[onehope2have]

My ex broke up with me. He told me to go visit him and i did for the first time during thanksgiving, we got back together and as soon as i left he broke things off with me, i was hurt all over again.

i bought another ticket to go see him 2 weeks later, and he didn't wnat to get with me. I came to say good bye, and that we couldn't be friends.

now im hurt. hes experiencing college life. and i always thought he was the one.

quick summary: we went out for 8 months, and he just left to college. he told me that our relationships was strong enough to make it through. He was in a long distant relationship before mine for 2 years. and our relationship didn't go through the distant for barely even 2 months. He meant alot to me, more than anyone ever. He was my best friend. He still wants to talk and be my friend.. but as i stated i said goodbye, he told me i was a big part of his life and he didn't want to lose me. I kept strong and told him that sometimes we don't want things in life, but we just have to deal. Im still trying to be strong, but i can't find the motivation anymore. He was the one. Its so painful knowing hes drinking now and partying with other girls. What do i do? How do i keep myself busy away from the phone inorder not to call him? i just need help to get through this. i don't want my family worrying about me anymore.. but i can't get over him. I love him so much more than he can ever imagine. Im still willing to fly over there everyweekend just to see him, i don't care how much it cost me. But i know i shouldn't and can't.. i dont' want to feel this way anymore... can i just jump the high way bridge?

in the note i gave to him it said " i haven't jumped the bridge yet because i love you to much to let you live through the guilt" but i don't want to live anymore!!!!

if i could type more out... i would explain the details of our perfect relationship before he left to college.. but i can't..

all i want to do.. is die... i don't want to live without him.

i went through the same thing..but instead after my ex moved away to college ..he found a gf right away..which crushed but helped me move on..and YOU will get over it..this was just an expierence for you...go out with your girlfriends, go clubbing , partying, meet new guys..because eventually you will learn how to be a individual, find yourself, and you wont depend on anyone but yourself..it will be hard at first but everyone goes through this, and your only in college, this is your prime!! date !! play in the field..you will find somone better hotter cutter nicer smater then your ex, and you will just laugh about this one day..

you cant love somone if you dont learn to love your self first