I think I'm bicurious and I don't know what to do!

Mar33n · 28th July 2005, 1:20 AM

Hey I'm new here.. a site I used to post on just mysteriously disappeared yesterday (ikissgirls.org.. anybody know what happened to it?) and I really need a place where I can write and get advice..

This is kind of hard cuz at the old forum I had a thread going for months now about my best friend and I who I can't tell whether or not I have feelings for.

I'm 17. Became friends with this girl a year and a half ago. We're best friends. Inseparable for the most part. I've always identified as straight.. so did she until recently. Before I knew she was questioning, I had this strange infatuation with her. So much has happened I barely remember how I felt back then. I just know I was intrigued by her. She's VERY VERY VERY flirty. With guys AND girls. The flirty attention she gave me was a lot of fun to me and she still does it to this day and I think that's what got me interested. Recently she started identifying as Bi. Because she knows she is very attracted to girls as well. She doesn't want a relationship with them but she is attracted to them. This is exactly how I feel but I've never told her!

Sooo much has happened between us recently though. Just today so much happened! That's why I need a place to talk about it! lol... like we went swimming in this pond behind her house. We'd never done this before but we're floating around. Nobody's around.. she swam up to me and hugged me and wrapped herself around me and put her face write up in mine and she'd just stare.. and we'd just talk like that and then she kept kissing me on the cheek like she always does.. and she came really close to my mouth at one point but went off to the side so I kissed her back like that. And her new thing is.. she licks me. Like all the time! I don't mind but I always pretend to be grossed out. So she kept doing that too..

Gosh I don't know! Anybody who would watch us would definitely say we're gay. We were at a restaurant tonight (we just got drinks) and we decided it would be funny to tell our mutual best friend that we started a relationship while she was on vacation, and that we now had feelings for each other and what not. We just kept talking about how funny it would be and all that..

I'm sorry this is so long there's just SOOO much. There's no way I could write it all down. I would say something to her but I love our friendship too much to risk ruining it! I don't know what to do anymore

quankanne · 28th July 2005, 1:28 AM

I would say something to her but I love our friendship too much to risk ruining it!

I think this is probably a person's biggest concern, whether that friend is the opposite sex or not: how do you help that relationship develop into something deeper, yet protect it from fallout should the romantic aspect not work?

you're going to need to decide if you really do want to pursue something with her romantically, or just keep it friends. I've never dated or got involved with friends because the thought of crossing that line (boys you hang out with versus boys you boink) was just too strange. Sometimes it's just best to not mix the two, no matter how interested you are in that friend, because the relationship cannot handle the change.

Rosalind · 28th July 2005, 2:00 AM

So am I understanding this correctly?...you are a bi-curious female but never mentioned it to your best girlfriend who is now identifying herself as bi...

Outcast · 28th July 2005, 2:15 AM

Your old site is probably just down for maintenance or has had a crash. Not trying to drive you away but just so you won't worry too much..

Mar33n · 28th July 2005, 8:32 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Rosalind
So am I understanding this correctly?...you are a bi-curious female but never mentioned it to your best girlfriend who is now identifying herself as bi...

Yup, pretty much. It's strange cuz things like this usually don't work out for me! Heh =P

IhavenoFREAKINclue · 28th July 2005, 8:49 AM

If you know she's Bi, then what's the problem? Its not like you have feeling and your friend is straight. Make a move. You know she wouldn't mind. And you guys can be Friends with Benefits! If friendship is what your worried about, then I would talk to your friend and give her the option of not pursuing this in order to save a great friendship. Who knows, your friend might be so excited that YOUR the one she's hooking up with. Better you than anybody else. Kiss her. It could work out for the best! Good luck hun!

whichwayisup · 28th July 2005, 10:47 AM

Next time she licks you, lick her back on the cheek. Laugh about it. When she kisses you near the mouth, move your head so she ends up kissing your lips. You'll know pretty fast if something will happen. She kisses you, kiss her back. Go with the flow and explore it.

Start talking about sex with her, I know it's dumb, but play that game truth or dare. Who knows what could be said or done ... Hmmm, know what I mean.

Good luck and keep posting. If that other site comes back up online, definately post back and let us know what happened!

centered · 28th July 2005, 1:37 PM

I think it's pretty normal for women your age to explore their sexuality. Most of my friends have shared stories of their teenage adventures or brief flirtations with another women. Only a few (now in their 30s and 40s) identify as lesbian or bi -- but *all* of them wanted to explore this in their teens.

Consider it a part of your education and of growing up. In some cultures, it's even encouraged that young women learn about their sexuality from other women. Men don't seem particularly threatened by the thought that their future bride may have learned her technique from her best friend

Be open and honest with your friend, keep it lighthearted, and your friendship will endure.

