[Shire]

i AM A 20 YEAR OLD MALE WHO IS BISEXUAL. ABOUT A YEAR AGO I CAME OUT TO MY MOM AFTER MONTHS OF SUPPORT FROM MY FRIENDS. IT WAS EXTREMELY HARD TO TELL HER BECAUSE I KNOW HER VEIWS ON IT, BUT I EXPECTED HER TO BE A MOM. AFTER TELL HER SHE CRIED AND ASKED ME WHERE SHE WENT WRONG AND NOT TO TELL ANYONE FOR FEAR THAT IT WOULD RUIN MY REPUTATION WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY. SINCE THEN I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO CONFIDE IN HER AND BASICALLY SHUT DOWN(IE BECAME VERY DEPRESSED, TRIED TO FAKE HETRO,AND A SUICIDE ATTEMPT). I WANT TO BE OPEN ABOUT WHO AND WHAT I AM, AND I WANT THEM TO BE PROUD OF THE THINGS I ACCOMPLISH NOT JUDGE ME FOR WHO I MIGHT WANT TO SLEEP WITH. HOW DO I CONFRONT HER ON THIS AND TELL MY DAD AS WELL IN A WAY THAT THEY MIGHT ACCEPT OR AT LEAST NOT TURN THEIR BACKS ON ME? AND HOW DO I TELL MY HOMO-PHOBIC BROTHER THAT HIS COMMENTS OFFEND ME AND TO STOP MAKING THEM ( HE DOES NOT KNOW ABOUT ANY OF THIS)

[blind_otter]

hey how about not writing in all caps?

I'm bi. I never bothered to tell my parents. I feel like that would be saying "Mom, Dad, I just wanted to let you know...I have sexual intercourse with men and women. I ride c*ck, AND I like p*ssy."

It seems a little unnecessary. I mean, whatever you do is your business, why would they want to know or need to know unless you are in a relationship with someone that is serious? I don't even introduce them to people I date unless I am being extremely serious with them....as a result, out of X number of people I have hung out with/dated/slept with, they have only met....(drumroll)....3 people I was with.

As for the homophobic comments, just say, whatever, that's your opinion, keep it to yourself, a$$wipe...? Or..."That was really rude, but whatever"...something like that...?

[Pocky]

SINCE THEN I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO CONFIDE IN HER AND BASICALLY SHUT DOWN(IE BECAME VERY DEPRESSED, TRIED TO FAKE HETRO,AND A SUICIDE ATTEMPT).

Why do you have to fake being heterosexual? If you're bisexual then you like women, so you're not faking anything. It's not like you aren't attracted to women and you had to put on a facade so no one would know you like men.

I WANT TO BE OPEN ABOUT WHO AND WHAT I AM, AND I WANT THEM TO BE PROUD OF THE THINGS I ACCOMPLISH NOT JUDGE ME FOR WHO I MIGHT WANT TO SLEEP WITH.

Personally, your sex partners are you business and I don't see why you need to divulge this information to your parents. Until you're ready to marry, what difference does it make which sex you're dating? You can't expect your parents to just suddenly change the way the feel regarding this issue simply because you've accepted it as a lifestyle. If you want your parents to not judge you then don't put them in a situation where they have to judge. You know they disagree with this lifestyle and since sex is a very little part of who we are, is it necessary bring it up?

I'm not suggesting you have to deny who you are, but I don't see any reason to have a big discussion on the fact that you like sleeping with both genders.

HOW DO I CONFRONT HER ON THIS AND TELL MY DAD AS WELL IN A WAY THAT THEY MIGHT ACCEPT OR AT LEAST NOT TURN THEIR BACKS ON ME?

Why do you need to tell them? Do you have a boyfriend you're just dying to introduce to the family?

AND HOW DO I TELL MY HOMO-PHOBIC BROTHER THAT HIS COMMENTS OFFEND ME AND TO STOP MAKING THEM ( HE DOES NOT KNOW ABOUT ANY OF THIS)

Tell him it offends you and you'd appreciate it if he stopped making these comments.

If you're truly bisexual then there's a 50/50 chance that you could end up with a woman as a partner and then there'd be no reason for you to make a proclamation regarding your sexual preferences to your family.

[Moose]

I have a step brother who is full blown gay. And I mean he doesn't hide it from anyone. He's a lawyer too, and he's really established himself in his community. One thing I remember him telling me is that when he first came out of the closet, he was sore afraid of what his dad and grandparents thought of him. He told me that once he realized the feelings of other people aren't going to change what he is, he had to make a choice of keeping them happy, or find hapiness for himself. So he stopped caring about what other people thought. He said, "Screw them, I'm sick of worrying about it. This is my life, this is me, love me or f*ck off".

I think that if you learn how to not take people's comments and thoughts personally, you'll be just fine.

One thing about parents, whether we admit it or not, we love our children unconditionally.