Wedding Jitters or Season of Change??

UltimateZen · 5th August 2005, 12:58 PM

Alright here it is: My fiancé and I are 8 days away from our wedding. My concern is that we have been arguing quite a bit these past two weeks, some of the arguments even ending up with us not talking to each other for a couple of hours. Most of them are stupid arguments. Last night for instance, we got pissed at each other because the cutting board was put in the sink by her and I took it out and placed it back on the counter as I was washing other dishes. 3 hours later we were still not talking. Before we went to sleep I asked: What are we fighting about again? We laughed and just agreed it was ridiculous. The other arguments have been strictly related to the wedding. I feel that I just want this wedding to be done so I can enjoy our new lives together.

My question is, are these fights over the smallest stupidest things the result of repressed nervousness? Are these normal pre-wedding jitters and we are just taking it out on one another because we are so close? Everything else is perfect in our relationship, but one thought that has crossed my mind is that I have heard that women change quite a bit after marriage....is this a sign of the coming season of change in my future wife?

Would love to hear some feedback on those who have gone through this....

Outcast · 5th August 2005, 2:55 PM

How long have you known her? How long have you lived together?

UltimateZen · 5th August 2005, 3:09 PM

Known her 20 years. Lived with her for almost 2 years.

Outcast · 5th August 2005, 3:14 PM

Then I doubt much she's changing, or rather that you're discovering things you didn't know about her, because that's what happens when people marry and think someone has 'changed'.

By this point, you two should know enough about each other to know you're suited. It's just all the stress of pulling off a big event that's getting to her (and likely you too).

Quote:

Before we went to sleep I asked: What are we fighting about again? We laughed and just agreed it was ridiculous.

I suggest you talk to her about this and try to agree to alleviate stress by using humour - just as you did in that case. If, when things are getting tense, one of you can pull away enough to get perspective back, you can help the other to do so, too.