[Evanescence]

Hi

K, so I'm giving a 5.5 yr relationship another chance. He broke up with me a little over a year ago, and we've been "seeing" each other for two months now. We both dated other people in the year that we were apart. I broke up with the guy I was dating in November, he broke up with the girl he was dating beginning of January.

So.. here's my problem. I trusted him more than anything. I never ever thought that he would ever be interested in another girl. I found out that I was completely nieve. He says he didn't, but I believe that he left me for the girl he dated this last year. So, there's where the trust issue comes in. If he did leave me for her, how can I trust that it will never happen again, even if he does tell me that I am the one he wants to be with, and this "is IT"? I now question everything he does and says. I don't know how to take anything anymore. Some people tell me "well, he was curious. you were the only person he had ever really been with, so maybe he had to check stuff out before he knew for sure." Although I agree, it's still hard to deal with.

My next problem is that the girl he was with was 17 when he started dating her. He was 23. Now it absolutely DISGUSTS me whenever I see a girl that is around that age. I don't even know what the girl looks like, and I hope I never do, but I just can't look at teen girls anymore without losing my stomach (there have been many times that I have actually been eating, then see a girl that in my mind is what she MAY have looked like, and I have to stop eating.. I feel like I'm going to be ill). How do I stop thinking this way? I mean, I'm surrounded by teen girls. They are everywhere...and I can't stand too look at them and not want to hurt them (the girl he dated started putting the moves on him two months before we even broke up... to my knowledge anyway, so I view her as a huge slut and a completley unworthy person).

Anyway, so those are my two main problems. Trust, and my view of teen girls now. How do I get over these? Any tips from people who may have experienced something similar? The main problem is the trust obviously. It is killing me that I can't trust him. Without trust what do u have right? I'm trying to give it time. I'm trying to give us a chance again. I've been so depressed this last year because of our split, and I would think that this would make it better, but I'm now more confused than ever, and really unhappy.

I know some people might say "well get out of it", but I really want to give this my best shot before giving up. I love him SO much... it is unbelievable. I really want to give this all I've got so I'd just love some advice from people who have been in long term relationships, broke up for a significant amount of time (long enough for the two people to change a bit), then tried things over again. I'd like to know what works and what doesn't. And for anyone who it didn't work for, how do you know when you've reached the point where you've given it all you've got, and its just going nowhere?

You're help is severely needed, and much apprecitated. Thanks everyone!