I had a couple of affairs. I never thought I would but I did.

My husband was my first and he was verbally and physically abusive to me. He did methamphetamine, alcohol, pot, you name it he did it.

I felt awful. He kept telling me I was worthless. And up to the affair, I really loved my husband despite all he had done.

But after he called me whore in front of the house for everyone to hear, not to mention with his mother applauding him (she is some piece of work too), I snapped.

Over the years I had many guys who had wanted to date me and I just finally gave in.

In hindsite, I was looking for more then an affair. I was looking for love and connection. I didn't find those.

What I did find was the realization that I didn't have to be alone. Up to that point I had felt my husband was the only one I should be with. After that, I felt there were alternatives.

It was a good thing for me.

[Scott S]

Originally Posted by Kiley

[SNIP] After that, I felt there were alternatives.

One of them exiting the relationship, I trust?

Ordinarily I do not condone extramarital affairs, & I don't in this case. It really isn't helping, in fact may only be exacerbating an already bad situation.

The relationship you describe is the sort that neither you nor anyone else should be in, & if he didn't make immediate, substantial, and permanent changes, then you would need to leave, for your own safety & well-being.

YOU SOUND TO BE VERY DISBALANCED PERSON.
do you have any dream other than wanting for bodily love? There are so mnay ways a person can fulfil his/her beautiful life.

TRY TO SEEK COUNCILLOR HOW TO GET AWAY FROM THIS ADDICTION.

LOVE ADDICTION MORE DANGEROUS THAN ALCOHOLISM/DRUG.