How long do rebound relationships usually last? Do they turn into something serious?

too_risky · 18th August 2005, 12:09 AM

What if you lost your love because you took them for granted and they got sick of it and moved on. Then you did the usual stupid stuff like begging, pleading, justifying etc to get them back and it didn't work. Then you did no contact not to get over them but to improve yourself and make changes in your life to make the relationship better. What if they continued to stay in that other relationship while you were in no contact improving yourself? What if they get over you and won't give you another chance? It's a rebound relationship and I realize it's my fault and I have to let it play itself out as it may. I'm just afraid that he might get over me (he loved me deeply and I broke his heart when I treated him indifferently). I'm afraid he will move in with this girl or worse yet make a rash decision to marry her or something. Any advice? Continue no contact and see if he calls? How long does this usually take? Anyone ever been in a similar situation?

Merin · 18th August 2005, 1:04 PM

What you view as a rebound relationship may not be so..

The reason being.. you said you did not treat him as well as you should've in the relationship you shared with him, and often times when people are being mistreated or negleted in the relationship they will begin to withdraw themselves from it.. even if you didn't see it happening..

It is possible your now EXBF started removing himself (so to speak) from the relationship he had with you long before it actually ended, which put him in a place of being more ready than you might see now for him to move onto another relationship and do well.

No saying this is what happend, but yeah.. it's a possibility.

At this point he is with someone else and as much as that hurts you now, my advice would be to continue with NC to help YOU get past the relationship you had with him and in a better position to also move on with your life.

Good Luck

lindya · 18th August 2005, 1:04 PM

The key here is that you've improved aspects of yourself and your life in order to become a better person to have a relationship with. I don't know anything about your ex and his new situation, but I would guess that all that effort won't be wasted...and the next relationship you get into (whether it's with him or someone else), it's going to be a lot better than the last one.

If he's happy in his new relationship, then I guess the next thing you need to work on about yourself is the ability to feel happy for him. Easier said than done, I know.

brittanyjean259 · 11th October 2005, 1:28 PM

how is any one else going to know if he was moving on while yall were together..eather way

they still might have feelings just are more tempted to move on

AltplanB · 30th November 2005, 9:34 PM

wow my situation is very similar. I lost my love because she didn't like that i wasn't motivated about anything. I pleaded to get her back told her i was gonna make all sorts of changes if it would mean that she would give me a second chance but she said that she was happy for me and that she didn't see us getting back together. Now shes got some other guy that shes replaced me with (he looks exactly like me) and is rebounding with him. I guess im secretly waiting for the 4 month mark when she might miss me enough to call me.

jacked17 · 1st December 2005, 1:34 PM

From reading a lot of the stories on here I think rebound relationships have to be looked at on a case by case basis. Some people who jump right into a relationship have it end up being a long term thing. Other people jump into them only to realize that they miss their ex. I think it all depends on the person who's in the relationship. In the meantime there's usually nothing you can do except what my mother says which is time, distance and silence.