Cheating Boyfriend... why I am I still around?

anonymous

I'm about to post something that I already know will generate a lot of negative responses towards me, but here goes anyway. I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 years now and we have been living together for over a year. We have had our rough times, but I NEVER would have thought he was cheating on me. We sort of broke up a few weeks ago, and he very briefly saw this girl from his work. We got back together a week later and he told me he would not talk to her anymore. I'm sure at this point all of you reading this know what is coming next. I found out through my sneaky methods that I am not proud of, but anyway, that he IS still talking to her here and there. To top it all off I just found out he has been with many other girls while we were together in the last year, including another girl from his work.

I can't believe I am in a situation like this, but the messed up thing is that I don't want to leave him. I am not an idiot, and I am the first person to tell other girls to get out of bad situations, but here I am in love and staying with a person who tells me he loves me, but has shown me otherwise. Why is it so hard to practice what you preach?

I found out about the other girls he was with (which by the way my women's intuition SCREAMED at me that he was messing around a few months ago and I dismissed it) last night when him and a friend were drinking on the couch while they THOUGHT i was sleeping in the other room. They started talking about girls, and my ears perked up and I heard the entire conversation that they were having. Which I really wish I had not heard, but I needed to know everything. It was the brutal truth too since he was talking to his friend, he omitted no details about his encounters with other girls, including one girl that I always suspected, but never confronted him about.

Anyway, the obvious reaction would be to leave him and never look back, but since we live together and all of my stuff is at his place, it is more complicated than that. This situation is breaking my heart and tearing me apart, and we have only been together over 2 years, and have no kids together. I cannot even imagine how it must feel to find out someone you have been with 10 or 20 years has been unfaithful to you. It is truly one of the worst feelings in the world.