I recently dated this guy and he seemed really into me really fast. He took me out and was just so sweet. He always wanted to see me, which I thought was great because I really liked him too. We spent a lot of time together and I thought we really had a connection. Then all of a sudden he wasn't so into me anymore and stopped calling. I'm thinking maybe he was on the rebound and then dropped me once he felt better about his previous relationship being over. Does anyone know how I could look back and tell this for sure, without asking him? Maybe there were warning signs that I missed? He never talked about any women in his life (we dated for about a month).
It could be anything based on what you've written. Too much too soon, on the rebound, met someone else, playing a game. You won't know and it doesn't matter. You just need to move on to someone else. Try to not get attached to them quickly and you'll be fine.
Seems to me that the lad you are seeing is not 2 sure of you or he could have possibly had an agenda for you the whole time. Men are like light switches...there is no middle. It is either ON or OFF!
Don't get caught up on the what if's...the but's....the how's...the why's.
Just remind yourself of who you were before you met. Still the same girl..but just a little confused.
If you want to know the truth. He doesn't seem to care about you all that much if after only a MONTH..he is doing the no contact thing.
Just be upfront and FRANK..and just say..."Why havent you called....are you seeing someone else? I deserve an answer...I was in this relationship 2".
You will get an answer...Ps: what is his star sign?
Silent
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SiLenT PRayEr
-When a man goes on a date he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows.
-Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.
My girlfriends who I've talked to about this seem to think it was the agenda thing. But it doesn't make sense to me that he would try so hard if that was the case. I don't have much relationship experience, so maybe I was just kind of gullible...and now trying to find an explanation.
I think that you are hoping for some indicator that will help prevent such from happening in the future?
That's a tough one. I don't think that there is anything that is going to give you a real heads up on that one. Some guys just are like that--they run hot and cold and there isn't any single reason for it. There's just no accounting for how some people behave.
About all I can say is watch out for the guys who come on too strong, too fast. No matter what the reason, the result is generally the same. Overkill and then nothing.
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"Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with mustard."
"Respect is love in plain clothes"
Yeah, at first I was kind of reluctant and then when I was just starting to really show that I liked him a lot too, it was suddenly over. Maybe it was just the thrill of the chase that excited him...ok, I really need to stop speculating and just forget about it.
bridgett.................this sounds so much like my story. except im a guy in the situation.
the same thing happened to me............she was all about me and then dropped off the face of the earth. or atliest my earth. she ditched me for another guy........whom she recently ditched.
some people are just to shallow to tell you the truth. i have no need for people like that in my life. i was disapointed, hurt, confused. ive spent waisted time trying to figure out what happened......in the end the only answer is she simply wasnt who i thought she was. she put on a good show.
this guy is the same way. i know it hurts. be strong and realise there are guys that wont do this. unfortunatly there isnt really a good way to tell right away. i was as fooled as you were.
People play games like this all the time (weather they are consious of it or not, I can't say).
He may have been trying to woo you because he liked chasing you - but as soon as you showed 'too much' interest, he moved on. Now you should, but take this as a lesson.
Don't let a man know how much you are into him (too early on). At least, don't express it verbally...
I guess this is my first experience with the ON/OFF switch thing in regards to dating. I have noticed, though, that the more interest I show in people in general (not just guys) the more they take me for granted. The ones who really appear to appreciate me the most are ironically the ones I don't care as much about and don't pay as much attention to. It's kind of a cycle of loneliness.
People play games like this all the time (weather they are consious of it or not, I can't say).
He may have been trying to woo you because he liked chasing you - but as soon as you showed 'too much' interest, he moved on. Now you should, but take this as a lesson.
Don't let a man know how much you are into him (too early on). At least, don't express it verbally...
Except for all the men who need the confirmation...
As for preventing this in future, it is basically impossible. To quote a Suzanne Vega song, "It's a one-time thing. It just happens. A lot."
I think you're right on target, unfortunately. And this is from a male perspective. I recently met a girl at a wedding that I thought she was something special. For 3 weeks she told me how amazing I was and how she wanted to be with me constantly. Well, then I said goodbye to her on a Monday, not knowing that would be the last time she would talk to me.
So I get a call from her saying she can't do this and not really getting an explanation. I realized from hindsight that I was a rebound test, and I was the loser. And of course I left a couple pathetic messages that went unreturned. It sucks but try to move on.
commander........................almost exact same story as mine!!!!!!
it went on about a month. she even had me meet the parents!!!!!!
WTF??!!!!
she has no spine. she new from day one she would ride me out until someother guy showed interest in her. actually from what ive heard.
she slept with 2 guys whom are roommates.........one each weekend.
meanwhile the guy she ditched me for is sitting around thinking he's got something special. while she's out being the town bike. lol little does he know. poor guy. if i knew him id tell him what's going on............if i knew her ex i'd tell him he's lucky as hell she left. 6 years together and she cheated on him. what a piece of crap!!!!!
YOU AND CANCER MAN
This sensual man doesn't come at you directly. He'd rather play the attentive courtier, the one who brings candy, flowers, and champagne and takes you to nice places. At most, he'll make an oblique suggestion that could as easily be taken for a mere risque quip. That's to leave himself an avenue of escape, for he can't stand rejection.
He falls in love easily, for he is inclined to be a romantic daydreamer. His imagination becomes quickly engaged and anything will start him off: a wisp of a remembered fragrance, an almost-familiar face, the sound of a foghorn across the water. He begins to visualize scenes out of the past or to fantasize about the future. He can work up a whole romantic scenario out of very little raw material. Unfortunately, this also applies when he becomes jealous. He must know that his chosen mate is faithful at all times. His own fidelity runs very deep, and he demands total fealty in return. Anything else is a threat to the stability he prizes, the security he needs.
Cancer male is very affectionate, and certainly doesn't insist on having a number of women around. ("If you've got one good woman, who needs two?" a Cancer male would ask.) Lovemaking is best for him when it happens at the whim of the moment.
He is intensely imaginative and expressive, with remarkable empathy and an instinctive understanding of the human heart, especially of its pain. He can actually feel his way into your emotions and sense your problems. Loving and attentive, he is willing to go to any lengths to please the object of his desire. He has a gift to amuse, and will spoil you outrageously if given half a chance.
Above all, he wants the woman of his dreams to share his dreams with him. He is faithful and takes his role as a strong male protector very seriously. He is a very masculine man, not necessarily in an outer show of brawn and ruggedness but in his inner strength of tenderness and sensitivity. If you're the kind of woman who likes being pampered and looked after—having a constant devoted companion—Cancer is definitely your man.
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In my part...I have deal with Cancers alot and I notice how sencitive they are and intuitive to emotion and physical reactions to things. I noticed when Cancers feel smothered they do back off for a little while but they usually make up for it 10 fold.
So if you are interested with this guy...heart to heart talks..but not too mushy help them come out of their shell..be really patient with them as well..they get all flustered when there put on a schedule. In all due respect I really do like Cancer guys.....there easy to deal with...and I dont fluster easily....ps: they like doing things @ home.
So give it a try....invite him over for a home cooked dinner...make sure the HOME is really cozy...and also....buy him a tooth brush or something to signify that you like him in your home.
I don't know..it's worked for me..Ive dated 6 cancer guys...and there still fallowing me around lol.
Ps: I usually buy a tooth brush for guys that I am in a relationship with to show that they can come over unexspected and spend the night...and that..I have something for them in my home..specially for them.
It kind of shows the guy...that you have a small space in your home for them.
It's my way of saying."I like you around...in my home...and if you want to spend the night..you have a tooth brush for you...specially for you"
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
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