[Katie-Lou]

Hello,

I may be over-reating but this is really getting to me.

Basically, i'll be out with my boyfriend and if he sees a 'fit girl' he'll say things like 'i wouldn't mind a bit of her', 'god, i'd rag the ass off her' and stuff like that right in front of me. I know obviously he's allowed to look at other girls and i don't mind when he does but when he says things like that right in front of me i feel awkward. Obviously he's allowed an opinion and stuff, but i feel like i'm not good enough for him when he says things like that. I know he's a really flirty person anyway but it just upsets me.

We were on the bus the other day, me, my boyfriend, my friend and her boyfriend and there was a girl walking along as we were passing by on the bus and he was like '**** me man she's ****in gorgeous' she had like a really short skirt on jus covering her ass and like a top revealing everything and me and my mate were jus sat there like no she ent she just looks like some cheap slut. Anyway my mates boyfriend looked so disgusted and he said to my boyfriend 'i'd never say that in front of my girlfriend' and was like propa having a go about it. And my mate could see i was upset and he just sat there and laughed and goes i'm only telling the truth, and then put his arm round me and i just felt like telling him to piss off, i didn't but i was close to it.


Another thing is, is that i haven't seen him for 3 days, he never ever rings or texts me, i'm always the one that has to get in contact with him. And anyway, today i phoned him up cause i text him this morning - no reply, and i just said 'look are you coming down or not because if you're not i'm going to town.' and he said, 'i cant i'm going to Bristol until the weekend', so basically i haven't seen him for 3 days and then he's buggering off to Bristol for another 5 days and wasn't even gonna let me know.

I'm not bothered about him going, it's just i'm scared he's gonna cheat on me or something, especially if he hasn't seen me for like a few days. When he told me he was going i felt like crying because since i've been going out with him i've seen him most days and i've got really attatched to him in ways, and knowing i'm not gonna see him for basically a week. And i don't want to keep ringing him, because i feel he might get fed up with me.

It's just really getting me down.

I don't know whether to see how things go or just forget about the whole relationship. He's causing me a lot of problems/issues that i don't need at the moment and it's just making me upset.

Please can i have someone's opinion?

Thanks,

Katie-Lou.

[Jilly10340]

I can't really tell you whether or not to drop the whole relationship, that's your decision. But.....it was really insensitive and completely wrong to talk about other girls in front of you. Yeah, everyone is allowed to have their opinion and yes, guys will look at other girls. But that doesn't mean they have to go around and talk about ****ing them in front of you. That's completely disrespectful to the relationship and to you. I wouldn't put up with that. You're better and deserve better then that.

Also, if you friend and her boyfriend could tell you were upset by the incident on the bus, then that probably means that your bf could to and that didn't stop him. Complete *********.

How long have you guys been together? He was just going to leave for bristol for 5 days and not even send a word your way about it? I have no words to even describe how I feel about this one except, "um.....no!" That's the crappiest thing I've ever heard. Again, your better then that.

My best advice......I read a really good book recently that sums it all up: You already have one *********, you don't need another one.

[shortbus74]

Please refer to my post about finding another girls no while doing fiance's laundry...

[babybear]

We're all human, girls check out guys and guys look at girls...but when you're with your SO, it's totally unacceptable and disrespectful! I would be okay with a comment like, that woman is exceptionally beautiful, or she has a pretty face...b/c I can appreciate the beauty of a man or woman too, and I don't expect him to turn a blind eye to it, but to comment about f-ing someone, is TOTALLY crossing the line. And in addition, I would feel stupid when all the ppl around me notice how disrespectful my bf is to me.

Secondly, my bf wouldn't leave town for 5 days without telling me because he knows I would worry, and because when 2 ppl committ like that, you dont just skip town and let the other person wonder where the hell you went.

I don't think he's treating you right, and when you find someone better, you'll wonder what the hell you were wasting your time with this guy for.

Jeez, it doesn't even sound like you're really dating this guy.

He tells you how hot other chicks are.
He doesn't contact you- you have to contact him.
He goes out of town without even telling you.

How disrespectful. I would say end it, but it sounds like it already did.

P.S. This is just me...but I would not contact him at all and see exactly how long it took him to call me, and what he would say when he finally got around to it.

[Karina]

IGNORE HIS ASS for the whole week he's gone. IF he still doesnt phone you or text you to see why it is you havent been keeping in touch, than maybe theres a bigger problem than you think. Im sure you've probably got attached to him, since you two are probably sleeping together, but if he is the way you say he is, than maybe he doesnt really worry about YOU in the way you should be worried about.! Men in relationships or out of relationships are ALWAYS going to look at other woman. I've learned if you cant beat 'em JOIN 'em. THats what i had to do to get over my jelousy of my man looking at other woman. He would never dare to TRY me especialy in front of my friends. Your boyfriend has "ego" problems. ANd you need to let him know wut the deal is. Letting a guy walk around thinking he can do and say what he pleases, is like watching a chicken with out his head run around! THey dont know what they're doing and what they're running them selves into. Im not talking about ALL men, but just the ones that think they shyt dont stink! when in reality i can smell them from here!


TAKE care of your business woman! if he matters to you than do what u gotta do to keep whats urs under control.
-Kari

[Starnette83]

im sorry but hes being really mean saying stuff like that about other girls in front of u, imagine if he sais things like this in front of u,w hat does he do when u arent around?
Honestly hes not appreciating or respecting u...dont thinkless of yourself, have some confidence in you...YOu dont need a guy who makes u feel like this, us girls are already natuarally insecure and with a guy like this it just makes us more insecure...please go to the library or buy the book "why men love bitches" by sherry argove it will help u alot!!

my advice is dont dump him, but dump him in ure heart and mind!!! make him wonder "whoa what happen to her"
dont call him, dont text him, and if he wants to hang out, say ure busy!!!
trust me once he sees u unhooked he will come ure way, but either way u shouldnt bother, he sounds liek a scum!

[innocntlisy1981]

i had a boyfriend who used to do that to me he was always perving on other girls and going on about how big there tits where and how myuch he liked big tits not to mention ta constant porn and tha flirting all tha time and this used to really upset me cos it leads to way worser problems like low self esteem constant jealously.and he never once told me how good i looked i couldnt go anywhere with him.anyway needless to say while he was doing that i had a heap of guys telling me just how great i am and i realised that he suked and ileft him.i cant help but think ur more in to him than he is you.tha fact that u havent seen him for 3 days and he was planning to go way and dint even call you to see u before he left that reall shows lack of caring.sorry i thnk u should giv him tha flik.get a guy who appreciates u there plenty out there and by staying with this jerk ur ruining ur chances of finding tha guy out there that is for you and waiting

[dizi]

What a jerk...

P.S. This is just me...but I would not contact him at all and see exactly how long it took him to call me, and what he would say when he finally got around to it.-savethedrama4yrmama

I agree whole heartedly. I wouldn't give him another thought either, to be honest. No one deserves that crap. And the fact that he didn't even contact you to tell you he was leaving for a week paints an even uglier picture of him.

If you break, and it sounds like you might because it sounds like you're more into him than he is to you, and you end up hanging out with him and he pulls the same s*it saying how he wouldn't mind f-ing a girl (hopefully you will get enough courage and support here on LS to know that you are TOTALLY justified in being upset and not bother with this douche-bag ever again) do this: walk up to the girl and say, "Hey, my boyfriend just informed me that he'd really like to (whatever vulgar words he decides to use that day) -- he's all yours for the taking! Then walk away and catch a bus or cab home. Leave him in the dust. You deserve to be treated a lot better. He has a HUGE ego. What a turn off. Respect yourself and run away from this ass!