How do I forgive her?

Waffle Man · 31st October 2005, 6:58 PM

So, I did the whole NC with my girl. She wound up coming back to me and in a big way. She's been gradually trying to re-earn my trust, but I can't seem to forgive her. I keep trying to do this whole clean slate thing with her, but it isn't working out very well. I'm haunted by the memory of what she did... Does anybody have any insight or techniques one can use to "get over" something that can't be undone. I want to forgive her, but I just can't. Anybody? You can search the threads under my handle to get an idea of the details--but I don't think the details are that relevant. She screwed up, she knows it and I can't bring myself to nuke her. I want to continue the relationship--but I can't forgive her.

Harrumph!

westernxer · 31st October 2005, 7:05 PM

If you can't forgive her then don't hang with her.

Maybe you need more time to yourself.

Waffle Man · 31st October 2005, 7:13 PM

Thanks for stepping up, Westernxer. I was hoping you'd stop by... Why don't I take more time? Honestly? Fear.

Sound pussy--I know, but if I walk and by some magic I learn to forgive her, what new mess of things that she'll get into will I have to get over next? I'd rather have her at arm's distance believing that I love her while I figure this out. I know it sound cruel to do this to her, but she did something way more cruel to me to suit her own purposes.

WAITAMINUTE!

Wow! Look at that, she's turning me into the thing I hate... Ain't love grand?

But seriously, I want to forgive her and move on...any idea how to do that? Forgive?

WM

sundrop · 31st October 2005, 7:24 PM

Waffle Man,
Why dont you go talk to some one about it? A professional?
Unless you think over time you will be able to get over it on your own?

dr strangelove · 1st November 2005, 4:33 AM

Guess what? I have no clue what you are talking about

what did she do screw around on you? Ok quick fix screw someone else.. then u will feel guilty perhaps or vindicated..

did she break something of yours?

Dude my ex has done loads of crap to me.. do i like her still.. I dunno maybe, but thats not the point.
PART OF YOUR issue is .. why did she do it??
still we dont know what it is

A therapist or counsellor could help u understand and .. It would probably be good if you dragged her there at some point.

13. didnt drag my ex to counselling..