Mar33n · 28th July 2005, 1:37 PM

Well we do talk about sex, a LOT! She's always asking me about stuff when I'm not any more experienced than she is. She's asked me if I've ever had an orgasm before and I'm embarassed to say that I have so I lied. Because I just sort of smiled and said "why do you ask?" and she looked shocked and said OMG really?!?!?! I was like "No no I haven't! Why have you?" and she was like "no!" so I'm all embarased about that... but that's besides the point.

Neither of us are really interested in having sex with a female. I know I could never do it and she's made it clear that she couldn't either. But she's made out with a girl before (and really enjoyed it!) and I would definitely like to try. I think about it a lot. It just seems like fun and exciting.

We have kissed on the lips before.. but we were both tipsy. It was just a quick kiss. It was cool though. We were both sitting on the floor and I was sitting with my legs overlapping hers and she kissed me on the knee and then just came up in my face and came in to kiss me on the mouth and I kissed back! I was like, wow! lol.

I'm just scared that if I talk to her about it she'll be like.. freaked out and never wanna talk to me again. I mean yes she's giving me all these signs and if I were some sort of completely straight-laced girl I'd be terrified of her and I'm sure she knows that. She doesn't act like that with anyone but me. But she's been known to lead people on who she doesn't like also. She does it to guys ALL the time. I watch her flirt and flirt and flirt and then say she has no interest in them.

centered · 28th July 2005, 1:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mar33n
But she's been known to lead people on who she doesn't like also. She does it to guys ALL the time. I watch her flirt and flirt and flirt and then say she has no interest in them.

Tapping into your sexual power, and learning about your female power, is pretty potent stuff. Learning to flirt, the thrill of getting a reaction, and the curiosity about what it is that we women do to get attention.... It's a rush at that age.

It could be you and she are both feeling that rush as part of your own curiosity, and as friends you feel safe exploring together. I think WWIU gave you some good advice -- you'll know pretty quickly if it will lead anywhere. And if it does or doesn't, you will still have an answer to some your questions.

clandestinidad · 28th July 2005, 2:59 PM

I might be wrong in assuming this, but i doubt your friendship would be ruined if yall played around. For some reason it seems Muuuch more likely that a male-female friendship would be ruined, rather than one between females....and especially a relationship that sounds as good as yours......go for it...slowly.....when she's ever wrapped up around you, kissing you, staring at you, etc tell her that you HAVE had an orgasm. It will probably lead to something deeper

Mar33n · 28th July 2005, 9:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by kat23
I might be wrong in assuming this, but i doubt your friendship would be ruined if yall played around. For some reason it seems Muuuch more likely that a male-female friendship would be ruined, rather than one between females....and especially a relationship that sounds as good as yours......go for it...slowly.....when she's ever wrapped up around you, kissing you, staring at you, etc tell her that you HAVE had an orgasm. It will probably lead to something deeper

Oh God I could never do that! I feel like I'm some dirty person now cuz she's never had one and I thought many teen virgins had! I was like, oh crap!

clandestinidad · 28th July 2005, 9:41 PM

More than likely she HAS had an orgasm...but noticed your coy smile and silly "NO!!!" and said that she hadnt either. Ive masturbated since I was like 3/4 years old, and always said NO when anyone asked...for some reason at a certain age its not that embarrassing to admit anymore (for some people)

Mar33n · 28th July 2005, 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by kat23
More than likely she HAS had an orgasm...but noticed your coy smile and silly "NO!!!" and said that she hadnt either. Ive masturbated since I was like 3/4 years old, and always said NO when anyone asked...for some reason at a certain age its not that embarrassing to admit anymore (for some people)

I thought the same thing but I can tell she really never has. My guy friend made some joke to her about touching herself and she was like "I have NEVER done that!" and I can tell when she's serious.

6th August 2005, 6:20 PM

okay...i'm bi-sexual..but i like girls more, so, i thought i'd try and help. You...like her a lot, just by how you remember the quick kiss and how you wrote it says that enough. Ive got to say it though, i dont think you should tell her bi or whatever...because unless she actually has feelings for you, she'll want to 'experiment' with you no doubt. I think that given an oppurtunity...like in the pond, kiss her when she comes close to your face. just do it. i know i know, its like the hardest thing in the world, but your not going to die if you do it.
I have a friendship much alike yours. we lie on each other all the time, hug, could kiss on the cheek, and it would just be nothing, just normal. Best friends, inseperable, and we talk openely about everything, including sex. But we don't fancy each other. However....i think your friendship is different...connections are there it seems to me. I know, as hard as it would be to just kiss her...just do it...then stay quiet to show your kinda serious. im pretty sure that after you kiss her, she'll go to kiss you properly. And ya kno, if she doesn't, just act normal or i duno...she wont spag at you she your best friend lol, it'll be fine DO IT, PLEASE for your sake.

Live.Life.