[curlsdc]

I have been with my boyfriend for three years and absolutely love him. That being said we are complete opposites and have always had little tiffs over differences throughout the years, however, we have chosen to stay together b/c we love each other and our pluses way outweigh our minuses.

My boyfriend is 28 and I am 32, I have had long term relationships, he has not. I believe a lot of our problems come from him not knowing how to communicate or show a lot of affection-he was raised in a very cold household. However, I know he loves me. Although I try not to let it show, I have baggage from my father abandoning my family as a child and from having been cheated on.

MY PROBLEM: LATELY I HAVE BECOME VERY JEALOUS AND SUSPICIOUS. My boyfriend bounces in a club, is very attractive, and I think faithful...until now. I found an email of him and a woman he met at the lounge heavily flirting. I don't think he slept w/the woman, but the email sounds fishy. I showed him the email, called the girl... Because of all of the problems we've been having lately I started constantly checking his email and cell phone details online...this has lead to many fights of me accusing and him not knowing why. Girls I don't know are calling him...they can easily be friends, but I don't know them.

Until now, he has not given me reason not to trust him, and is unsure if he wants to be in this relationship, but we spoke today, and wants to try b/c he loves me. I promised to not bring up past.

Help me I am ruining a good relationship w/a good man! I need direction...

[observer]

Have you cheated on him ever because of your insecurities in the relationship? If you have this all can be coming from a guilty conscious?If not then I believe that you have to remember that this is his first long term relationship and that no he does not know how to communicate or show affection. Are you willing to wait until he learns? Are you willing to be the teacher?

[RecordProducer]

You're in such a big denial! He goes out alone, meets girls, exchanges flirty emails with them, they call him on the phone and he doesn't tell you who these "friends" are, although you've been together for 3 years!
He does give you reasons to not trust him. If that was my BF doing that, I would bite his head off. Why did he give his email address to some woman he met at the lounge who flirts with him? How innocent is that? Why didn't he exchange email addresses with some guy? I can't tell you though whether he is (or will be) a cheater or not.
How can you be with a guy who is cold and not affectionate?! Eeeewww...