[Lishy]

Hey Peeps and peepettes!!!!

I have an update on my obsession with a guy (read my previous posts for the full story)

So last night i went out and had a great night but after quite a few drinks i decided to text 'him'
He did not reply so i sent another text saying "ok i get the hint i wont contact you again" WIthin seconds he replied that he was just busy getting people to leave the club he works at. Funny how he replies as soon as i say i wont contact him again.
So i then tell him that if he is not interested he should just tell me and be honest and that it would be cool and i would still be his friend ... he replies "dont be like that babe" So i then tell him that he shouul just be honest and that i would prefer him to tell me to **** off then to ignore me .... What does he do? He IGNORES ME AGAIN!
I honestly thought i was going mad before but now i see what he does - He gives just enough to keep a little flame just barely alight. Why does he do this?
What the hell is he doing why doesnt he just say ok i am not interested in you romantically - He doesnt have to be mean but he just WONT SAY IT!
He is just keeping me hanging on a thread probably due to some insecurity issues of his own. He ignores my text until i tell him i wont call any more then he texts back in a second.
This is so unfair of him he doesnt want me but he doesnt want me to stop contacting him
Well **** him I told him i wont be contacting him any more and i WONT!
Now i am getting mad at this guy who thinks he can play with my emotions instead of feeling miserable and down about him.
Why cant he just be a 'man' and tell me the truth! Grrrrrrrrr

Have any of you girls or guys been through this?

[fusangite]

Sorry but there are plenty of male cowards in the world. We believe in equal opportunity cowardice!

[Lishy]

I dont think it is cowardice i think its mean and manipulating - I have been honest with him and all i get is silence? This isnt nice coming from a guy who has told me just how nice he is!!!!!
Please dont get me wrong i WILL NOT contact him ever again I just need somewhere to rant as i have driven my friends crazy with this lol

[whichwayisup]

So i then tell him that if he is not interested he should just tell me and be honest and that it would be cool and i would still be his friend

You can't just be his friend. Even if he tells you I don't want anything more than a casual friendship, you'll always have those feelings for him. Trust me on this, the more you focus on him the more you'll keep on wanting him. The best way to deal with this is stop answering his emails/calls period. Don't contact him and don't even tell him what you're doing. He will pursue you because you've stopped focussing on him...He'll wonder and contact you somehow. That is when you have to be strong!

Make your own closure. He isn't going to give it to you and even if he does, DO you actually trust what he says? Probably not. You'll second guess what he said and then get mad again.

Keep busy and forget this A-hole. He isn't worthy of your time, effort and friendship. If he wanted the friendship he would put effort in, but it seems he hasn't. Nobody is TOO busy, especially if he's online and only IMing you back when you say something that gets his attention.

[Lishy]

Can you belive it - He just this second text me saying he wasnt blanking me last night he was in bed asleep!!
This is such a head f***!!!!!!!!!!

[whichwayisup]

This is so unfair of him he doesnt want me but he doesnt want me to stop contacting him

YOU have the power to stop contacting him. So stop. And ignore his messages, put him on block. Or make a new IM name so you won't see what he writes to you.

[Lishy]

i will be taking that advice guys thank you so much for listening to my rants!!!!!!!

[housebaby]

I think I've already said that this happened to me over the summer. He would string me along, invite me out now and then - told me I wasn't a booty call when I asked....and then would do the same thing: ignore my txts and ****...Found out it was just sex with him...what an ass!

This sounds like you are the 'back burner' girl. Keep you warm so he can heat you up WHEN HE FEELS LIKE IT. Don't bother with him....look at it for what it is: he's keeping you as a back-up...(or at least it sounds like it).

Just move on, and don't txt him again - believe me, the novilty will wear off in no more than a couple weeks. Just realize what he is, and what he's done and it will make it easier for you.

You don't deserve this and you should realize that you deserve respect! Good luck.

[Lishy]

Hi again Housebaby. I always value your advice on this as you have so been there!!!!!
Well i did what Nyasa said last time and outright said i get the hint and wont contact again and POW he regains the use of his fingers and can all of a sudden manage to text me!
Well you are so right I was his back burner girl BUT NOT ANYMORE!!!

I just had to let him know that i wont be calling him (I know i shouldnt have done this but i had to let him know for some reason) So i text him back and said its all good and i get the hint and wont be contacting you anymore - I kept it light but i HAD to say it! (It will stop me ever contacting him in a weak moment)
Housebaby I cant believe I got myself into this position - I must say it has scared me for future relationships cos i thought i had a good read on this guy!

[housebaby]

Awww! don't let this jerk scare you away from relationships. "Another one bites the dust" *NEXT*

Just make a note of it - and proceed with caution next time. You should take what anyone says about themselves with 'a grain of salt'...we can make ourselves out to be whatever we want - and a near and dear (male) friend of mine once told me that guys are really good at reading what they THINK you want to hear, and telling you just that..they can be very manipulative (note: so can women),

Mabey if you take your time getting to know someone (in the future), you may actually see sides of them that they don't "tell" you about...then you can decide if it's worth it or not for you to go further....?

[Lishy]

agreed Hon