[honeybunch2k5]

I really dislike my mother,I appreciate everything she's done for me, but I can't stand her.
We are too different. She is just too uptight for me. I'm more of a free spirit. I realize that I'm 18 and haven't bought my own car and I don't pay rent, but I think there are things I ought to be able to do like spend time w/ my bf, choose when and where and even if i want to go to college. I think it's time for her to grow up and let me grow up.

Where do I begin...

Our most recent argument is about me spending the night at my bf's house. I do admit I screwed up (I have a crappy midnight curfew) by staying until the morning. I wanted to spend time w/ him before he went out of town for 2 weeks. Honestly, I don't think it's a big deal for an 18 year old girl who has a job and pays for gas and insurance on a car to spend the night somewhere. She sees them differently.

She tries to dictate who I date. She's mad because William is in the navy, getting deployed to Iraq, white(I'm black) and 23. All these facts together somehow make him a cheater. I admit he's not perfect, but I should be allowed to date him if I want. And supposedly I'm too immature to handle it when he goes away for 6 months. Supposedly he has a white girlfriend his own age. I've met all his friends,and I doubt a guy only after one thing would do that.

She complains about me not meeting his parents. I live in MS they live in PA. We're not getting married so what's the need of them flying down here?

She says the only reason a black woman and a white man should be together is out of love. I understand that he is going back north next summer and this may just be an extended fling, but hell it's my choice to be involved.

She calls me desperate because I won't date the guys she likes.

She complains that he doesn't respect her. Read the above. Would you respect someone who stereotyped you like that? I wouldn't. If someone said she was no good b/c she was black she'd be screamin racism. She gets mad b/c he doesn't talk to her but yet I offer it and she says she doesn't want to talk anyway. She makes loads of sense. Let's see where else she makes sense...

She got mad at last year for not having a job, but she's the one who terminated my employment. She said it was because I stayed out late. For pete's sake I still wanted to have a social life. Then she took $500 out of my account w/o my knowledge for insurance and I thought she was cutting me some slack. After all, she's the one who made me lose my job.


She says I do nothing around the house, but I'm the one who cleans up her dog's ****. Yes, I tell her she just leaves it laying around. I'll admit I'm not great at chores.

She's selling the car because I spent the night w/ my bf and i went to lunch after she said no, but my grandpa said it was ok as long as I left her a note.
I think she's having a problem w/ power and realizing now that I want to socialize w/ other people. She claims I treat him better than her. So what I spent a night w/ him. Was it really so bad. Now how am I supposed to get to work? I make a little better than minimum wage i can't afford a taxi and my grandpa prolly couldn't help me on that either.

She calls me a prostitute, and a slut, and then denies it in front of my grandpa. yet she expects me to obey and respect her as if I'm some kind of doormat. She'll even say i'm out walking the streets. What kind of woman walks the streets at night?She is a lying bitch. The problem is i'm more of a party girl and she thinks I should be more like her.

[laRubiaBonita]

sorry you and your mom are at each other's throats......

as much as you do not want to hear it....you are 18, and you do live under her roof.

now she does not treat you with respect, probably because you do not give it to her. Granted she should be nicer, but why not yOU act the adult and kill her with kindness.

the best revenge is to give people what they ask for to the extreme.

otherwise, my advice would be to move out.

[XNemesisX]

You NEED to move out. Enroll in college, get some student loans, move in the dorm, have your own rules.

I remember being 18. I promised myself I would NEVER go back to that house again. My mom sounds a lot like yours. She was too protective, overbearing, even abusive.

Best move I ever made of my life was getting out of that house and going to college and setting my own rules. I'm 22 now and I don't regret it for a second. You need to gain your own independence.

If you don't go to college then that is a different story. It would be hard to find a good paying job that will allow you to live on your own. You seem very intelligent and this could also be your way of not only getting away from your mom, but also in a way that she will approve of and maybe also help you with. So long as you are depending on your mom and living in her house then you have to suck it up and live by her laws of the land so to speak.

I definitely recommend going to college and gaining your independence.

[blackendangel13]

That sucks that you feel the way you do, but to be honest at that age almost everyone feels that way about their mother. Truth is, the older you get and the sooner you move out, the easier it will be for you guys to bridge the gap and heal. I could not stand my mother at 18 either. I was a very free spirit. At 19 I moved out and we became the best of friends. I lost my mother when I was 20 (it will be 2 years ago the week before Christmas) and I am telling you I'd give anything to go back to the days of me hating her if it meant I could still have her. Cut your mom a little slack because she grew up in a different time where it probably wasn't ok to be sleeping at boy's houses. Sounds like she just wants you to have the best.

