So I have a question, I have been reading a lot of these posts, and it seems like there really a lot of people on here who are insightful and very willing to help and express their opinions...
So I am hoping a few of you who have written in about having crushes only to find out later the guy you liked is gay...
Were there any clues, anything leading up to you finding out for sure that made warning bells go off in your head??
What signals do these guys show, even if they are not out of the closet yet??

In a nutshell, I like this guy, have for a long time... we dated breifly never slept together, came close...but for me those feelings never went away...
So we hang out, went to the beach, he didn't try anything really, almost kissed me but ending up just biting my lip instead... I did not go for broke because I do not know where I stand with him, and I want to keep some semblance of rationality, and for me once sex is involved I am the typical female, with all too much feeling!!

anyhoo, this guy has not had a girlfriend for a long time, numerous people have said that he is gay, a girl that we both knew who he turned down for sex. A few different guys I know, I can't tell if this is because people are seeing things I just do not want to accept, or are they saying that because in our society today, if a single guy isn't banging every girl he can,he must be gay...

so question is, what are some of the the tell tale signs? or are there any? Just FYI for a little more insight, before anyone writes back and asks how I feel or what I think?

I don't think deep down he is, but I am a very paranoid person, and once someone puts a tiny thread in my mind, it's like cancer... so I don't know if I am actually feeling what I am feeling becasue I so desperately want him to not be and confess his undying love... or am I not looking at the possibility of him being gay in order to keep ahold of my fantasy...
any help, all help would so be appreciated!!

[krbshappy71]

Unless you count them being the best two guys I had dated in a long time being a tell-tale sign....sheesh. Then it turned out the two guys had dated each other.....oh lord why did you have to bring this up...HAHAHAHA!!!

Nice, sincere, sensitive, excellent listeners, sweet, creative, caring, liked to shop, liked to talk for hours, gave me undivided attention,....somebody stop me, I miss them already. *grin*

I have been through the same experience. I fell for a guy almost 3 yrs ago. We kissed and fooled around, he took me home to hims place the first night we met but we didn't have sex. His place was so tidy, and he wes very neat in his ways. I remember him saying ' yeah, if I didn;t like girls so much people would think I was gay' I sort of laughed it off. Anyway, so I met up with him again 6 months later, and I fell for him. Completely. We stayed in touch, we lived 10 hrs apart but eventually I moved where he was.

I saw alot of him, but nothing happened with us. Then one night we did get together. We had sex and it was amazing. After that, he left. He went overseas and I was so upsett. I thought him moving away would make me forget about him, it only made my feelings stronger. And although he was very intimate in the way he spoke to me, he was never with girls, and photos I saw of him were of him dressing up in womens clothes and being stupid. i thought it was just fooling around but i'm not soo sure.He came home to visit and we caught up. he slept in my bed but nothing happened, we pecked but that was it. I was distraught and confused.

All his friends hint it, all my friends think he is, but I think when you are so head over heals for someone, you see them in a perfect light, and everything thats no good about them, you push away, and everything that makes you want them ,you embrace. So at the end of the day you loose that argument with yourself and put them back on their pedistal, just waiting for the moment they will see the same in you.

I'm not sure if he is gay or not.Truth is I really don't want to think about it because I'm not ready to say that I have wasted 3 yrs on a guy who was never really attracted to me. I don't really think there are direct signs for a guy who has friends that think he is straight with gay tendancies. I think it's more something you can pick up in the way that he is, and something you feel in your heart. Sadly, I do doubt his sexuality,and I'm sure one day I will be strong enough to ask him, and to walk away from it all.