My husband and I have been married 6 years. We have two children together. We are friends with a couple that are currently separated but trying to work on their marriage. The woman's husband works at the same place as my husband does for the last 8 years so we have been friends with them for many years.

My husband went to the bar with some other guy friends this last weekend. While he was sitting at the bar waiting for his drink she came up and sat down beside him and they were talking. She told my husband that if he weren't married she would take him home with her. I was shocked that she said this to him. My husband has always been honest with me, and I know he wouldn't just make this up. He was shocked that she said it too. He said that he got his drink and went to sit down by his friends again and didn't talk to her the rest of the night. It really upsets me that someone I thought was my friend would tell my husband if he wasn't married she would take him home with her. It also makes me sad for her husband because he is such a nice guy and does so much for us. I don't care to talk to her ever again. Next month is the company picnic and I am sure she is going to try talking to me. I don't want to talk to her. If I can't trust a friend to not hit on my husband who can I trust? Should I say anything to her that I know or just ignore her. I don't know what to do. Thanks

[izzybelle]

while it may have been inappropriate for her to say that ... haven't many of us been guilty at some point or another of saying to someone "if only you weren't married!" or perhaps we've just said it in jest to friends about someone else that we see. if it's said in all seriousness then it's problematic. i've said similar things to my best friend's H and he's played along with it, of course most of it is done in front of her and is all just harmless fun and flirting, knowing that neither of us would ever follow through on it, because we are friends.

taking things out of context without knowing the rest of the conversation makes it hard to make a judgement.

[MiChick43]

If it were me and she came up to me at that party I would mention that due to the disrespectful comment made to your husband at the bar she should walk as fast as her arse could away from you. I would be inclinded to tell her that your H mentioned the comment. But that is me.

[izzybelle]

If it were me and she came up to me at that party I would mention that due to the disrespectful comment made to your husband at the bar she should walk as fast as her arse could away from you. I would be inclinded to tell her that your H mentioned the comment.

and my approach would be to approach her and with a huge smile on my face and a laugh in my voice say "i understand you made a pass at my H! he is a really great guy, and i don't blame you, and i'm so happy that he's in my life."

[aloneinTX]

with that one. My H and my friend had an A, even flirted infront of me. I thought it was cute until I learned the truth. My F does this with most men she comes in contact with. So I didn't think anything of it.

[color=blue]Think a-dam-gin of what type of woman would disrespect the boundries of marriage/friendship. Not any I want to know.[/color]

[Naive]

I would end that friendship immediately!!! I would not tolerate such disrespect to me.

[Sal Paradise]

Originally posted by ~Naive~
I would end that friendship immediately!!! I would not tolerate such disrespect to me.

Agree.....

In general it wouldn't be a big deal, lots of people make comments like "If only you weren't married"...or "if only you were single", some even make comments like......"if I were single I'd go after you." But if its a friend who also happens to be having marriage problems and they say it to your SO in a bar when you're not around, that is crossing a line.

[miss-gonewest]

Originally posted by izzybelle
and my approach would be to approach her and with a huge smile on my face and a laugh in my voice say "i understand you made a pass at my H! he is a really great guy, and i don't blame you, and i'm so happy that he's in my life."

Your husbands have to work together, you will probably have to see these people again, so I'd tread carefully.

Definitely let her know that you know what was said - smile, laugh but lace your words with conviction.... and let her know that she overstepped the mark. And let her know that you will be keeping your eye on things.

She could've been drunk, she could've been hormonal, she could've found out some bad news and was feeling vulnerable... you don't know.

What she did was wrong, but they were only words...