[phyrespryte]

Just wondering...how do you know when a hug is just friendly. Or even a cultural thing?

The another night I went out with a guy and when he walked me to my car he gave me this real awkward hug. Like it was a one armed hug. I didn't initiate it so I think it was probably a positive thing.

Then tonight at the end of class I was talking to a guy I had a crush on. He had to go and he gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Now I've talked to this guy maybe a handful of times and I wouldn't say we are good friends. So it kind of surprised me that he did that. Could he just seem friendly b/c he's from Sweden?

[LucreziaBorgia]

When I'm hugging a guy who isn't interested, he'll usually hug from the side with as little body contact as possible - usually with a pat on the back during it. When a guy wants to be with me, its a full body contact hug with a kiss of some sort (unless he's gay - I had a gay friend once who said he liked to hug close to me because of the 'big comfy boobs' )

I guess in your case you'd have to look at his other body language too. Is he looking into your eyes? Is he positioning himself so that he is 'open' to you (no crossed arms over chest or looking away a lot)?

[Matt88]

It all depends on the person. With me I can think of one person who has no interest in me at all, and has told me so, who will give me the one armed/side hug you are talking about. On the other hand I can think of a person who is the same as the first but who will hug me with both arms with both our bodies touching and who will hold me while we talk. It's all relative to the person and how comfortable they are with you.

[phyrespryte]

Originally Posted by LucreziaBorgia

I guess in your case you'd have to look at his other body language too. Is he looking into your eyes? Is he positioning himself so that he is 'open' to you (no crossed arms over chest or looking away a lot)?

I think I will have to pay more attention to that. I think the Swedish was 'open'. He didn't have his arms crossed and he was looking me straight in the eye. It was still surprising to get a hug. I feel like I barely know him. I do appreciate the gesture though.

[BadBadGirl]

i think the content of the hug lets you know what kind it is.

watch wedding crashers, or 40-year-old virgin, i can't remember. they do a demo of a non-sexual hug vs a different kind. the "ass-out" hug, i believe it is called.

[phyrespryte]

Originally Posted by Matt88

It all depends on the person. With me I can think of one person who has no interest in me at all, and has told me so, who will give me the one armed/side hug you are talking about. On the other hand I can think of a person who is the same as the first but who will hug me with both arms with both our bodies touching and who will hold me while we talk. It's all relative to the person and how comfortable they are with you.

See that's where things get confusing. Usually if I don't know someone that well or I really don't like that person I won't hug them at all. Or I'll give the open hug with lots of space in between us. So for me a hug is usually more than just a friendly gesture. It means that I geniunely like you as a friend or as something more. But then I was raised in a very uptight family.

[Matt88]

I see what you're saying. Everyone is different when it comes to showing affection or friendliness. You can't judge a person by their hug, that would be kind of like judging a person by how they look. You should talk more with the guy you have a crush on and get to know him better, and maybe after spending more time with him you will know if he is just being friendly with his hugs or if he is enjoying being with you