As a software geek, I sit in front of a computer more hours than human eyeballs are designed to handle. As such, it is not uncommon to interact with people throughout the day via loveshack, or otherwise. I am sure many people on this board can relate. Anyhoo..
Recently I have been talking with a girl online. She seems cool, intelligent, good-natured, and has shapely breasts. We decided to meet in person and she came out to visit this past weekend. We had a great time, and both said we would like to see each other again.
Today, however, she seemed somewhat standoffish. Her flight back was delayed and it took her far longer to return home than scheduled, so I felt bad about that, and she didn't get much sleep before returning to work. So that may play into the resulting vibe. But we were able to lay out where each person stands over IM (for the most part).
The problem is there are two main issues standing in the way of something developing:
1. The distance - she's 2000 miles away. I've been in LDR's where the other girls lived 2 hours away by car, but never anything this distant.
2. I am friends with Mary Jane. She is not. I would not have a problem giving it up if it came to that, but I know she also doesn't want me to feel resentment towards her if I were to stop smoking.
It's only been one weekend, so this may be jumping the gun a bit, but this has been on my mind today. We've both just gotten out of less-than-perfect relationships so it's not like we need to just jump into anything either. I'm also kind of wondering if I'm nuts for even considering trying to make something like this work, but it's not every day that a girl like her comes around.
This is where you wise people offer your advice, comments, flames, etc...
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Advice: I think you should try to find someone who lives within, say, 30 miles of you.
Comment: It's really hard to get to know someone over long distances, even if you spend a lot of time instant messaging. There must be plenty of women in your area, particularly if you consider the ratio of women to straight men.
Flame: Find someone who lives near you for a change, moron!
If shes 2,000 miles away I think you should avoid it. That is a REALLY-REALLY long distance. It would be different if you were dating someone for a couple years and they had to move 2,000 miles away for a year or something. But I don't think I would try to get into a relationship with someone who lives that far away from the beginning. Would you be willing to move to wherever she lives?
i have never been a fan of the LDR, i have been in one, one that hurt quite a bit. we were more than 2000 miles away, but LDR are pretty much the same, unless you are just so in love with her and that you dont think you can possibly find another girl in your own city, county, state, then ok go for it, but LDRs dont always turn out "happily ever after"
An LDR of that proportion is a lot of time, money, and effort. If you decide to go for it, make sure she is worth it to you- for the sake of both of you.
How do you know she didn't change her mind after she met you? Maybe you're not her type?
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People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar. - Thich Nhat Hanh
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Reading: The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins
Originally posted by tiki
Is she up for a LDR? Are you someone that needs love and affection on a constant basis? Are you willing to lose your bond with MJ?
I don't know if she is. It doesn't really sound like it so this may be a moot thread. Yes I am, but I can deal. My last ex I only saw on the weekends. While I would have preferred more time ideally, it was no big deal to handle the seperation during the week (especially since I'm rather busy during the week anyway).
I likes me some MJ, but giving it up wouldn't be a big deal. But don't nobody betta come 'tween me n' beer.
Quote:
Originally posted by Hund1976
Would you be willing to move to wherever she lives?
Doubtful. I'd prefer the other way around as my current area provides the best opportunities for what I do for a living. We also have better weather out here.
Quote:
Originally posted by savethedrama4yrmama
Wait, did you bone her? Was it good?
Let's just say that in no way was I disappointed.
Quote:
Originally posted by savethedrama4yrmama
An LDR of that proportion is a lot of time, money, and effort. If you decide to go for it, make sure she is worth it to you- for the sake of both of you.
The time, money, and effort aren't the issue. But as I said in response to tiki, it also depends on what she's up for.
Well tank, you never really know what she's thinking. Maybe she's confused too- you said that you both got out of crappy relationships recently. Maybe she's trying to catch her bearings. Also, I often get told that I come off as short or b*tchy in written communications, so perhaps she didn't intend to be as standoffish as she appeared.
I think we're all wondering, what is so damn special about her that you can't just date someone closer to you?
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