[boomer3232]

I am in a relationship and have been for about 3 1/2 months the woman I am with I love very much. But in here previous marriage in which she has been divorced for over a year when we met she was married 8 yrs but was with him 11yrs. He emotionally abused her so granted to say when I pay her a complement its hard for her to believe it...Her bitterness and negative attitude seems to be there alot.
Can someone love someone else if they don’t like them selves? Now for my part due to the insecurities of her past relationship and her insecurities with her appearance. I chose not to tell her that I was being a friend and only a friend to and old girlfriend...so dumby me lied to her about the things I was doing when we first met.
A girl I was seeing off and on for sex mainly…… contacted me about two weeks prior to me meeting my current girlfriend...me and the x were broke up when she contacted me no sex...and told me her mother was dying of terminal cancer having gone through this ordeal my self I could very much relate to her pain. Well long story short I meet my new girlfriend and fell in love and have not slept with anyone else...but I did go to my x's house several times while me and my current girlfriend were dating to be there for here with her mother that’s all overnight I might add....well the x found out about the current and called the current girlfriend and filled her head with lies!!!....so my current girlfriend feels betrayed...Rather then getting mad and denying like I did at first I calmed downed and realized I love this woman and if she can forgive me I will do what it takes to make it work...well my current girlfriend is having a hard time some days she talks to me and others mostly now she is defensive and wont tell me whats on her mind she hangs up on me curses at me...and when I keep trying to finally pull it out of her...which takes a while then its her insecurities that are eating at her...well with all that I have done is added fuel to the fire that already exsited right?
Here is some history on me...I am college educated...1 yr on my masters done in computers...I work in the computer field, I workout, play golf, read , and for the most part am a pretty positive person....now my skeletons in which I have told my current girlfriend everything...so here it goes..First is it true that a woman with a low self esteem only attract bad boys ex con and they shouldn’t be with them??? Well everyone I am an ex con white collar crime due to a gambling problem and I have been in recovery for 3 yrs ...but I have been to jail a few times in the past 15 yrs....3 to be exact...the longest amount I did on the state work program was 36 months....I went to work every day in the public...but everyone new I was an inmate...so my current girlfriend has handled this pretty good..and I love her for that....but I have been reading self help and references to try to work through all of this with my current gal...and I am finding out some disturbing things....like can a person with low self esteem truly love someone else? Is my current girlfriend with me because she can’t get any better ....meaning I am an ex con...?? Also she is 30 yrs old and I am 40yrs old this doesn’t seem to be an issue but should I be concerned? I really hope you can give me some advice. What do I do about rebuilding the trust she said she would communicate with when she gets insecure…but doesn’t she gets mad and ignores me …I feel like she is treating me like her ex husband where she said they went days without speaking??? I have told her I will not be her doormat…and if she is going to be rude and disrespectful by hanging up on me and wont talk then I have no choice but to move on…no matter how much I love her…. Thank you for your time and help. Is it silly to go to couples counseling so early in the game? What more can I do to rebuild her trust?? Thanks again !!!
Boomer