[ck_guy02]

Well its today is day 6 of no contact, emails or anything.

I went to Pizza Hut today for lunch and I went with a friend of mine's friend. She is a very pretty, good looking girl. We went as friends and were talking at a table waiting for our pizza.

15 minutes later, my ex, her daugter and her mom come strolling in. Now they had to of scene my truck out front of the place. But anyways... The sat in the corner away from us. So I basically just ignored their presence. The girl I was with was having a great conversation with me... and said that my ex and her mom kept looking over and my ex was laughing and having a good ole time... I said that is typical and it didn't bother me at all...

Yes I am still hurting... but for once I was strong enough not to get the urge to go over and talk or call right after or anything. The fact of her laughing and trying to be "ok" in front of her mom just makes me remember how immature she acts....

I had a nice time out today with this girl. Although it was just as friends.. and there isn't "anything" there... I really had a nice time in weeks.

In a way, I hope my ex sees that I can get on with my life and be happy without her. But strangely enough... I felt guilty for my ex seeing us together....
what is with me?

Well it didn't seem to bother her at all seeing me with someone else.... and I was happy that she wasn't with her guy cause Im not sure if that would of bothered me.... but... its day 6 and I am going for 7, 8, 9, 10, etc.

The friend I was with said, oh she probably will call you now cause its probably going to bug her... and I said, no she won't.... and I really hope she doesn't......

I hate going through this... but I can't let her bring me down. I have no idea what she thought of it all and really don't care... but in a small way I hope it does bug her.... I am getting a little stronger every day.

[westernxer]

Way to go, man.

[phoenix333]

Good for you for not chasing her!
It's great that you have a supportive friend!

[greenhorn]

You are doing great so keep going. There will be ocassional distractions like this, meeting your ex, or the bithdays or aniversaries, but you need to be strong.

NC is a great thing to move over and as the days will pass you will feel lot better. When you feel the urge to talk to your ex then try to distract by talking to your friends or doing something.

Things will be easy....

ciao

[lvgrly]

Steve,

Im proud of you!! Good job..

[jen_jen_heartbroken]

WOOOOHOOOOO STEVO! Awesome breakthrough.

(although you might want to avoid the pizza hut for awhile, or any place else she is prone to being at)

[whichwayisup]

Good for you and keep up the faith! YOU can do this!

My best bet is your ex was bothered by seeing you with somebody else, which is why she tried to look like she was having a good time - Overcompensating the laughing and looking over at you - Hoping you'd steal a glance her way...

[ck_guy02]

Well..... I gave in and tried calling her the other day. When she did answer... she was ignorant and mean a usual... and I could here her new BF in the background calling her babe and sweetie.... it made me sick...

Its ok though... I don't hurt as bad... the xanax is helping me cope alot better then I ever was.....

I sent her an email yesterday and it will be the final contact:

[jen_jen_heartbroken]

Oh Steve. (sigh) Why? What were you thinking?! See, you never listen to good and proper advice, or you wouldn't have "caved" by contacting her. You make me think you're a hopeless case.

[greenhorn]

Steve ( I assume it is your name)


It was not a good idea to break NC but I assume it would be your last contact and you got sort of closure. I can understand your pain and know where you are coming from.

I really don't understand why do ppl end up hurting those who love them ?

Why there is so much pain involved in love ?

Why are there breakups ?


Those who go through it they only know what it takes.

Good luck, you will be ok one day.

[sanne]

at this point the advice you've been given is useless. you refuse to stop making contact with her for some sick reason and continue to hurt yourself. i'm beginning to think you have a seriously unhealthy addiction to this woman and i urge you to seek some sort of professional help.

[A Fly onThe Wall]

Why Why Why Why ???????????

If I was her I would have a restraining order taking out on you

You do know that is next don't you ?

[ck_guy02]

Actually, to tell you the truth....

I think the last contact and then the email I sent was closure for me.

I actually feel pretty good now. It doesn't bother me any more that she has a new guy... and I am getting use to her not being around in my life.... I am getting use to being able to do what I want and not be worried if she would get pissed off.....

I am definitely moving on.... Sure I still hurt inside at times... but I am stronger now... I don't sit around and pine anymore... I set a certain time of the day to feel bad.. but then most of the day I am keeping busy and talking to new people I met locally and online.....

All of you have been a great help.

I am not hopeless... I wouldn't of came on here today and posted what I did..... unless I was telling you guys that I am better today then I have been in weeks....

I feel closure. I said what I had too and It felt good to get all that off my chest......


I feel good. I have treated myself to some nice things.... like I am getting a huge stereo upgrade for my new truck.... and I got a new treadmill.... the part I needed for it came today..!!!!

I am going to excersize the hell- out of myself and get in real good shape... and I am going to set out to meet the girl of my dreams that will love me for me and will never want to purposely hurt me....

I do deserve better... I never should of been controlled and putting 150% into the relationship and other then loving to be around Taylor.... I got nothing else from my ex out of the relationship.

I have taken people's advice here and I, in the first time in years am learning to love myself... and to understand that my needs and wants in life are just as important as the person I am with.

I am happy I met all of you on LS. I was definately hard headed. I am lucky.

I am lucky cause at times during the relationship... I considered getting her pregnant like she wanted..... but I never did.... God must of been with me all along...... I couldn't imagine going through this and have a child attachment to this girl the rest of my life.....


I am finally settled into thinking, Yes, She hurt me bad... She did me a big favor. And that guy she is with now.. that think he is "joe cool" for taking her from me.... well..... he is in for a big surprise when the initial phony/loving act wears off.... He did me a favor....

I never want to be with someone where I have to always worry if they are looking for someone else, or trying to get with someone else.... I let her torture me.... I was stupid and should of walked away a long time ago....

I guess it took me falling flat on my face and her finally replacing me... for me to wake up and see reality.

That girl will never change.... and she will never know what love is cause she never had love in her entire life and that started with her loveless family.

I sacrificed everything in my life for someone that didn't deserve me giving her the time of the day.


I can take a deep breath... and I actually feel good.

Thanks... and I will continue to post my daily thoughts and feelings... but I can promise you all, that I will never contact again.... I am done with that....

The only contact I will be making is to new girls that will appreciate the kind and caring guy that I am....

Steve

[A Fly onThe Wall]

Originally posted by ck_guy02
I think the last contact and then the email I sent was closure for me.

For your sake I hope it is ..

Something tells me though that the letter wasn't about closure.. It was more about being right.

Closure comes from within not from another person.

Why didn't you just send the e-mail to yourself.. Why did you have to send it to her ?? Never mind .. You wanted to contact her ..

[ck_guy02]

Thanks alot Fly.....

restraining order?

For your info.... the lady that we are both friends with at the pizza place in town.... was telling me last night when I picked up a salad on my way home for work... that she was in there asking her if she had seen me lately.... and was I with anyone.....

This is the responses I get for displaying my thoughts and progress.....