LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Breaking Up, Reconciliation & Coping > Second Chances

WANTED - Stories about getting back together years later after first break up...

Register Community Guidelines FAQ Journals Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Second Chances Called it off but doubting the decision now? Someone wants you back? Let us know about it!

 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 24th April 2005, 7:30 PM   #1
RoxStar
Established Member
 
RoxStar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The South
Posts: 479
Exclamation WANTED - Stories about getting back together years later after first break up...

Does getting back together after 5 years of no contact happen and work?

After a bad break up, several years of no contact and then all of a sudden reconnecting it seems as though the guy I was with for the last 2.5 years is chatting and hanging out with his ex. She is in the process of getting divorced because her husband committed armed robbery to keep his coke habit going. She has a 5 year old and a 5 month old and recently spent the night with the guy I WAS seeing. He claims it was innocent. He is 37 and she is 32.

They didnt work out the first time around - no kids - no baggage back then and now she is going to have an ex husband to deal with and kids and all the reasons they broke up in the first place. Can they make it this time? I dont even know if they are trying to get back together but the whole spending the night with each other has me thinking its a thought in their heads.

Anyone have any stories of people getting back together years after their first break up???
RoxStar is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th April 2005, 2:53 AM   #2
iwishiknewthen
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Red face

i think getting back together after all those years is the exception not the rule. but i will tell you this....

i think lots of people will come to this post looking for those answers because so many of us want to think that after a long time of NC its possible to get back together with the one you love/loved. people will seek encouragement along those lines so they can have hope that after beaking up and being apart so long its possble to go back! they will want to hear stories like that. but i dont think the stories will pile up.

in your case...you were with him for 2.5 years. are you still with him? why am i not clear on that?

she was with him 5 years ago?

if you are currently with him, i would seriously ask him how he thinks his contact with her might affect you guys as a couple? how does he feel about worrying you by staying over night with her??? i would tell him i wasnt comfortable with a past lover and him spending time with them. but remind him that doesnt make you insecure..its just doesnt seem appropriate after all this time.

if youre not with him and you want him back and hes back in contact with her...
you need to open the doors of communication with him....somehow.

if he harbored feelings for her over the years while she was married and shes now free..so to speak...he might want to try to see how things will work out with her again. honestly she doesnt sound too hot to me...too stable. just a hunch.

i need more info. do you and he get along? talk? date? that would help me get a better sense of things. sorry its 1:45 AM and cloudy thinking. all i can say is if he wants her he sounds like hes headed for trouble and if you want him..there needs to be some form of communication....
what is your current status?
  Reply With Quote
Old 25th April 2005, 11:54 AM   #3
jen03
Established Member
 
jen03's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: crazy in alabama
Posts: 50
Don't be discouraged by a lack of posts here in regard to that, Roxstar. It could very well be that those people are happy now and have no need to refer to this website anymore

Things DO have a way of working out once each person is willing to take time to look inside themselves and change the negative that was interfering with making the relationship work in the first place. Sometimes it can take time. A lot of time! And true, maybe people move on, but as long as you keep an open mind, you'll find yourself moving on too. I believe everything is interconnected, and NATURE will present a second chance, you can't force it (once you've done what you can to show how you feel, sincerity, etc.).
jen03 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th April 2005, 12:10 PM   #4
ReluctantRomeo
Established Member
 
ReluctantRomeo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Lost in translation
Posts: 3,210
Re: WANTED - Stories about getting back together years later after first break up...

Quote:
Originally posted by RoxStar
Does getting back together after 5 years of no contact happen and work?

My cousin. They had no contact for something like 3-4 years I think. They've been happy for over 10 years now.

Another cousin. No contact for 8+ years. Got together, now happily married for 3 years.
__________________
That is not me in the photo. Nor is it my ass
ReluctantRomeo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th April 2005, 12:12 PM   #5
alphamale
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 18,991
alphamale is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th April 2005, 12:16 PM   #6
EC
Established Member
 
EC's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Florida
Posts: 3,756
I reunited with my ex after about two years of NC with my ex. Thing is I wanted him back so bad because It was NC after the break up and I felt as if I didn't have closure. And The person I envisioned was the guy I fell in love with whom I had always seen through Rose colored glasses.