[laRubiaBonita]

Hindsight is such a good Teacher......except it is late.

i hate my mum. i dont even like calling her that! shes a bitch! shes always shouting at me!! pressuring me withthe gcses. she hits me a lot. i love my dad but hes been turned against me by her. shes a ****ing bitch. i have a younger brother and sister who she LOVES. she keeps on saying how she cant wait till i leave the house and says how im good at nothing and that she will never love me or consider me as a daughter and how shes grateful that 2/3 (as she puts it) turned out right. **** her to hell!

Originally Posted by honeybunch2k5

I really dislike my mother,I appreciate everything she's done for me, but I can't stand her.
We are too different. She is just too uptight for me. I'm more of a free spirit. I realize that I'm 18 and haven't bought my own car and I don't pay rent, but I think there are things I ought to be able to do like spend time w/ my bf, choose when and where and even if i want to go to college. I think it's time for her to grow up and let me grow up.

Where do I begin...

Our most recent argument is about me spending the night at my bf's house. I do admit I screwed up (I have a crappy midnight curfew) by staying until the morning. I wanted to spend time w/ him before he went out of town for 2 weeks. Honestly, I don't think it's a big deal for an 18 year old girl who has a job and pays for gas and insurance on a car to spend the night somewhere. She sees them differently.

She tries to dictate who I date. She's mad because William is in the navy, getting deployed to Iraq, white(I'm black) and 23. All these facts together somehow make him a cheater. I admit he's not perfect, but I should be allowed to date him if I want. And supposedly I'm too immature to handle it when he goes away for 6 months. Supposedly he has a white girlfriend his own age. I've met all his friends,and I doubt a guy only after one thing would do that.

She complains about me not meeting his parents. I live in MS they live in PA. We're not getting married so what's the need of them flying down here?

She says the only reason a black woman and a white man should be together is out of love. I understand that he is going back north next summer and this may just be an extended fling, but hell it's my choice to be involved.

She calls me desperate because I won't date the guys she likes.

She complains that he doesn't respect her. Read the above. Would you respect someone who stereotyped you like that? I wouldn't. If someone said she was no good b/c she was black she'd be screamin racism. She gets mad b/c he doesn't talk to her but yet I offer it and she says she doesn't want to talk anyway. She makes loads of sense. Let's see where else she makes sense...

She got mad at last year for not having a job, but she's the one who terminated my employment. She said it was because I stayed out late. For pete's sake I still wanted to have a social life. Then she took $500 out of my account w/o my knowledge for insurance and I thought she was cutting me some slack. After all, she's the one who made me lose my job.


She says I do nothing around the house, but I'm the one who cleans up her dog's ****. Yes, I tell her she just leaves it laying around. I'll admit I'm not great at chores.

She's selling the car because I spent the night w/ my bf and i went to lunch after she said no, but my grandpa said it was ok as long as I left her a note.
I think she's having a problem w/ power and realizing now that I want to socialize w/ other people. She claims I treat him better than her. So what I spent a night w/ him. Was it really so bad. Now how am I supposed to get to work? I make a little better than minimum wage i can't afford a taxi and my grandpa prolly couldn't help me on that either.

She calls me a prostitute, and a slut, and then denies it in front of my grandpa. yet she expects me to obey and respect her as if I'm some kind of doormat. She'll even say i'm out walking the streets. What kind of woman walks the streets at night?She is a lying bitch. The problem is i'm more of a party girl and she thinks I should be more like her.

Boy I can't stand my mother. Geez she forced me to quit school just so I can work and pay the rent so when she gets her paycheque she can just go shop. She tells me things like, well you owe me because I gave birth to you, you're a loser, you were a mistake, etc. Right now she is going to marry a man she has never met. And she met him off Craig's List! She's a bloody loser. She has no compassion for anyone, she is selfish and a goddamn bitch! Oh god I cant stand her. I'm usually a laidback, nice and cool guy but when I'm around her my blood pressure just rises and boy do we clash. We last spoke on the phone 5 minutes ago and said "Oh just wait till I get home. You didn't get the $5,000 loan? Just wait till I get home" Anyway hopefully, or actually not, someone empathizes with me.

Thanks,