[francis]

i've just received an email from my ex, he is very upset at having found out that his father has been diagnosed with cancer.

for those who know my story, he dumped me in May but we have kept in touch although I have been practicing NC for a few weeks now.

the email was long and detailed and he is very upset and worried.

as soon as i saw the email, my instincts grabbed me, and i called him. he didnt answer but i left a voicemail. i then replied the email with a supportive email, a genuine concern for him and his family.

anyone been through this? anyone got any advice on how to handle it?

[Outcast]

I think it's only the decent thing to help out someone who turns to you in this sort of time of trouble even if it is an ex. Clearly he felt you to be someone who could offer some support. You can do this, but don't allow yourself to believe that it means you'll get back together. Just do it to be a good person.

[francis]

thanks Outcast, its delicate as i dont want my intentions to be misconstrued by him or anyone else. i am genuinely concerned, and the last thing i am thinking is my own personal gains out of the situation. i dont want him to think that he is alone in his fears and worries. i deeply care about him and can put aside any feelings of hurt. right now, they seem very trivial compared to what he and his family are going through right now.

i just want to offer my support in the appropriate way. i will be there for him if he turns to me. i guess that is all i can do.

[Drivetildriven]

My ex's grandpa died two months after she dumped me. I went to the viewing, where her uncle even asked me to be a pallbearer at the funeral. I was there for her and her family and that was it. Lord knows I hoped in the back of my mind she would realize how much I cared about her and her family and want me back, but that's not why I went. I knew it wouldn't change anything between us, and it hasn't.
Just separate your feelings and be supportive as best you can.