My 16-year-old son wants to marry a 44-year-old woman....

Caroline XT · 13th October 2005, 8:21 AM

I found out recently that my 16-year-old son is dating a 44-year-old woman.

I worry about him - the age gap is 28 years - and I fear he will have a lot of problems in this relationship.

He's talking about marrying her too - and she wants to marry him too. He spends most of his free time with this woman too (also, this woman has no children and is divorced!)

What do I do? This has been causing me stress lately.

Advice is appreciated.

Caroline from Leeds, England

JadeStar · 13th October 2005, 8:47 AM

Wow theres alot of unconfirmed accounts! Well this is just me and not sure what the laws are where you live, but chances are my 16 year old son wouldn't be dating a 44 year old woman. Big age difference not to mention they probably have nothing at all in common. At 44 shes been around the block so to speak and knows a little more about life. At 16 hes just beginning. Let me guess the 44 year old wants to show him the ways of the world? Or perhaps she already has. Here where I live 16 is considered a minor up till the age of 18, so like I said if I had a 16 year old son he wouldn't be dating a 44 year old. I would figure at 16 he already has one mother, doesn't need another.

Jade

933KJL · 13th October 2005, 9:00 AM

Move to Arkansas or West Virginia--it's all fine there!

lilmoma1973 · 13th October 2005, 12:13 PM

Maybe he is wanting a mother figure .. Are you working alot ? Do you spend much time with him ? I'm trying to figure why a 16 yr old would want to be with someone that is old enough to be his mom .... Maybe he is wanting that motherly figure you are providing ..He can't be in love with her!! She is a sick individual to want to be with someone that young!!! Good luck

Lil Honey · 13th October 2005, 12:23 PM

I don't mean to be rude, but I wonder if this post is "for real." You seem pretty calm about the whole thing. I would be WAY BEYOND "worried" and "stressed." I'd be filing charges against her.

Art_Critic · 13th October 2005, 12:25 PM

Alabama...
and there you can be 16 and marry your 50 year old cousin

TUDOR · 13th October 2005, 12:27 PM

I hate to break this to you but it sounds like your 16 old is having his first regular sex and with a 44 year old it is undoubtedly his favorite past time of his life thus far. He isn't in love he is infatuated with her and it us up to you to distinguish the two. You may not want think it is about sex and he may even deny it but I gurantee you that is what it is about. NO 44 year old and 16 yeard old will have much in common except a high peaked sex drive. My advice is to get him away from her and let him be a kid for a little while longer.

whichwayisup · 13th October 2005, 12:29 PM

There isn't much you can do right now. He is going to be with her no matter what you say. I suggest that you meet her face to face.

Does she love him? Or is it just about sex?

If you tell him not to see her, he'll go see her anyway. Sadly, this is more or less where you're up against the wall.

For now, talk to him, listen to him. Find out what it is about her that he loves.

16 is young and I'm sure he feels inlove, having sex and all the feelings that go with it. She is 44 and knows she's been around the block afew times. I highly doubt she is going to marry him. He isn't going to marry her either, just right now he thinks he is.

Lil Honey · 13th October 2005, 12:39 PM

Slip her a couple hundred to leave and not come back.

hotgurl · 13th October 2005, 1:02 PM

wasn't there a thread exactly like this a month or two ago?

I would press charge his is a kid she's an adult.

Pendawn · 13th October 2005, 1:41 PM

If this is genuine, then the mother cannot press charges. It is a perfectly legal relationship in the Uk.

whichwayisup · 13th October 2005, 2:27 PM

No, that's the father who's 13 year old son was banging the 18 year old girl nextdoor.

Gold Pile · 13th October 2005, 9:46 PM

How attractive is this 44 year old? That's all that really matters.

Ms. DysFUNction · 13th October 2005, 10:53 PM

middle age and puberty......ewwwwww....

Check the laws in your state, it could be considered statutory rape. Although some states have ages of consent of 14. Is the father of the 16 yr old in the picture? If he lives in a different city or state can your son go stay with him for awhile.
It would definitely cool things off if some distance were created between the two of them. Either sending him off somewhere to Boarding school or a Foreign Exchange Student Program. He needs to finish his education and put marriage to his middle aged HO on the back burner.
Definitely shed light on this issue to the authorities, your relatives, her friends, anyone who will listen. Its an already doomed relationship that needs to end now before things get worse.
Is the 44 yr old older than you his mother?

Good Luck, also try running her off with a shotgun.

jaye · 13th October 2005, 10:59 PM

i think she is insane for a 16y old kid
but when i was 21 i did a 48y old woman but it didn't last too long i moved on and i guess when he gets hit by someone in his age he will take that oppertunity and leave her.