I am doing a project for school. I am a second year college student in Boston and I major in computer science. Currently, I am doing research for sociology. My topic is Gender Relations. I did research on Men, women and relations.
I've discovered some alarming facts.
The police and justice system are biased against men in domestic violence cases. They always assume that men are guilty and women are their victims. Many men are violent but a lot of women are violent too and hurt the men. The police should help both sexes. Domestic Violence is a universal issue and not a gender issue. There are no shelters for Battered Men. There are no Social Services for Men. There are no networks for Abused Men.
This is just not fair. I talked this over with my family and a lot of people have said that they noticed a lot of women being violent toward men and getting away with it because of the biased system. That's female abuse of power and it's just not fair.
Excuse me, most women are simply smaller than men and physically less able to beat a man up. I did judo and I had problems with kiddies who were 13 years old. I also practiced with the full grown men and now way I would have beat them up. It just made me think about my usual carefree behavior, because should I ever get attacked by a man I would have few chances to defend myself. Better avoid dark alleys....
I think what you stated are more exceptions than the rule.
If there is a bias against men, I think it balances out the power that men have over women, physically and economically. Women also need an "Uncle Samantha"
Excuse me, most women are simply smaller than men and physically less able to beat a man up.
I think what you stated are more exceptions than the rule.
Kooky, with all due respect, you can think what you like but facts are facts. Facts are that women DO beat men up. Quite often, it's because the men will NOT beat them back. One of my exes, who was a big, heavily-muscled, VERY strong man, had been a victim of an abusive woman. She would beat him up WHEN HE WAS SLEEPING! He would never raise a hand against a woman. That woman was a psycho and he just thought he didn't deserve better. You don't understand what poor self-esteem does to a person. Men are not immune from self-esteem issues and can be abused every bit as much as women can.
The incidence of violence against men is roughly the same proportion as that against women. The difference is that men do more physical damage because they are stronger, but the seriousness of a violence issue is not determined by the amount of damage caused.
__________________
I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show to my fellow creatures, let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.
Unless I get a serious study presented on this subject I will stick with my doubts. How many women are here who would like to have a man who lets himself beat up by a woman?
Go read the thread by the 6-foot man who was abused. Dyer has posted some excellent links.
How many women are here who would like to have a man who lets himself beat up by a woman?
Have you ever lived in an abusive situation? Do you have the slightest idea what you're talking about?
Well, I got news for you, chickie. I have. And until you have, don't even dare think you can understand and quit passing judgement on people because you have absolutely zero clue.
How's about trying this out for a change: don't assume you know about something until you've actually made an effort to learn about it.
Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 6th October 2004 at 1:59 AM..
Reason: Removed inappropriate comments.
Ok, Moimeme. Iīll admit it. I love abusing men. I love it when they kneel in front of me after a good beat up and kiss my feet. Gotta love these sweeties.
You know you are the one who is always assuming so much. Whenever someone has doubts about anything and you disagree you turn this person into an intolerant dumbass. But Iīll forgive you.
This is a serious problem in our society. The world assumes that Battered Men don't exist. They do. check out www.batteredmen.com or something. The cops, prosecutors and whole justice system is biased against Men. This is intolerable and thus, Men's Rights groups have been popping up all over the world. Maybe someday, men will get the same protections under the law that women do.
Men's Rights are severely challenged.
A woman almost always gets child custody whether or not she is fit for parenthood. That's not fair. Joint custody is the only fair thing to both parents. It's the best thing for the child. Gender should not determine the outcome of a trial. Every case is different. Cops and prosecutors and social services should try to be fair to both men and women instead of catering to the Feminist Propaganda !!!!
Facts are that women DO beat men up He would never raise a hand against a woman
Kooky, Moi has a valid point here: men do get physically abused by women, though mostly it goes unreported, my thought is because it's tied into of self-esteem issues ("a woman beat HIM up? oh yeah, right") or because they simply don't want to rock the boat because they were raised to believe that you don't act out against women.
read heebiejeebie's post about his experience with an abusive SO. in it, he shares that he was in disbelief it was happening in their relationship because that was not what he observed in his parents' relationship (which is often our standard for our own). And, as with the case of a dysfunctional relationship, a person doesn't want to rock the boat because they hope against hope that the other person will change for the better.
we often hear about dysfunctional relationships where men smack their women around, but rarely about the women who do that to their men. Just because it's not spoken about as much, violence against men DOES exist. And we have to offer the same kind of support and encouragement to those fellas if we women expect it ourselves, because it's the right thing to do.