Well 2 years later I reunited and we tried it out but I realized I had changed...I finally saw him without the rose colored glasses and saw a very ugly person. I received the closure I needed and was Finally able to get over him.
__________________
The male brain is more compartmentalized than the female brain. Men can seperate things whereas women have a harder time cause their brains are all wired together in some inter-connected mish-mosh.

WHAT IF Love wasn't so hard?? Then what?
EC is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th April 2005, 12:22 PM   #7
whichwayisup
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 31,398
My friend I know and went to school with dated a guy her whole senior year. They broke up probably 6 months after Graduating.

They somehow hooked up again 15 years later, and dated some more for 6 months then got married. They have one kid already and another one on the way.

I think in this case it was being too young to stay together forever and both needed to be with other people, experience life apart before finding eachother again.
whichwayisup is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th April 2005, 12:23 PM   #8
alphamale
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 18,991
tears

Quote:
Originally posted by whichwayisup
My friend I know and went to school with dated a guy her whole senior year. They broke up probably 6 months after Graduating.

They somehow hooked up again 15 years later, and dated some more for 6 months then got married. They have one kid already and another one on the way.

I think in this case it was being too young to stay together forever and both needed to be with other people, experience life apart before finding eachother again.
that is so beautiful, i think i'm gonna cry....*sniff* *sniff*
alphamale is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th April 2005, 12:49 PM   #9
ReluctantRomeo
Established Member
 
ReluctantRomeo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Lost in translation
Posts: 3,210
Re: tears

Quote:
Originally posted by alphamale
that is so beautiful, i think i'm gonna cry....*sniff* *sniff*
Alpha? Has someone hacked into your account?!?
ReluctantRomeo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th April 2005, 12:52 PM   #10
whichwayisup
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 31,398
Quote:
that is so beautiful, i think i'm gonna cry....*sniff* *sniff*
Smartass!
whichwayisup is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th April 2005, 1:42 PM   #11
lost_in_chgo
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: and everybody's asking when you're coming back, and I don't have an answer, so I fade out into black
Posts: 790
Since alpha is huddled in a corner somewhere crying, I figured I'd answer and say sure this is possible, but as someone said earlier, those people don't come here and post as much as the distraught ones do.

Don't pay too much attention to the naysayers here. They're looking for comfort by trying to create a bond with others over their negative experiences.
__________________
--------------
And they say that he got crazy once and he tried to touch the sun - And he lost a friend but kept his memory
lost_in_chgo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th April 2005, 1:47 PM   #12
alphamale
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 18,991
ok

Quote:
Originally posted by lost_in_chgo
Since alpha is huddled in a corner somewhere crying,
No, i'm done weeping now, LOST_IN_CHGO


Quote:
I figured I'd answer and say sure this is possible,
I would agree, you can definitiely hook up with an old flame decades later but you both have to carry the flame (or at least the pilot lite still has to be lit).
alphamale is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th April 2005, 1:58 PM   #13
lost_in_chgo
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: and everybody's asking when you're coming back, and I don't have an answer, so I fade out into black
Posts: 790
That's a good way to put it.
See alpha, crying seems to have helped you.
Next thing you know you'll be buying some girl flowers and picking out rings.

Your new name will be Mr Sensitive
lost_in_chgo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th April 2005, 2:45 PM   #14
whichwayisup
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 31,398
Quote:
Your new name will be Mr Sensitive
Yeah right! I'm sure there's one part of his body that's sensitive, and that ain't the head on his shoulders!

Quote:
you can definitiely hook up with an old flame decades later but you both have to carry the flame (or at least the pilot lite still has to be lit).
True, and that is why my little sappy story about my friend and her beau worked out.
whichwayisup is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th April 2005, 6:34 PM   #15
60sdreamgirl
Member
 
60sdreamgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: i live in the south!
Posts: 42
well what is your situation like honey?
60sdreamgirl is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
The narcissist came back after 5 years to break my heart again! chicoandthemandy Coping 1 18th September 2005 9:28 AM
broke up w/ GF...tried getting her back...Told me she wanted a break...HELP ME! Bceltics4 Breaks and Breaking Up 1 22nd August 2005 4:38 AM
girlfriend of 1.3 years wanted a break, what do i do? showstopper166 Breaks and Breaking Up 8 30th June 2005 11:13 AM
I don't think he really wanted to break up, I think I pushed him to it strawberrywine Second Chances 2 3rd September 2003 10:10 PM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:39 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2008 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.