Ok heres the deal. I dated my ex for about 2 years. He broke up with me 4 months ago saying that he didnt know what he wanted. He said he still loves me and he knows that he wants to be with me, just not right now. I have been trying to be his friend hoping that he would come back. I had numerous talks with him and he still does not know what he wants.
A week ago some of our friends and us went to a club. I didnt care that he was dancing with others bc I was doing the same. Everything was fine until I saw him kissing another girl. So I left and he called me saying that he was sorry and the only reason he did it was to make me jealous and that I was the only girl that he loves.
So today I called him and said for him to not call me for a week and a half and that we would meet on saturday over dinner. I told him to think about everything and that the only reason I am doing this is bc I love him. He sounded kind of upset and shocked that I actually was telling him this bc its totally not like me. But he agreed and we hung up. I cried so hard and I am just so scared that he will not want me back. Any suggestions or input? Thank you so much.
I know that most people would say ***k off and move on. But there is just something making me stay. I just have this feeling inside telling me that he's the one. Is that strange? Also is it normal for guys to back off for a bit while they figure out what they really want in life? Do you think hes reacting like this bc of how close and serious we got? And about the kissing thing, I should have been more honest, at a party we went to about 2 weeks ago, I made out with one of our friends. He doesnt know, and yes I already know that it was immature of me to do.
so whats the deal ? he kisses someone and so did you.. Anyways If he wants his space then give it to him. All you're going to do is push him away. He might just want to make sure that this is what he wants.. And I believe that he will call back. You shouldn't have said that you didnt want to talk to him for an alloted time.. Just dont call him. Basically let him see what he is missing you know ? If he feels he is missing out then he will come back, but if he doesnt then he won't. Stang you cannot make people love you and want to be with you no matter what you do. They have to decided that on their own. I am finding this out in my current situation so I am just backing off and worrying about my life. Your situation isn't as bad as mine though.. So I would just wait for him to make the call to you..
I think I have done pretty good by giving him his space. I don't call him, I let him call me if he wants and if not then I dont get all upset and call and complain. If he wants to hang out then sure, but I dont do it all the time. And I know that you cant make people love you or come back. That is why I have been here for the past 4 months giving him his time. I guess he just needs more of it though. I didnt really know what to do. I tried the week before to not call him for a week. But that didnt really work bc after I watched a romance movie, I called him. So I think that since I made it clear to him that we needed a week to think, that it makes me not want to screw up or make things worse by calling him.
And both of us know that both of us did things that caused him to break it off, but I have learned so much during this time and he can see it too. I can see that certain things are different about him too. We both respect eachother more (except for the kissing part), we talk things out instead of not talk about things. So many things are better. When its just me and him hanging out, I can see it in his eyes that he loves me and wants to be with me. Its just that he's confused. I guess I just dont understand how he is confused about the best thing that has ever happened to him. I just pray that he will want to be with me in the end. Why do men have to be soooo difficult?
I think that you are doing just OK....a bitt of doubt....a bitt of the unknown.,...and a bit of exspectation always is the formula for fear.
Its going to be ok, If the boy was that crushed at you saying that he is probably as tormented as you are this very moment.
I spent a week apart once and it was soo hard. There were times where I realized that I couldnt do it without him, that he was the reason of my sanity, my being.
I soon snapped out of that, dont worry. I just think you should wait the week ou,....show him how strong and what a BRAVE women you are to do that. He willl either be happy when he sees you for the date...or he will be aquard...either way...youve got the upper hand..
Thank you SilentPrayer. I really appreciate all that you said. I guess I just needed someone to cheer me on instead of think that I'm ridiculus for wanting him back. I will try my hardest knowing that we both need this and that I'm doing it because I love US. Thank you, now only if waiting for the end of this mess could be easier!
No probleme at all.
First of all everyone even the strongest go back to the ex at least once. I doesnt matter how hard
you try to stay away. Its like an air conditioned mall on the hottest summer day in years. Its hard to
stay away from. All is fair in love and war? True or False. I choose true. What do you choose?
You are going to be totally fine I can tell. Make sure that you start repairing soon. ASAP soon, dont let another
day go by with you love in the pits. Even the greatest of lovers had to work things out. Most of all
agree to be patient and to at least do one thing a week...something special for the other.
Even if it leaving a love letter under his or her Pillow...leaving a chocolate trail to something special..anything...
I know that things like that..always kept my love kindling. ANd men are difficult cause thats all they know...since they were babys thats all they did...now..its too late to train em to be good..lol.
Here are a fiew of my POEMS....I hope some of it makes you think.
{____Unwanted____}
Tell me you love me. Tell me you need me.
Open yourself and show me you need this
Open your heart and show me how to do this.
