[flavius]

I want to raise an important but complex subject. I'm especially interested in responses of married people, not those who reject marriage. Consider this:

There is a couple, best friends of my wife and me. She complains that she gets no sexual attention. She also says she has grown indifferent to sex, and really doesn't care if she ever has sex again. She regularly rebuffs his advances because she resents his neglect, and he neglects her because he resents her continual rejection.

Somehow they seem to present a caricature of Bad Love. Exaggerated, but in a way typical. She has near zero libido. She weaponizes his libido to punish him. She wants intimacy but witholds sex, knowing that he is morally bound to her. Does she sound evil? ACTUALLY SHE IS A VERY NICE GIRL, and she feels like he is almost entirely at fault (he likes basketball more than her, etc, etc, etc.) Oddly, he is prudish and she is not.

But how typical is this pattern? Well, consider this. Dozens of academic studies report that about 2/3 of wives say they do not get enough sex. Strangely, they also reveal that about 2/3 of wives complain that their partner wants sex too much! Notice something? The math makes no sense!

In rough terms, that is about a third of all women living in total contradiction about sex. Although they say they like the idea of sex, (a) they have little libido, and (b) they resent their husband's libido. Now, another third simply like sex (almost a perfect correlation with the 1/3 who regularly masturbate , and the last third logically will be women with lower libido, but who are responsive to (versus resentful of) their husbands' drive.

I know this is a statistical oversimplification, but the dynamic is so strong that there is definitely a truth in there: While they may not acknowledge it, MANY WOMEN APPARENTLY JUST DISLIKE THE MALE SEX DRIVE. They seem to particularly hate that our visceral drive is largely independent of social and emotional factors (e.g., that is, the fact that a woman may be a total stranger, a prostitute, a porn photo, or a 16 year old clerk doesn't nullify the drive.) Women with low libido seem to view the drive itself as a moral deficiency.

I guess the male sex drive is just a dark and mysterious force that many women don't comprehend. Most dig it, but women apparently just think we're icky.

Okay, that should get me a hatful of angry replies. But don't just try to make a name for yourself by whacking on me, enlighten me with your wisdom!