[poppet]

Hello everyone,

This is my first post and I hope someone can help me. Hubby and I have been together for fifteen years and married for ten years. We don't have any children.

Over the past few years things have been hard. We both lost our jobs at the same time. We are now at the stage where we are having to sell our home.

Hubby's reaction to all this is to drink and use cocaine. All 'our' friends use cocaine. I don't. We used to go out together to our local pub, until he got barred. Now I hardly ever go out. He came in at 6:30 this morning having been out all night. I know it sounds naive but I'm pretty certain he's not cheating on me.

We love each other but I can't stand this drug use. I'm no prude about it, I just don't like him doing it. I've asked him to stop but he just gets angry and throws accusations of whatever he can back at me. We are trying to budget but he spends all our weekly allowance and more on drink and drugs.

Otherwise he's damn near perfect. He cooks, cleans, is loving etc.

But I'm seriously thinking of splitting up with him. I can't see a light at the end of the tunnel. I had a dream the other night about a friend who I know fancies me and now all I do is think about him.

I can't talk to anyone about this as all our friends are just like him. I can't talk to my family because they don't know about the drugs. I feel trapped and alone.

Please help!

[jmargel]

Get all your family & friends (non-druggies) and contact an interventionalist if he doesn't want to get help.

[NiCoLe20]

i went through the same EXACT problem with my ex. He lost his apartment, his liscense, car and friends to cocaine. he would stay up the whole entire weekend doing it, he constantly was buying it & selling it, and eventually it all caught up to him. Now he's living back at home and has no friends. I was doing it too when we were together but not as much as he was. they dont call this drug the ''white devil'' for nothing... it takes everything away.... he started getting mean and nasty with me and thats when it hit me that he wasnt going to change. I broke up with him because it bothered me so much. We never did anything together anymore b/c he had to get high on it all the time. we started to have sex less & less b/c of this too. its really not worth it. no matter what you say it will not change the person. they need to see a drug counsellor or therapist to make it stop. this drug is sooo addicted its hard for most people to stop. he needs to hit rock bottom before he realized this. if he doesnt stop, he will just suck you right down with him. so i guess what im trying to say is- if you really love him, get him the help he needs, if he wont do it, theres nothing else you can do but to leave.