[Evanescence]

Hi

Well, I'm 22, and I've never REALLY been single. My boyfriend of 5.5. years broke up with me last February, and two months later I started dating again. Just yesterday that relationship also ended.

I am still not over my first relationship entirely, but I told him that I can't speak with him anymore because he was constantly playing with my emotions and he was making it hard for me. My last bf wasn't that great either. It was awesome to begin with, but the relationship just went downhill starting a few months ago (we were long distance and it got to him too much, plus he showed me less and less respect as time went on).

Now I'm single, and I think it might be a good way to be for awhile. Plus I don't know where I'll be come next Sepetmber because I'll be starting grad school.

One problem I do have though, because my 5.5 yr bf and I were so serious, is I have set in my mind that I have to get married... and within the next few years. I'm terrified that I may never find that special someone. I know that I have SO many years to get to that point, but I just can't get it out of my head that it has to happen soon for me to be happy.

Anyway, I would really like to have a fresh start at life. For the last year I have been incredibly depressed and nothing ever seemed to go my way. I was wondering if anyone has any advice for making myself feel better and for making a fresh start.

I recently started a new job, made new friends, and I volunteer. Basically I'm keeping busy. Being a student I have limited funds, so if you can suggest something that doesn't cost much, or doesn't cost anything at all, that would be awesome. I also want to try and have just a new outlook at life... so even encouraging words to help me achieve this would be awesome.

I just want to start over. If I could, I'd move away... like to the other side of the country or something, but at the time I can't do that. I just want something fresh and new.... the way I've been doing things so far doesn't seem to be working out for me.

Anyway, sorry if this is vague, but anything you can say to help would be appreciated. Thanks.