Hello All!! Im sorry if this post is kind of long but I hope someone will be kind enough to give me some advice, ANY advice would be appreciated. I'll try to make this as short as possible.
I have a 4 year old SD, and I have been married to my husband for a year now. We dated for a year before that. Up until recently we had no problems with the SD but this past weekend things got out of control. Let me start by telling you that this little girl loved me to death and I love her very much too. But this past weekend, every time her dad turned his back she said something awful to me... almost wicked even. My H went upstairs to shower and the minute he was out of the room SD said " Im gonna wreck your house and me and my dad are gonna laugh while you clean up MY mess" I then said, "why would you say something like that" then she continued with her story about how she was goinog to rip my pictures off the wall, break all of my tables and throw everything on the floor, and if there was any glass, she was going to break it and laugh as I cleaned it up on my hands and knees. WOW I was stunnded. As I said my SD and I always had a wonderful relationship and that came out of NOWHERE. But thats not all... every time her dad turned his back she called me stupid and attempted to order me around. She told me that she was gonna color her mom and dad pretty pictures and give me the ugly ones. She called me stupid repeatedly. And she kept saying things like, me and my dad are gonna watch a movie and you cant watch.. or me and my mom play this game at home, but you cant play. OMG forgive me but I wanted to punt her.. but I didnt.. I tried being cool about it, but now Im loosing my mind over it, and I dont want to be here this weekend when she is here.. primarily because my H doesnt like it when I tell her no or enforce any kind of disipline what so ever. Let me add also that this child is not PARENTED when she is here by my H... she runs wild like an animal with no disipline until Im ready to pull my hair out. PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!! What do you read into this'? Where is all this comming from??
sorry here is my add on- I forgot to mention that I caught her 2 times punching my little puppy with everything she had in her little body when she thought I wasnt looking... HELP ME PLEASE
If she's abusing animals, get her into therapy. Hide a video camera around and get her on tape so her parents can see what is happening. Don't let her hit the puppy again! Take the puppy with you if you will not be at home. No one knows by who or how she is being influenced, but it has got to stop or you have got to stop her from coming over. If she is your hubby's daughter have him parent her alone and away from your house.
You CAN discipline her in your home. If that means restricting her to her room, no TV, etc. then do it. You can't let her run all over you, hurt you and an innocent puppy, and destroy her own self. If your husband won't back you up then he needs to take the child and leave.
Is she in any kind of day-care or preschool? Is there a counselor? Can you find a child-guidance counselor in your area? They are everywhere these days. Put your foot down. If your husband says he will leave you because you are disciplining "his" child - show him the door and hand him his kid. He has got to learn that you are serious and that he must support you. You must present a united front to this child. Talk to her mother too -- could she be poisoning the little girl towards you? Does she resent you or dislike you? Is she, or another family member, the kind that would use a child this way? If the girl's mother is approachable then you need to talk with her also. Do not accept this behavior. The violence against another living being -- especially a puppy -- is disturbing. If I were in your shoes and this happened I'd have the kid into counselling faster than a flea can jump.
Thank you so much for your response... I really didnt want people to say " shes just a kid" and that kind of crap. Actually, her mother is obsessed with my husband WHEN she is not in a relationship.. thank God she is right now so all is well at least for now with the ex girlfriend ( sd's mom ) In the begining she did tell SD bad things about me but SD said she didnt believe it. As far as her mom telling her lies etc.. about me now, I dont know. I dont really think she is at this moment because she has a boyfriend now and like I said, when she has a boyfriend her craziness towards my husband and I stops.
SD is not in pre school or anyting right now, but will be in kindergarten later this year. The whole animal abuse thing scares me sooo bad, I did put a stop to her doing that.. but Im sure she will still try it when we turn our backs. I forgot to mention before that she also started hitting me on the a#s and I told her to stop and when I did she said " I dont have to, your not allowed to spank me"
This child is going to have to be disciplined in your home. She should not be allowed to be disrespectful to you, let alone hit you. You and your husband need to sit down and make a list of rules for your SD that you both can agree on. (Like no hitting, no sassing adults, etc.) Then also agree what the punishment will be, and who will carry it out.
This little girl needs to know that there are consequences for her bad behavior. Please remember that you are dealing with a child, who is acting the way she is because she has not been taught to act otherwise. Have a frank talk with your husband, and tell him that he is not fulfilling his responsibility as a parent if he is not teaching his daughter how to behave.
You know.. the messed up thing about the whole situation is that my H hasnt witnessed the rude remarks or the hitting or punching of the puppy. This is all done when he leaves even for a second. Then when he comes back in the room, SD is sitting on my lap professing her love for me. UGH! It's so manipulative. So when I tell him these things about SD he is shocked and doesnt know what to say or do.
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In desperate need of advice about my SD
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