[DTNut1928]

Not that this is really a big deal, but this always seems to happen to me and for some reason, it always sets me off like you wouldn't believe. Instead of explaining the problem in a schematic way, I will instead use an example conversation that I once had with a lady friend that I met a little while ago:

Girl: So what are you into?
Me: Music. I'm a huge music freak.
Girl: Oh really? Me too!
Me: Oh sweet!
Girl: What do you normally like?
Me: In general, I like heavier stuff that acutally requires talent to play. Metal for instance is a favorite genre of mine.
Girl: Omigod! I love metal! We sure have a lot in common!
Me: Yeah, I guess we do.
Girl: So who's your favorite band?
Me: Dream Theater, without a doubt.
Girl: Omigod! They are so good!
Me: Aren't they?
Girl: My boyfriend just loves them.

At this point I literally snap inside. I mean, I spent a good 20 minutes talking to this woman and it took her that long to admit that she had a boyfriend. I had felt at that point on that I was wasting my time, but I politely carried on the conversation. It turns out that we became almost decent friends, but we really haven't spoken in about 3 months. Besides ever since then, she hasn't been able to shut up about her boyfriend each time we meet. I have had other conversations like this where the girl finally admits that she has a boyfriend, but this conversation was perhaps the closest I ever came to finding a decent girlfriend.

My question is this: Did I look too much into this and get rightfully disappointed? Was she perhaps only seeking friendship (even though i was convinced she wanted a something more than friendship)? Or do occasions like this just set me off without a reason?

[Queen B]

Well the chances are that if you think she's attractive someoene else does too...I say finding the right person is about numbers and it takes time...the more people you talk to, the more you're likely to find someoene really special and interesting.

You mention it took this girl 20 minutes to mention her boyfriend....big deal, it's better than you 2 getting to know one another, going on a date, having sex and then her saying something like..."my boyfriend loves it when I ______ during sex, did you like it too?"

The fact of the matter is that for most women the fact that they have a boyfriend isn't the very first thing you mention in a conversation with ANYBODY, male or female. If you want to know someeone's status before you start talking to them maybe you should try an online service where it's posted with a person's profile (and hopefully true).

I think that when you're looking for a SO you try and read that into everyone elses actions and of course you're more sensitive to the fact that everyone else seems to have a SO...I think that convo above would just means that she thinks you're and interesting person and this isn't a complete waste of your time. Since she's taken I'd ask her if she has and single friends because one of the best way to meet people is through friends.

So maybe if I were you I'd stop the one track approach to finding a GF and maybe just focus on meeting new people and new friends...up your odds of meeting the right person and you will.

[DTNut1928]

"Since she's taken I'd ask her if she has and single friends because one of the best way to meet people is through friends."

Did that, but apparently, none of them are even remotely interested.


"Well the chances are that if you think she's attractive someoene else does too"

Not necessarily. I mean, I though this girl was cute, but most guys my age wouldn''t. (She was about 5'4", had mid-length raven hair, pierced ears, nose, tongue, and navel, wore a lot of black and red, and obviously had makeup on, but not like Tammy Faye Baker makeup or that glitter sh** that girls like to wear.) She sure wasn't ugly, but not somebody that I would've was taken already (let alone by anothe dude who likes DT). I guess chances are someone else will find them attractive, but it's only one person that I know of.


"it's better than you 2 getting to know one another, going on a date, having sex and then her saying something like..."my boyfriend loves it when I ______ during sex, did you like it too?"

This is true.


"just focus on meeting new people and new friends"

I emphasize the word "friends" in the above quote. Since you are a woman (I'm guessing beacuse of the name), do you mean friends like: "you're actually interesting. I'll hang out with you." or friends like: "I really don't wanna talk to his guy, do instead of samvking him on the nose, I'll fake throw the tennis ball in the opposite direction in hopes that he'll chase after the nonexistant object, leaving me time for my escape."?