Ask bf to return engagement ring because I didn't like the ring.

Marisa

Hi,

I have a question about engagement rings? I am not a materialistic person and I have never been one but over the holidays my boyfriend proposed to me. Marriage is very important to me so he asked me to marry him even though marriage is not of great importance to him. He did it because he cared and didn' t want to lose me.

The ring that he picked out for me was nice but the diamond was really really small. It was a .13 caret diamond. I know that I shouldn't be fussy about this but I would have to wear this ring my whole life and I really wanted something that I liked. He has no idea what style of ring I like. The store that he purchased the ring is a very well known store and has a reputation for being very pricey. I know he can afford a nicer ring because he said before he presented me with the ring that "you haven't even seen the ring yet, it's not spectacular and I'm a cheap guy".. I am not even asking for a giant rock but one that is of average size. He makes pretty good money and could easily buy me something that is average size but his refusal to buy me something that I like concerns me.

Somehow I can't help but to think that he doesn't love me enough to get me something that he knows I will like more. So I told him that I wanted to pick out my own ring. I told him I liked that ring he got me but I wanted to look around for something else. He agreed and said that the sales lady at the jewlerry store even said that most men would go with their fiancee to pick out a ring and that it was perfectly fine with him. I know he wasn't too happy with me but what was I supposed to do???

We went back to the store the next day and returned it. I looked at other selections in the store but he was dead set on getting me a ring that costs no more than what he had paid. Because we both live in seperate provinces, it would be difficult to go shopping for rings. Since having returned the ring, he has not mentioned anything about finding another ring for me. I am worried and feel like I am not even engaged to this man.

Was I wrong in doing this?? I don't know what to do. I have not brought up this issue with him over the phone because I am scared it will ignite another argument. Now I feel like a bad person for asking him to return the ring. He accused me of being materialistic and that made me cry. I don't understand him?? Maybe he doesn't love me enough and I am not worth it. I don't know but that's how he made me feel. HE said that I am not from a rich family and he is not rich either and we don't need to spend so much money on the ring. He went as far as to say that I wanted to show off the ring, which I do of course. Any women I know would do that too. They would love to show their family and friends their ring..


Could someone please advise me because I don't even know what's going on now.


Thanks,
Marisa