it
* you thought you could get away with it
* you probably feel, on some level, that 'all men' are the same way and that you 'couldn't help' it.
In other words, you did it because you were not mature enough to think of the possibe repercussions.
Would you have felt this tearing remorse had you NOT gotten caught? Little food for thought there.
Anyway, the only thing you can probably tell your wife is that you want to go to marriage counseling and try to figure out why you did such a f***d up thing to her.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
Linear Mode
