i am getting the feeling that the way i act is causing problems for me and my girlfriend, it just doesnt seem like i can do anything correctly when it is her time of month. since i dont possess a handbook or set of guidelines to follow, i figured i would ask the people of the world what they think. just how should i act when she is going through this time so that i dont risk making things worse?
any and ALL advice is appreciated, i will sift through it and formulate a plan of action. i might have to change some of my current behaviors and i might just have to learn to tolerate some of hers, but she is the most important person to me and i will do anything that i have to make things work. thanks in advance.
What happens during those times of the month? How does she treat you?
The thing is, even though hormones can and DO take over, (I speak for myself on this one...Not answering this for all women...) she still has some control over what comes out of her mouth and how she acts. During those times she should be alone. Just let her do her thing. Even if that means you hang out with your buddies for afew days on and off.
All I know is I tell my husband if I'm feelin' grumpy and give him warning...That doesn't happen too often but sometimes I DO feel bitchy and he respects that...Now, if he plays around for a laugh, (which he loves to do at times...) I know he doesn't mean anything by it, he's just trying to make me feel better, though if I get grumpy with him he can't and isn't allowed to take it personally. Kinda, you play with the Bull, Ya get the Horns ...
You shouldn't have to walk on egg shells constantly, but you can change afew things that could set her off. Be more considerate of eachother...I hope she gives you the same kind of consideration you're looking to give to her. I think it's neat that you're posting here and asking for help on the this situation of yours...Many men wouldn't.
it just seems that when i try to make her smile or do something nice for her to make her feel better that its harder to get the end result i wanted. like what i do isnt enough. and she has said that she gets very irrational during this time and that she has even thought that she hates me but then when it stops and things clear up she looks back and laughs at the stupidity of some of the things she thought up.
so you think the best thing to do is give her space, and avoid being around her too much during this time??? and any time that i do spend with her, if she gets upset i shouldnt take offense at it?
what else would i do, i mean... i love her and i wouldn't feel right if i didn't do everything i could to make things work.
Oh boy, aren't you a sweet and understanding boyfriend! She's a lucky lady indeed.
I think you're already doing all the right things. Sometimes just saying to her that you understand that she's feeling yucky,grumpy and tense -- acknowledge how she feels -- can make a world of difference. Ask her if there's anything you can do to ease her tension, such as a back rub, cooking dinner, or bringing her a supply of chocolate. If she snaps at you, calmy tell her that although you love and care for her, you don't want to be a punching-bag of sorts, and ask if she'd rather be alone.
Hormones are powerful drugs. Some women experience worse psychological/physical symptoms than others. There are plenty of medications and treatments that really help ease the pain and irritability. Perhaps when aunt flow isn't visiting, and she is her normal self, it would be a good time to suggest to her that she talk to her doctor about her symptoms because you don't want hormones to come between the two of you.
If she's suffering from a lot of pain from cramps, there's one thing that you can suggest to her. A couple of years ago I read an article that really helped. It said that the hormone called prostaglandin is responsible for the contraction-like cramping in the uterus. Once prostaglandin is released, it is hard to stop the the cramps throughout the entire menstrual cycle. The article said that the most effective way to prevent cramping in the first place is to begin taking an anti-prostaglandin drug (Aleve is one of the best) at least 2-3 days before the period starts, and continue taking it every day until the end of the cycle. This really was the best remedy I've ever found. Less pain means less grumpyness.
hmm, so start taking the pain killers for cramps a few days in advance... how often? she cant do that right now cuz she just found out she has a small ulcer and she cant take anything except acetamenophen based pain killers but maybe when she is healed of that she could try it out, thanks.
Well, I'm no doctor, but my understanding of acetamenophen is that it is also an anti-prostaglandin....although not as strong as some others. The main thing is to prevent the release of the prostaglandin hormones in the first place, since that is what causes the cramping. That's why it's suggested to begin taking the meds a few days prior to the actual start of the period. I have tried it with Tylenol and and Excedrin and had good results.
Well, I'm no doctor, but my understanding of acetamenophen is that it is also an anti-prostaglandin....although not as strong as some others. The main thing is to prevent the release of the prostaglandin hormones in the first place, since that is what causes the cramping. That's why it's suggested to begin taking the meds a few days prior to the actual start of the period.
how many times a day do you take the pills when you do this???
so you think the best thing to do is give her space, and avoid being around her too much during this time??? and any time that i do spend with her, if she gets upset i shouldnt take offense at it?
That's exactly what you do.
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she doesnt want to use anything except pain killers for the cramps, she wants to deal with it her self and i admire her strength.
It's not 'strength'; it's stupidity. It's like saying you'll keep walking on a broken leg. You aren't helping anything by avoiding help and you can be hurting things.
Tell her to at least talk to her doctor. Most docs these days are up on the latest treatments which include things like vitamins and food supplements like soy if she refuses meds.
It's not 'strength'; it's stupidity. It's like saying you'll keep walking on a broken leg. You aren't helping anything by avoiding help and you can be hurting things.
Tell her to at least talk to her doctor. Most docs these days are up on the latest treatments which include things like vitamins and food supplements like soy if she refuses meds.
well maybe so, but she still wont go for solution like that, she refuses to throw pills at this problem she says its silly and weak. i believe her main reasoning for this though is that alot of the pills can have side-effects and she doesnt want to deal with any of that.
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how a man should act during that time of month
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