Jealous of his *sister*: so one of us is crazy - but which one?

medea-fied

Met this guy early freshman year at college. Immediate, super-intense bonding: intellectual, sexual, the works. So even 14 months later, I'm in the clouds.

I know other girls are attracted to him. He gets a shy kick out of it (who wouldn't?) but he's "the domestic type" - as he puts it - and seems genuinely uninterested what color the grass is next door. So even though I'm hardly the world's most confident chick, I've always felt safe.

The snake in the garden in his fraternal twin sister - who goes to a women's college in the neighboring town. They're extremely close in that borderline-spooky-telepathic twins way. (He chose our college over a more prestigious one he got accepted to in part so he could be nearer to her.) So he's always going over there to see her chorus recitals or she's coming here to have dinner with us.

She's never been rude to me exactly. Yet she's always managed to convey a sense of "I'll be here long after you're gone" that fills my soul with hate. But one thing I learned very early on in my relationship with Cloudboy is that you do *not* criticize the Sister. Even mildly. Ever. It's one of his few forays into unreasonableness, but I don't like hearing smack about my people either (only I have the right to do that) so I've usually shrugged it off.

But now there's an Issue. Her Valentine's Day present to him (yeah, they do VD) was a Spring Break vacation for the two of them to this secluded resort in the Caribbean. (They're Rich, too.) And he's like: gee, that was so thoughtful - hug, kiss. (Both held just a *second* too long, you know?) And I'm sitting there like: hello? Remember me?

I hadn't made any Spring Break plans with him, so there was nothing I could say about it. He went and came back with pictures of them on the beach - her in this tiny blue bikini, coyly snuggling up to him with this Paris Hilton expression as a "joke" - and something inside snapped. I announced that I am NOT OK with this and that one or both of them really need to re-examine their boundaries. He got executioner-quiet and finally said that I could drop the subject immediately and forevermore or find another boyfriend.

I performed a strategic retreat for the time being, but I can't let it go. There's my gut - which has usually been pretty reliable. And there's his unwillingness to even discuss my concerns in an adult way. I mean if he's so confident that there isn't anything screwed-up in his relationship with her, why is he afraid to examine it at all?

My best gal-pal here agrees that they're on the far-right side of the bell curve when it comes to family togetherness, but - being the irritatingly practical sort - she wants to know exactly what I need to worry about. "This is, like, the *one* girl you can be positive he's not going to have sex with," she sez.

I'm not quite as certain about that as she is. (I've watched too much Jerry Springer, maybe.) But you can cheat on someone in your heart even if you're not Sticking It In. In a way, that kind of infidelity is even more painful to the cheatee. All I know is that I do not feel Taken Care Of and I am not looking forward to enduring her continued presence in our lives.

Any wisdom out there?