[Final Heaven]

Okay its been like 14 months since I last saw my friend's girlfriend since she left to further her studies, and she came back like 2 months ago. Things got complicated last year because somehow I develop feelings for her beyond friendship. I told her how I felt about her and she just kept quiet, but seeing that she is my friends girlfriend I decided it was best if I just back out. Come to think of it I never did get a proper answer from her until today. Which comes to a point of why I started talking to her less. It's not that I don't like her or anything it just that I feel like a total idiot filling up for her boyfriend whenever he is not free. For instance she would call up and say she was passing by and if I was free for dinner or sorts, we would go for dinner then 2-3 hours later when my friend comes both of them will leave for movies or something. Then there will be NC for 3-4 weeks, until a point where I assume she is bored and there is noone else around or she has relationship problem with my friend. It's really hard for me to see all this happening, and it really breaks my heart. One of my buddies suggested that I shouldn't attempt to contact her anymore because according to him she is just using me and I am blinded by the love I have for her to realize it.

So after some advice and reading through this forums I made my decision and I initiated a 14 month NC after she left for overseas, no phonecalls nothin. It was hard at first then I started smoking pot and eventually I lost track of time and I think less about her. Just a month ago I met up with her again for dinner and we talk about lots of stuff. As usual she talks about her relationship problems with my friend. Then it all came back in a flash, even after 14 months of NC I still love her, nothing has changed my feelings for her. I thought by that time, all the feelings I have for her would have eventually faded. I really don't know what to do now.

[sanne]

sometimes we have to do NC because we cannot handle our own emotions. i know personally, I just cannot have contact with my ex at all. we just infuriate each other and say such horrible things, it's a god awful mess.

[Jayhawks]

You need someone else in your life to fill the place she has. She will only see you as a friend and if she can't see the pain you have from being around her then she really isn't even a friend. When you love someone the feelings dim over time but they really never go away. They can come back in a flash when you associate with them anew. Sometimes we have to practice NC for a life time.