[Think too much]

I have severe trust issues. I don't know how to overcome them. I don't let people get very close to me. In fact I have been very selective of the people I have let into my life especially men because I dated a guy once that raped me and beat me. I overcame that.. It was several years ago but now I seem to have a hard time dealing with loosing a bf or when someone takes advantage of the trust I had in them. I have pushed a lot of my friends away in fear of being hurt by them. I was engaged once and the man cheated on me and then never spoke to me again. Then my last relationship was pretty serious. We dated for over a hear. Then it ended very bad. Well actually it was pretty similar to the guy I was engaged with. I always had a fear that he would leave me. I never told him about my fear but he always told me how much he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me... then that changed when he started to gain interest in another girl. It's a never ending cycle. anyway...

I just want a decent man that I can trust. I don't want to be in fear of being hurt again and again. I am a smart good looking girl. I get asked out a lot but I don't dare to even date anymore. I am tired of games. I want a mature trustworthy man. Do they even exist?