Jump to content

Sex while asleep


Recommended Posts

Hello All,

 

I was wondering if anyone has experience with this issue...more and more lately my husband rolls over in his sleep and says sexual (and pretty naughty/cool) things or rubs up on me. I usually reciprocate but am never sure if he is dreaming or awake, he almost never remembers any of it in the morning. At first, it did not bother me much and we've even made love and he wakes up in the middle of it and just continues.

 

I can't seem to shake one thing though...when he does this I wonder if he is into and excited by me or the dream (or both). I know it really shouldn't matter but I don't want to be merely an outlet for his dream, I want to be made love to as myself. He is a great guy and I am frustrated because he cannot answer this for me as he does not know or remember it himself.

 

Any insight or thoughts??

 

Thanks,

Pantuuf

Link to post
Share on other sites

he's reacting to his dream. If that bothers you just ignore his sleeping advances- or wake him up so he is aware that it's you and you can finish what his dream started. Also- don't discount the fact that he could be dreaming about you. ;)

Link to post
Share on other sites

ok - now i am totally confused. this has been my hb's pattern for about the last year....but when he starts, he appears to be asleep - and often talking/babbling in his sleep when he first grabs me.

 

do you mean that he's waking up afterward? or in the middle somewhere? because i know that your not going to tell me that he was conscious when he was saying that he couldn't figure out how to get my skirt off, while pulling on my PJ pants.

Link to post
Share on other sites

My fiance and I both babble in our sleep, me mostly. I'll bring up things in my sleep and reiterate points of a conversation we talked about right before we fell asleep. And I've woken up horny too. Mine is inexplainable. I'm not horny or dreaming of another man in my sleep or dreams, I just wake up and want him every now and then. Talk to him about it, that's really all you can do. But if he doesn't remember it, he doesn't remember it. Ya know?

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Thanks for the posts, I really would love it if you are right JMargel...if he is fully awake and trying to get some, that is awesome.

 

He says things like..."I've been wanting to do this since I first met you..." which is a bit troubling, who is he talking to. In the end, I realize he is probably just dreaming and he cannot control what he dreams so it is not a big deal I just wish it did not bother me, I wish I could just enjoy it without feeling strange.

 

Thanks,

Pantuuf

Link to post
Share on other sites

my bf does this too. More so after he has had a few he says raunchy things and grabs me then starts to mutter something else. We used to sleep naked and he is into anal and I am not well he started humping me and things almost went in the wrong place. Since we stopped sleeping together naked it has calmed down

Link to post
Share on other sites

JMArgel is dead on.

 

It's a ruse!

 

I've even tried it before! :)

 

Works okay, but if it's a recurring pattern it's probably a fantasy that he doesn't feel comfortable bringing up, which signals something else(off topic).

 

I say humor him, and get into to with him. But next time he wakes up, pretend you're still sleeping. ;)

 

Or feign that you don't remember what happenned either!

 

Maybe plan a few weeks where you develop sleep-walking. You can do this. It'll be great! :) Get him thinking you are a sleep walker. I mean really work it up, but not to far as to tip him off. Then one night, sit up in bed, walk around, get naked, pull the covers off and do him. But don't let on that you're conscious. Ever! Go through the whole thing in your "sleep" and don't remember it the next day.!

 

Ooops, I've just divulged one of my fantasies. :eek:

 

O what the hell!

 

mA

Link to post
Share on other sites

My husband used to "rub on me" in his sleep (it didn't lead to sex but it was a way to get some action), he swears he didn't know or remember.....

 

But hey if it's good sex, enjoy it!!

 

As for the "I've been wanting to do this since I first met you"....now that would scare the daylights out of me if he's truly asleep....does he say that every time??

 

If he's pretending....LOL....next time he says that, answer and call him by another name and say "I've been wanting this too!" See if he remembers it then!! ;):p

Link to post
Share on other sites

Most guys will do anything to get a cheap feel. Trust me. He's awake. I've done that with my ex. Pretended to be asleep and play with her (she would be asleep), hoping to get her horny. Half the times she would wake up, pissed off. So, if I pretended to be asleep, I wouldn't have to face the consequences. :p

Link to post
Share on other sites
Originally posted by jmargel

Most guys will do anything to get a cheap feel. Trust me. He's awake. I've done that with my ex. Pretended to be asleep and play with her (she would be asleep), hoping to get her horny. Half the times she would wake up, pissed off. So, if I pretended to be asleep, I wouldn't have to face the consequences. :p

 

Do you think y'all do that because you are afraid of being turned down?

 

I think men are unfairly made to feel like they are pigs because they have such strong sex drives.....maybe that's why y'all will do different things (sometimes sneaky) to make love.....poor guys! :(

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Hello,

 

Thanks again, VivianLee you asked if he says this every time, not every time but it is a recurring theme. Every once in a blue moon he'll say my name but other times I really think he is totally out of it and does not know it's me. That is a funny thougtht to call him by another name and say I've been waiting too (then we'll see if he wakes up). I think I am taking all of this too seriously and probably need to have more fun.

 

I hear his father used to sleepwalk all the time and often dreamt of vampires and his wife would wake up with him over her asking like he is about to kill her or stab her (thinking she's a vampire), sounds spooky but they all laugh about it.

 

Massive Atom, what are your thoughts as to the fantasy this may be signaling? Also, good idea maybe one of these days I will fein sleepwalking and get my groove on.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Pantuuf,

 

I think I was unclear. What I was trying to say was this. If this is a recurring theme and he's awake feigning sleep then he may be acting out a fantasy that he's uncomfortable sharing with you.

 

It's the uncomfortable sharing with you part that signals something else.