Ive been lost in this storm is lies. Ive been lost and have died.
I couldnt believe that gold could come of ash. I
couldnt believe that it was you who loved me back.
I warned the gods if they fooled me once more.
That I would be ready and waiting for a war.
I said my hurtfull words with daggers,
sent them to the gods and they sent me back beggers.
Of men and women all wanting me,
I saw right through them and now this is me.
Standing here odd and unwanted.
Hopeing it is me..just me that you wanted.
+The Brave Lover+
No matter how many prayers that leave my lips.
It hardly matters cause its you I miss.
The odd looks and laughes and tempered talks.
The lovely smiles and the way you walk.
I can barely remember the last I felt love.
For all I know its gone and flew away like a dove.
I dare not look in my mirror,
I am afraid cause its me I fear.
All alone and without the one thing for me,
Ide never wish this apon any enemy.
No one deserves this pain and torture,
This cant be it, it cant be my fortune.
I walked to far and too strong,
to be ledd along.
I held fast too hard to you to be,
just someone that you cant see.
A chance is something only the brave take,
Why cant you try..are you fake.
Is this a hoax a lie or a game,
was it me who was played or another name.
I do not want to know all thats true,
let me fall back and sitt in my blues.
Lie to me just let it be,
dont tell me that it was not me.
My heart is to weak to take another hit,
Just let me go softly and just forget it.
{I see you now}
What a vulgur man you turned out to be.
Thought I didnt see it but I knew I would see.
Who you really were one day or two.
Your no saner then me or those other fiew.
I could see past those charming eyes.
Far beyond all those cute lies.
I figured I would just let you go.
Turned out to be hard what do ya know.
I walked away to slow to break free.
Now Im stuck to you just loook at me.
I died the day you left me alone.
Prayed that youde turn around and come home.
Yet no nock or turn of the key.
Now I learned to depend on only me.
There came a day when I got so cold.
I couldnt even laugh if I was told.
Frozen like the cube in my druken cup.
I knew this stubborn heart would not give up.
So much for learning my lessson.
It must have been your first impression.
Give this sad little girl one for chance.
If not please let me out of this trance.
WOW! Those poems were amazing! I wish I could write like that, but my poems end up like, roses are red....lol! I really think that if me and my ex were to get back together that we should really do something special each week like you said. That sounds like a really good idea that would help us feel important to eachother. Any other good ideas??
Quote:
Make sure that you start repairing soon. ASAP soon, dont let another
day go by with you love in the pits. Even the greatest of lovers had to work things out.
how do you suggest that I repair? In what ways? And how do I get my love out of the pits? I dont even know where to begin. I cant even believe that I have survived this long. Go me! I hope he's happy. Hopefully this will make me a much stronger person in or out of a relationship with him. (hopefully with him!)
The fact that going 1 week without talking is a huge deal to you tells me that over the past four months neither of you has gotten any space. I think in order to really sort out your feelings in a situation like that you need to see what it's like without that person in your life. I would back off. He doesn't seem ready. I know many guys who meet the girl of their dreams and then freak out when they realize it may be the real thing. Sounds like that is what has happened.
So what do I do? I mean I dont call him, and when we do talk its because he calls me. Do you not think this week will help anything? And do those guys that you know go back to the girls? Is it just a little stage so that they can figure things out for themselves or is it permanent?
I know that most people would say ***k off and move on. But there is just something making me stay. I just have this feeling inside telling me that he's the one. Is that strange? Also is it normal for guys to back off for a bit while they figure out what they really want in life?
don't know for sure but if i loved a girl this is the last thing i would do on her! i'm not manipulative or play games though it must make a difference? do people really in love do this kind of thing?
depends on your definition of love doesn't it!
Quote:
Also is it normal for guys to back off for a bit while they figure out what they really want in life?
yes i suppose it can be as can be the same for a woman!
give it time and try and not expect anything ( if you can! )
give it time and try and not expect anything ( if you can! )
thanks for the advice. I know I need to think about other things, which I do, but my mind always goes back to him. And I am really scared about meeting him after this week of not talking. I dont want him to crush my heart even more, but I also dont want to be hopeful because then I will only get my heart broken again. I just have no idea of what his thoughts will be. IM SO SCARED!!!
Well its been almost a week since we havent talked I still am sad and now all I can do is wonder what he might say to me on Saturday when we talk. i am so scared. I wonder if he misses me and wants to call but resists...I kind of just wish that he would text message me or email me saying that he misses me. And advice on what exactly to mention to him on Saturday? I know I still have to appear strong to him, but I want him to know that I still want him, but only if he wants me too. Ugghh! Stupid boys!
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Did I do the right thing?
Thank you so much.
Hey gurl....
Hey Stang
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