Hello, I've been reading the forums for about a month.
As a black guy whenever I'm reading or listening to something about interracial relationships I tend to hear something about how black women are generally against IRs. One of the reasons I've heard is because "all the good men get taken" which I find kinda amusing. I also find it interesting that I usually don't hear about women of other ethnicities being opposed to IRs like black women are.
So anyway what do you guys think about this situation?
Personally being a black women I don't have a problem with IRs even though I have never been in one. However I remember when I was in college (an HBCU) just before I transfered to a college that was majority white I was told to make sure I didn't basically turn crazy and get hookup with white guy. Perhaps it's just because its not common yet or because in my area (South)white people still aren't really trusted by blacks. However, I have also noticed that even though I haven't dated outside of the black race I have received alot of ridiculous statements just for dating blacks from other countries from African-American. So perhaps its not even really about race.
Im a brown beauty and I dont have any problem with interracial relationships. I think what black women get upset about is when certain guys will ONLY date outside their race. As black people are in the minority in England and USA it may feel like its not fair if white women take all the working black men.
The reason why white women arent as fussed is because there isnt nearly as much white men going out with black women as the other way round so they dont have to worry about their patch.
I really REALLY struggle with this issue. In general, whatever makes a person happy, they should go for it. If s/he is good for you, then be good to each other.
What I have a really difficult time with is the attitude that I have encountered with some black men. We're treated like we're inferior or something. When I ask them why they choose to date ONLY women who non- black, I've heard many of the same answers over and over:
1. White women do what they're told.
2. Black women have too much attitude.
3. Black women don't put with as much as other women would.
For this reason, I physically have to control myself and not roll my eyes when I see a black man with a white woman. It feels, to me, like it's "easier" for a black guy to get a good white/asian/hispanic/other race woman than a good black woman. Just because we are taught to be strong and not put up with mess, we get to scrape the bottom of the barrell? I think we get a raw deal.
Few non black men really date black women. So if black men aren't dating black women, then, basically, NO ONE is.
In addition, from what I have come to understand, black men feel free to date white women but will cut eyes at a black woman who dates a white man. Maybe there are shades of a 'slavery chip on the shoulder' or something. :shrugs: But I've been told 'I can date white women if I want to... but black women should date in their own race. That's just not right for a black women to be dating a white man'.
It would be like a white guy who refused to date white women for some really superficial stupid reasons. Wouldn't that piss off white women?
__________________
CURVYGURL
For peace of mind, resign as General Manager of the Universe.
Ive had experiances with black men that make me feel momentarily: all black men are dogs or have 50 children. But in truth its only the loud, good looking, testosterone pumping guys that treat girls bad time after time usually. There is nice Black men out there but I just walk past them because I dont like "nice guys" I prefer sexy but thats what gets my heart broken.
So to say all of my race is bad wouldnt be right. I dont understand people like you. If I decided not to date anyone my race whatsoever what If I got asked out by someone black who isnt the stereotype and they would have really looked after me! And then I could go out with a white guy that was less than satisfactory
For the record I know loads of nice white girls, so I dont know where the f**k your living!
. :shrugs: But I've been told 'I can date white women if I want to... but black women should date in their own race. That's just not right for a black women to be dating a white man'.
When my black dad got together with my white mother three decades ago they went through all sorts of stuff from both sides. But the fact is they fell in love - and my mother is as firey as any of my black sisters! Me, i learnt from my parents that it doesn't do to make assumptions about people. I tend to date white men, it hasn't been exclusive, but that's just the way i have fallen in love, my black brother has a puerto rican wife, my white neice has an Indian boyfriend - i'm proud to be global and keeping the gene pool fresh and exciting
it's true what curvygirl sez. black guys get all offended when they see a black woman with a white man. "what's a fine sista like you doing with him?". it's all just stupid really. people have free will ~~~~ shrug~~~~~
The problem is that they influence their friends and the people around them... raise their sons ands nephews with this attitude and it spreads. Great for you but what about your black friend who is attracted to black (not white/asian/hispanic ) men?
I purposely moved to an area where there were more black men, and black men that date black women (Atlanta). It doesn't seem like white men down here really dig black women (they prefer big busted socialites).
Of the black men I have gone out with, I STILL have to filter out the ones that I wouldn't be interested in. If that pool is already too small it doesn't leave a lot of options.
As a white guy, I dated a black girl for 6 years and I rarely felt any discrimination from the black community. Actually, their arms were always open to us. Nothing better than a west african summer picnic.
It was all the white eyes staring when you asked for a table at a restaurant that took some time getting used to. Overall, I got the impression from alot of women of all colors that they approved of our relationship. I got the label as the sensitive liberal white guy....LOL.
Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 11th December 2005 at 5:26 PM..
Reason: removed comment responding to deleted post
I have only dated only Latino men (of all shades), save for one Black man. And this exception was only recently after I dared myself to go out on a limb.
In general, I don't think the Latino community has a problem with interracial dating. If anything, I've found people to be overzealous about what my blue eyed and red haired self could bring to the gene pool. Add to that the fact that I have lived in Latin America, speak fluent spanish, and dance Latin music like a native, and I have been accepted with very little problems.
Location also has a lot to do with it. I live in a small, liberal, northeast city. On my block alone growing up, there were four interracial families. I was part of a 12% minority of White kids in my high school. There just weren't many white guys to date, period, so I don't think my peers, regardless of their race, saw it as odd that I dated outside of my ethnicity. In this case, being brown skinned was the "norm", so I was just dating, in a sense, "the norm".
As an adult now living in the same city, things are a bit different because the demographics have changed. In high school, your standards for people you date are different; you are not really looking for "marriage material", and it is not always clear where people are going to end up ten years in the future. The current reality is that people are now looking to get married and there is a very low percentage of educated, professional Black and Latino men my age. Thus, I am no longer looking for and dating "the norm", but a highly coveted minority. When supply and demand becomes such a problem, issues of race and entitlement are highlighted (e.g., he should be dating me because we are of the same race).
Luckily for me, I like working class men and so only occasionally have to dip into this rat race.
Im a brown beauty and I dont have any problem with interracial relationships. I think what black women get upset about is when certain guys will ONLY date outside their race. As black people are in the minority in England and USA it may feel like its not fair if white women take all the working black men.
The reason why white women arent as fussed is because there isnt nearly as much white men going out with black women as the other way round so they dont have to worry about their patch.
I have also heard this complaint and I will tell you the reason.
Black men have no problem with the girlfriends skin color. They just date the woman who is nice to them.
But thats the problem. The "treat yur man like you treat your dog" attitude transcends all races with millions of women treating their boyfriends in an abusive manner that they would never treat anybody else.
But white women do not treat black man in this abusive manner because its racist.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
i agree
Linear Mode
