[AnneElizabeth]

I'm mainly writing all of this to vent...but comments and advice are much appreciated.

Me and my boyfriend moved in together a little over a week ago. We love each other very much but things are strained here. We just got the internet and I recently discovered his porn obsession. Three times now he's jumped on the computer when I'm in the shower, downloaded it, and then deleted it before I got out. We've talked about it after each time and I've made it clear to him that that I don't care about the porn...just not every freaking day and everytime I leave the room. Last night we had sex, then I sat down to play some Xbox live...i came back in our bedroom and he was on the computer wacking it (but not to any porn). I was really hurt. Today he downloaded that IE Privacy Keeper program and I got upset because it felt like he had something to hide. He says he has it to just get rid of Temp. Internet files and cookies...hahahha that is so not why ppl download that program!!

So...needless to say thats caused some strain. But now I just feel like there is something missing between us. I dunno what it is...we have maybe spent one night a week apart the last year, so not much has changed....but why does something feel like its missing??

Guys, is this normal??? I've heard some ppl say every couple goes through this "temporary suckage" after they first move in together...but most of the time things get back to normal agian....is there any hope for us??

I just find myself so depressed lately...what can I do to help my relationship??

[Brandi Renee]

Anne - you need to read my post right away.

i have the SAME story and there are allot of relplies . Please post to me or email me.

[RecordProducer]

AnneElizabeth, is your boyfriend a catholic?

[New_Wife]

LMAO @ Record Producer! Are you suggesting he'll go blind soon, and she needn't worry about "looking" at porn anymore?

Okay, sorry.

I didn't mean to make light of your problem - that just struck my funny bone.

*************************************

Getting real now: If this hurts you, it is a problem. Whether it is yours or his is a hotly debated issue on this forum - but nevertheless, it is a problem. If it is not something you can live with - but it is something he cannot live without - you've already got your answer.

Ask yourself this: Is this man, as you know him right this minute, the one you want to be the father of your children? Good/bad/indifferent aspects - is he the right one?

[whichwayisup]

This is why it's good to live together before marriage...Find out if you can live with the OP! Good, bad, irritating habits etc...What you will/won't put up with. Things that you didn't know before, but NOW you do.

You need to really sit down and lay it all out there for him. TELL him how it makes you feel when he beats off to porn. At the same time, if it isn't interferring with your sex life - Like if he's choosing to wackoff instead of making love to you - THEN that's a biggie and a no no. Either way, communication!

[RecordProducer]

Originally posted by New_Wife
LMAO @ Record Producer! Are you suggesting he'll go blind soon, and she needn't worry about "looking" at porn anymore?
Okay, sorry.
I didn't mean to make light of your problem - that just struck my funny bone.

What I meant was that people who have had strict and/or religious parents who have prohibited sex at younger age might have created a habit of frequent masturbation. According to some parents sex is evil, masturbation is not cuz it won't get anyone pregnant.
So the men feel more comfortable beating it at porn as they don't need to deal with the guilt injected by their parents, plus it's what they had been doing most of their lives.

Did you think I was going to say something like "masturbation is a sin in the eyes of god"? Well then god shouldn't watch people masturbating!
I guess everyone is a voyeur, huh!

[New_Wife]

RP, I wasn't sure what you were going to say, but being a Recovering Catholic myself, the whole masterbation/blindness thing always gives me the giggles. I suspect any restrictive religion regarding sexuality could cause the same results. I've run across some odd ones, in that respect.