Cops and prosecutors and social services should try to be fair to both men and women
you've also got to take into consideration that society has evolved over the years to a point where we see Mr. Moms caring for their children while their wives are the breadwinners, and where we find that men are more actively involved in raising their children.
I can guarantee that in my parents' day, women were the sole care providers (in the emotional and physical sense) of their children, because their husbands were making sure of their economic well-being. I don't recall hearing many stories about men my dad's age feeding or bathing or even diapering their babies -- usually there was a female around to do "that" stuff!
Now, however, it's not so unusual to see dads caring for their kids, I don't know if it's because social standards have relaxed and they feel comfortable being actively involved with childcare, or if it's because there are so many single moms and dads responsible for kids that men pretty much MUST be capable of caring for that child because there isn't a partner to help them do those things.
all that leads into the legal aspect of things: the courts pretty much still rely on the idea that women are better providers for their children than men are, probably because women instinctively are nurturing with their kids, while men still think of "care" in the economic sense. Or something like that. As the roles of parents evolve, so will society respond. I don't really think it's a "feminist" issue at all, just the way it's always been, and we're finally responding to that in a more equal manner.
__________________ Where sin abounded, grace abounded all the more (Rom 5:20)
Nothing to do with abuse, but there is an activist group on this side of the pond - Fathers 4 Justice - who have been pulling some pretty crazy stunts lately in order to garner publicity for their cause. Famiy law courts are VERY biased against fathers and rarely enforce contact orders. I have no doubt that the police & courts are just as biased against male victims of domestic violence.
Whenever someone has doubts about anything and you disagree you turn this person into an intolerant dumbass
Wrongo, Kooky. People who don't know what they're talking about, but insist on clinging to prejudiced ideas like
How many women are here who would like to have a man who lets himself beat up by a woman?
which denigrate people who have already suffered a great deal get both barrels from me. It's one thing to question and to look for information, and quite another to decide that you are entitled to grand - and completely erroneous - pronouncements about mental illness or female-to-male abuse without bothering to educate yourself first.
People who have already suffered suffer again when they read the likes of those sorts of opinions. So unless you get off on kicking people who are already down, maybe consider informing yourself (and this doesn't apply to just you but to anybody who does the same thing) before you utter such statements. Don't be a part of propagating negative and unfair stereotypes!
I have doubts, thatīs it, if you think Iīm wrong then convince me that Iīm wrong. What really gets on my nerve is when I state my opinion and get criticized for not knowing whatīs going on. I donīt think I have to do research in a library or internet to have an opinion on certain things. I will base them on my everyday life experiences. If I donīt know any battered men, then I donīt know them. If itīs a hidden problem of society, then itīs great someone is taking the effort to tell people whatīs really going on. If you donīt want me to raise doubts about your statement that there exists a problem with battered men, then bring me facts, because you could as well tell me tomorrow itīs going to rain and I will tell you, I donīt think so, because itīs summer and we have 30 °C. If you tell me you have more information because of some satellite pictures fine, but if you canīt give me any reason to believe Iīm wrong, then stop criticizing me.
What I donīt like is Moimemeīs way of criticizing people. You appear extremely condescending and therefore I have really problems to accept anything you say, just because the tone of your critics can be quite arrogant. If you want to convince people of anything you donīt have to sugar coat it, but I think a little bit of respect is necessary to make them listen to you. Your objective could be to show people how wrong they are and how right you are, or you want to convince them to change their opinion, but this requires a change in your approach. Telling people how stupid they are is certainly not going to make them change their opinion however wrong they may be.
I don't give a flying flip who's right or wrong. What annoys me to no end is the sort of statements made like that folks with mental ailments are 'lazy' or that battered men are wimps. No, that wasn't said in so many words, but that was absolutely the implication.
If you don't know about something, then your opinion is uninformed. Realize that and at least say 'I think'. It doesn't take a whole lot of effort to become informed. You have Google. Put 'battered men' in the search engine and learn.
but if you canīt give me any reason to believe Iīm wrong, then stop criticizing me.
It's not my job to inform you. It's your job to understand what you don't know and to learn about it before you start flinging condemnatory statements at others. There's lots of things I don't know about and I don't post about them. If I do post, I check my facts first to be sure that I'm going to post something accurate so as not to mislead anybody.
IMHO, it is stupid and mean to say things like 'what woman would want a man who let himself be battered' and I'll never sugarcoat my dislike of such ridiculous, unfair statements.
If you want to say prejudiced things like that, go ahead, but don't expect me to be sweet about it.
Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.
Linear Mode
