My girlfriend says she is "giving it a go " with someone else after 2 years . I want her back but...I am asking her for closure but she will not say its over just stop calling and I cannot talk right now.she also avoids seeing me at the gym as we live near each other . Am I being kept as a just in case ???Does she still have feelings I am depressed Vavso

[moon]

The hard, hard truth is she's moving on and you can't go with her unless she wants you to. I know it sucks and it's totally painful and it's just the worst. But you have to wave good bye and let her and yourself move on.

The only way you can really get closure from a situation where a person is basically telling you to leave them alone is to do just that. You have to fight the urge to call. It's not your place to call. I know.....It's so hard to accept, but what this girl does from here on out is none of your business. This sheer fact will rip into your very soul for a while and then you'll just say the heck with it.

So do yourself a BIG favor and stop calling this girl. Just let her make up her own mind what she wants. If she calls you can talk to her, but don't wait around for closure. Sometimes the true reason people break up with us (or we break up with them) is too hurtful to hear aloud or they could be confused or there could be a million reasons.....Your ex might not even completely know. Maybe it just wasn't working for her at this time. All you have to know is that she's not in a relationship with you anymore. A harsh, harsh thing to accept and something to swallow in small increments---alone, with your friends or therapist---but not with her.

So join the rest of the ranks here and post about this, but don't take it up with your ex....It will seriously get you nowhere. Eventually you'll realize you are doing worse just trying to get answers. And besides will they really help you? If you heard her say all the cliched things like I don't love you anymore or we aren't right for each other is that going to really answer any questions in your own mind? No, it's just going to make you feel worse. Even if you do hear those words you'll think...but what about when you said this or did that. It's not use. You'll never feel good about being broken up with (until you put it behind you). So pick yourself up and grieve like everybody has to and then eventually you'll be ready to move on yourself.

Good luck to you. Nobody ever said it was easy!! Love is a risk, the gamble is heart break or living happily ever after. It can't be both.

[kellybelle]

I'm sorry about your dilemma.

I wouldn't wait around for closure, even though it feels like 'there might still be a chance.' You deserve better. A silent explanation a.k.a. avoidance is speaking loudly right now, listen to that little voice.

I would consider myself free in that position.

[lostandlonely]

Its hard, but it is better i think to try and just practice no contact. I did get the closure converstion eventually, but in my situation it was the lesser of two evils (see my thread in coping about picking up my stuff). However i wouldnt recommend it for anyone else as it just brought all the pain back. If i didnt have the drinking problem and the depression then i wouldnt have done it.

What im trying to say badly is that it's easier to hang on and practice no contact, i've experienced it the other way and it wasnt pleasant.

[acidrein_08]

Hang in there, you will find the answers you are looking for day by day. Learn from the past as it makes us stronger for the future. You have your whole life ahead of you and trust me there are many people out there that will love you for who you are and you will mean the world to them. Just sit back and relax and just enjoy being single. Don't worry about your ex as she is moving on and there is nothing left for you to do. The biggest struggle in ones life is finding someone who will care about you more than the world, and though some don't realize just becuase you dated for a long time, promised many things, were happy, had sex, or anything like that it still does not mean that the person was perfect for you. You will make it I have faith in you, good luck and God Bless.

[emotionsmessmeup]

Time is the only thing that will give you closure