[dine00]

this may sound strange, but I registered on this site to find out whats going on with my boyfriend...and the replies that the member make to other members forums seem very relieving...

anyways, it all started on May 2004. I've been with my boyfriend for a year and 7 months now...but this thought always comes to my head "IS HE BI? DOES HE LIKE GUYS, DO GUYS ARROUSE HIM?" he's always been a pretty boy, he had numerous girlfriends before me, and had so many flings and one night stands with other women, he's cheated on this one girl he was dating and so far I'm the girl he's been with the longest. We actually had problems with him and other girls, until this day I don't know if he's cheated on me. He claims that he's kissed another girl and was guilty about the situation...therefore I had a trust issue concerning my boyfriend....so soon later on, on May 2004. I decided to spy on him, because for some strange reason I felt like something was goin on, thinking to myself maybe he's still seeing other girls.. He got off from work, and i followed him. I was driving far behind him and called him to see where he was going, it was 2am and I figured he would go home after work...So I call him and he tells me he's still at work, and off the bat, he's lying to me...I'm following him on the road, and he's telling me that he's still at work and he's on his way home, I started to freak out. So i continued to follow him until he pulls up to a house (I HAVE NO IDEA WHO LIVES THERE) and I call him back and he's acting really strange. I started to trip out on him, I said that my friend saw his car pull up into someones garage, and then all of a sudden he pulls out of the house, while i parked at the corner of the street. he's freakin out on why i'm gettin all crazy, then he suggest that we meet up to prove to me that he was on his way home. We meet up and he's calm and wondering waht was goin on, I tell him that my friend calls me and tells me that they saw his car pull up into someones house... (while the whole time it was me who followed him) then he says that he pulled up into his grandparents place (and believe me, that wasnt his grandparents place).

The whole time I had this strange feeling that something was going on, he tells me that nothing was going on. but I didnt believe him and stormed off, pissed and ready to dump him. The following day, i still wouldn't beleive him, its just this strange feeling i get...He goes to my house and tells me supposedly the truth, he comes off telling me that he went to a guys house. He said that he was chattin with this guy online (I dont know how long) and this guy made him feel good, when my boyfriend was talking about problems going on at work and other things as well. My boyfriend said on that day he went to his house, he said that was the first time. That night he said that this online guy invited him to his place and my boyfriend decided to go and meet this guy (knowing the intention this "online guy" was implying, my boyfriend already knew this guy was gay)....But my boyfriend said that when he pulled up he was getting nervous and when he finally met this online guy I called and he decided it was a bad idea ( I DONT KNOW WHY HE WENT THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE, IF HE WAS THINKING IT WAS A BAD IDEA), and he left. I asked him at the time if he was gay or bi? he said "I DONT KNOW" he mentioned that he didnt know why he went there...(TO MYSELF I THINK THATS BULL****)....during that time our friends and my boyfriend and I would go this this mixed club (gays & straights) and there would always be a amateur strip show (both guys and girls). He said that he would get strange feelings when he would see these guys strip, as though he was admiring this guy's bodies ( I WAS FREAKIN OUT)....So we stopped goin to that club...and he told me that he will not chat with this guy and soon told me that he wanted to be with me and that he's not gay or bi at all (my boyfriend also mentioned that he faked his identity to this "online guy") he apologized and soon later, everything got better.

but until this day I wonder if he still has that urge to do something with another guy...I wonder if all the girls he was with didnt satisfy him anymore, including myself. At a point our sexual relationship was decreasing, (these were during stressful times) so it just confuses me all over again. but until this day, everytime I drive by that house I wonder if there was more to the "his sexual identity escapade"....and if he'd go through with that experience again...this time without gettin caught...

PLEASE HELP! there are days I lose sleep over this...

THANKS.....

dine00