My exboyfriend has spent every weekend with me, except the last because we were fighting. He told me on the last Sunday he stayed here that he wished we were together because I am everything he wants in a mate. He told me that he knows we'd be so happy together and would have a good life together. Then he told me that he can't be with me because he doesn't have feelings for me. WTF???? Why would he spend every weekend with me, tell me he wants to spend his life with me, knows we'd be so happy with me, then say this crap? Doesn't an ex have feelings for you if they spend all this time with you? Am I wrong? When he stays here he snuggles up to me all night long. Here's something else: I live in WA state and he's been debating whether or not to go to Indiana for a little while, for a break. We had a huge fight on Tuesday and Thursday of last week because of this. I asked him why he stays with me then says he has no feelings for me. He just says he wants to go to IN for a while and wants no ties here. I said I'd go with him! I know that there isn't anyone else. I haven't been contacting him the last few days. The last couple of times I did, I kept it very brief and just told him he was making a huge mistake and that I loved him more than he knows. I am hurting so bad! What is going on? Does he care about me or not?
OH! I forgot to mention that he's been talking to a friend of his at work (male) and they decided that if he goes to IN that "distance will make his heart grow fonder" for me. The reason we fought on that Thursday was because, heaven forbid, I said that some time apart might be good for the both of us.......he was mad because he may go for him, not me! See all the contradictions? Any and all advice needed and appreciated! THANKS!!!
I kept it very brief and just told him he was making a huge mistake and that I loved him more than he knows. I am hurting so bad! What is going on? Does he care about me or not?
I'd say he's stringing you along. I'm not sure why as I am sure you are not as well. Anyone that really cares about someone does not exhibit this kind of behavior. I understand you wanting to tell him he is making a huge mistake, but unfortunatley you can't make a person care and/or love you. Walk away and let him see it on his own. If he doesn't then it was not meant to be. And then find someone that cares for you as much as you care for them. If he tells you one thing and then does/contradicts another then he is emotionally abusing you. You're dead on when you said distance can make the heart grow fonder. I'd take the initiative if I were you and distance yourself from him and let him see what it feels like.
__________________ Your body cannot heal without play, your mind cannot heal without laughter, and your soul cannot heal without joy. C.R. Fenwick
Thanks JohnJohn! Do you think he'll see it on his own? I was always so wonderful and nice and loving towards him. I just don't get how someone can walk away from that! Grrrr! We have so many things in common it's scary! I have started kinda dating someone new, which I'm taking slow, let me tell you! I feel like I'm cheating on the ex because I love him so much. (I almost just typed because he loves me so much, weird!) I am so broken hearted and haven't felt this way in sooooooooooooo long about anybody. I think we should all start praying for each other here, I know I'm going to. Maybe it'll help.
He may see it on his own or he may not. No one knows for sure. I have had someone walk away from me and I know what you mean. I asked myself the same question. They usually come back after a while, especially when they go out with someone else and then that doesn't work out. They revert back to old sources (people like you and I). Unfortunately you cannot apply common sense logic to it. People's minds are different and you just don't know.
But I want a crystal ball answer! I know what you mean. It is hard because people are differnt and it is so hard to say what will happen. What happens in one situation may or may not in a similar one. Why does it have to be so complicated? OMG! I almost spelled a word wrong! I am a teacher! Eek!! I feel pretty good today. I bawled my eyes out yesterday........on all people, an ex ex boyfriend's shoulders! He's a good friend now. Tomorrow I'll probably be crying rivers again............love really does hurt, huh?
Yes it does hurt and I wish you the best. I've learned that it's good to do some analyzing of what happened in the breakup, but if you get too consumed in it and not focus on yourself and your healing then you will only add to your grief and take longer to heal. Concentrate on yourself and make yourself happy again.
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OMG! I almost spelled a word wrong! I am a teacher! Eek!! I feel pretty good today. I bawled my eyes out yesterday........on all people, an ex ex boyfriend's shoulders! He's a good friend now. Tomorrow I'll probably be crying rivers again............love really does hurt, huh?
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