how can i get her back without losing my self-respect?

chump/chimp

i came across this forum and thought i'd ask for advice.

first some info... i'm 28, and broke up with my ex-g/f of 4 years, about a year and a half ago. i've dated a bunch of women (actually 12 of them) over this period of time. a few months ago i started hanging out with my ex again.

we had a crappy breakup, she cheated on me. we had problems with our relationship at the time, we were fighting a lot, etc, etc. lots of issues, and we needed time apart. anyway... fortunately or unfortunately, we still have a great connection...

since we've spent time together lately, i'm starting to feel attracted to her again. the other night i gave her a couple of kisses before we parted ways. it seemed to go well at the time but the next time we hung out she asked about this incident and i got the feeling it wasn't the right thing to do. unfortunately we're on some kind of eggshells around each other so we didn't say much about this.

i'm getting fed up with this and asked a friend for advice. he told me to stop spending time with her or make an attempt to get her back. if the attempt fails, then cut her off. that way i have nothing to lose since i'm cutting her off in the worst case. i'm not getting anything out of spending time with her now, except that i've got more problems dating other women. the problem is that, given the nature of our breakup (she broke up with me and cheated on me) i don't want to put my ass on the line for her. it seems like i'm doing the opposite of what i should be doing, which is to keep my self respect and if she wants me back she should be the one working for it.

what do you think? maybe someone can advise.

thanks very much.