 

I could be that he feels unsafe or unsure about intimately discussing this part of himself with you for some reason. It could be he's closeting himself, afraid of being thought a pervert. He's not. I have some pretty wierd catatonia fantasies that make me wonder sometimes.

 

Then again, I have been known to overanalyze too. this might be a great opportunity for you to have some fun.

 

Holy CRAP!! I just googled "Sleep Sex" You will be wowed!

 

Check it out!

 

mA

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Hello MassiveAtom,

 

Holy Moly,

 

You are right, I am officially wowed. There are hundreds of entries about this and it is a bonafide disorder/condition. I will count myself lucky that my husband is never violent like some of the articles cover.

 

I have been reading a while but nowhere does it mention possible causes, did you find anything?

 

Thanks again,

Cindy

Link to post
Share on other sites

jmargel is a bit off. I'm female, and I've done exactly what you describe your husband as having done. Last time, I woke up while we were in the middle of things, and I assumed that my then boyfriend had started sex play while I was asleep. I happily played along as I awoke further, and asked him at a point why he'd awakened me this way. He told me I'd started it, and described how! Pantuuf, you may be relieved to hear that in my case, I was not aware of having had any dream, nor was I confused about who I was with when I came to. It all felt very natural and monogamous. My guess is that your husband is just very attracted to you--so much so that his body and subconscious mind respond to you even before his conscious mind does. Sounds like a good match! Be sure that you play along only when you want to of course, and I agree that it would be best (and more fun!) to wake him in some gentle, perhaps sexual way when he approaches you. Conscious lovers are more engaged, I hear :) You may feel more comfortable this way. Once you feel more secure about his somnabulic advances, maybe you can enjoy the abandon of a sleeping lover too.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Sunseed,

 

Thanks so much for your post, you sure did make me feel better, it is so helpful to have the insight of someone who has first hand experience with this. I have always thought it was great when he does this, it just spooked me a little with him saying strange things and I wondered if he was dreaming of someone else. Hearing your experience takes a lot of weight off and I will now enjoy with abandon.

 

Thanks again!

Link to post
Share on other sites
Originally posted by Pantuuf

Hello All,

 

I was wondering if anyone has experience with this issue...more and more lately my husband rolls over in his sleep and says sexual (and pretty naughty/cool) things or rubs up on me. I usually reciprocate but am never sure if he is dreaming or awake, he almost never remembers any of it in the morning. At first, it did not bother me much and we've even made love and he wakes up in the middle of it and just continues.

 

I can't seem to shake one thing though...when he does this I wonder if he is into and excited by me or the dream (or both). I know it really shouldn't matter but I don't want to be merely an outlet for his dream, I want to be made love to as myself. He is a great guy and I am frustrated because he cannot answer this for me as he does not know or remember it himself.

 

I've never experienced this, but I would love to. I would love to wake up to making love with my SO.

Link to post
Share on other sites

What a fun message string!

 

I have always thought it would be cool to ravish my wife in her sleep, or to be pounced on while I am asleep. Being pounced on because my sleep-humping wife is having a nasty dream is so cool I'd never even thought of it!

 

Look, who cares what he's dreaming about? My beloved, faithful wife regularly has really nasty dreams (that usually fail to include me :mad: , and I've had a couple, too :o ) It doesn't mean anything -- just consider it a freebie!

 

This sleep-sex thing really sounds like a gift to me. I wish I had it!

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...

Your husband is cheating on you in his mind. This is tantamount to cheating on you in real life (which is probably happening also). He's only finishes "the job" because that is what any male would do. My advice? dump him. Or ask to join in with whoever else he is bonking.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Originally posted by renegator

Your husband is cheating on you in his mind. This is tantamount to cheating on you in real life (which is probably happening also). He's only finishes "the job" because that is what any male would do. My advice? dump him. Or ask to join in with whoever else he is bonking.

 

You have insecurity issues. You aren't even remotely correct.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Pantuuf,

You're so welcome. I'm glad you feel better about your husband and his nighttime moves! In my last message I forgot to tell you that I'd had another encounter of that kind, but with my sleeping fiance. I woke up to his gentle movements, and we went on, but unbeknownst to me he didn't wake up for a while longer! It was so sweet when he came to because he assumed I started things.

 

One years ago I also awakened to unwanted sexual touching, while I was otherwise asleep and motionless. I let this jackass (up until then a new lover) know quick that it wasn't going to happen. It felt like a violation, and considering this I want to turn my attention to Flavius' post.

 

Flavius, you probably already thought about this, but do your marriage a favor and don't consider ravishing your sleeping wife. Maybe you could try to start things with suggestive holding and see if she responds. She's more likely to appreciate the loving eroticism of a sexual awakening, if you will, than being entered while alseep and inert.

 

 

 

 

;)

Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, one time I was sleeping next to a girl and woke up with my hand fooling around in her crotch. To clarify, my hand wasn't just sitting there...I was rubbing her. Anyway, I woke up and when I was trying to move my hand away she woke up, too. And she got PISSED!! She never minded if I woke her up by rubbing her stomach or kissing her neck and ears, but to fondle her why she was asleep made her quite angry. I never could convince her that I wasn't even awake, and it didn't really matter. She felt molested.

 

We got over it, but it was a strange experience.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, of course. The subject in this thread was of people having sex while asleep but NOT inert. The thing that makes the idea so intriguing is that according to our bedroom experience, this would be impossible. Neither of us could get CLOSE to getting laid without waking up. To all of you who could accomplish this feat, CONGRATULATIONS! Sounds like fun!

 

(Besides, Sunny, we've been married 20 years of pure fun.. We don't get offended that easily. Now maybe if someone got tied to the clothesline with a goat and a weedeater...)

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...